Week 3: A Statue of Limitations


Washington has statues out the wazoo. Some are of presidents, some are of military leaders, some are of obscure pathetic has-beens. The idea here is to come up with a concept for a statue of someone -- anyone, dead or alive -- who doesn't currently have one. You don't have to draw it, you just need to describe it: You may include details of the pose, but you must include an inscription or quotation for the pedestal. Just about anyone will do: Nixon, Haldeman, Kornheiser, Riggins, Ling-Ling, The Energizer Bunny, you know. Anyone. 

First-prize winner will get a framed original drawing of his concept, signed and inscribed by famed "Style Invitational" cartoonist by Marc Rosenthal (a $ 45,000 value once "The Style Invitational" catapults Mr. Rosenthal to the fawning international fame he deserves). Runners-up will get the coveted "Style Invitational" Loser's T-shirt. As always, entries will be judged on humor and originality. Mail your entries to The Style Invitational, Week 3, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or fax them to 202-334-4312.

Entries must be received by Monday, March 29. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate families, are not eligible for prizes.

Week 1 Results: A New Name for the Redskins

Let us first note that the single best new name we received, a name so hip and clever that it should be the new name for the Redskins, is "The Washington Clout," submitted by Hank Wallace of Washington. Let us also note that Mr. Wallace did not win our contest. He does not get the elegant Timex Triathlon digital watch, nor does he get the coveted runner-up "Loser" T-shirt. He gets squat. Sorry, Hank. We wanted "funny," and you gave us "good." We trust you will not make that mistake again. This contest is satire. Good is not good enough.

Most hackneyed entries: The Washington Monuments, followed closely by the Gridlocks, the Cookies (get it?), the Red Inks, the Red Tapes, the Pigskins and the PAC-men. Roughly a quarter of the 346 entries came up with one of these gems.

Now here's an original idea: Keep the name Redskins, but change the logo from an Indian to a potato! You were proud of that concept, all 23 of you who thought of it.

Best proposal to keep the "Skins" nickname: The Washington Rumpelstiltskins, by Edwin J.Hughes, Laurel.

Classiest entry: "The Washington L'Enfant Terribles," by Bonnie Tyler, of Washington.

Best Idea requiring elaborate explanation: "The Washington (your name here)." The name would change yearly, depending on which ego-diseased free agent the team is courting. This year, it would be "The Washington Reggies." John P. Gudas, Annapolis.

AND NOW, THE WINNERS:

Fifth Runner-Up: "The Washington Homicide Capitols," by Karin Schmerler, Washington.

Fourth Runner-Up: "The Washington Embittered Food-Service Workers," by Bradley Fisher, Rockville.

Third Runners-Up: "The Washington Senior Officials" and "The Washington Kickbacks," Dan Creel, Rockville.

Second Runner-Up: "The Washington Unindicted Co-Conspirators," by Charles Dean Layman, Silver Spring.

First Runner-Up: "The Washington Irvings," by E. Stanley Murphy, Charlottesville.

AND THE WINNER OF THE WATCH:

"The Baltimore Redskins" (No, don't move the team, just change the name. Let Baltimore worry about it). Douglas R. Miller, Arlington.