THEMES: Below are what will become links to subsets of these contests, which I call "themes." Most of the contests have been assigned one or more themes, which are indicated with trigraphs. It was not easy going through more than a thousand synposes to make these subjective assignments, so please let me know of any adjustments that should be made.

Anagrams (ANA) -- Analogies (ANL) -- Art (ART) -- Athletics and Sports (ATH) -- Bumperstickers (BUM) -- Business and Commerce (BUS) -- Captions (CAP) -- Cartoons (CAR) -- Comics (COM) -- Crossword Puzzles (CRO) -- Culture and Entertainment (CUL) -- Differences (DIF) -- Epitaphs (EPI) -- Google (GOO) -- Headlines (HEA) -- Historical (HIS) -- Horses (HOR) -- Hyphens (HYP) -- Jeopardy (JEO) -- Jokes (JOK) -- Language (LAN) -- Legislation (LEG) -- Letters (LET) -- Limericks (LIM) -- Literature (LIT) -- Movies (MOV) -- Music (MUS) -- Photos (PIX) -- Poetry (POE) -- Political and Government (POL) -- Previous Contests (PRE) -- Questions (QUE) -- Religion (REL) -- Rorschach Tests (ROR) -- Science (SCI) -- Slogans (SLO) -- Style Invitational (STY) -- Television (TEL) -- T-shirts (TSH) -- Washington (WAS) -- Words (WOR)

YEAR 1 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 7, 1993	1	SHEDDING THE SKINS?	Come up with a new name for the Redskins.	Douglas R. Miller	WAS ATH		HTML
March 14, 1993	2	WRITE A MOTTO. WIN A MONSTROSITY.	Maryland needs a new motto, a multi-purpose slogan suitable for placement on a state seal or a license plate. Something grand, something that embodies the full bodacious majesty of the state.	Oslo	SLO POL		HTML
March 21, 1993	3	A STATUE OF LIMITATIONS	Come up with a concept for a statue of someone -- anyone, dead or alive -- who doesn't currently have one.	Bob Zane		1	HTML
March 28, 1993	4	[untitled]	This week, a gripe-fest about modernity and other irritations. Complete this sentence: "If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we ... "	Geri Klitsch Heidi Klitsch Tom Klitsch		2	HTML
April 4, 1993	5	THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW	Invent a creative piece of legislation based on skillfully juxtaposed names of actual U.S. senators and representatives.	Jacki Drucker Carol Vance	LEG	3	HTML
April 11, 1993	6	PUTTING WORDS IN THEIR MOUTHS	In 40 words or less, write a caption for either of these two generic cartoons drawn by famed Style Invitational artist Marc Rosenthal	Chuck Smith	CAR	4	HTML
April 18, 1993	7	BEAT THE BANDS	Come up with a name for rock bands.	Beverley Brown	CUL	5	HTML
April 25, 1993	8	I AM SPURIOUS (YELLOW)	Write a headline for the Weekly World News (Maximum length, 10 words)	Byron Baker	HEA	5	HTML
May 2, 1993	9	VANITY UNFAIR	Create vanity license plates for famous people.	Don Beale	CUL	6	HTML
May 9, 1993	10	A WEEK THAT WILL LIVE IN EUPHEMY	Write us a funny euphemism.	Erik Johnson	WOR	7	HTML
May 16, 1993	11	YOU GIVE US THE BACKS OFF OUR SHIRTS	The back of the shirt needs a slogan, something that captures the spirit of The Style Invitational. What is that spirit? You tell us.	Mary Pat Jones Mary Pat Jones	TSH STY	8	HTML
May 23, 1993	12	HERE, DOGGEREL …	Write a limerick. It must contain one of the following names: "Hillary Rodham Clinton," "Jack Kevorkian," "George Stephanopoulos" or "Bosnia-Herzegovina."	Jimmy Nguyen	LIM CUL	9	HTML
May 30, 1993	13	ANAGRAMS = A MAN'S RAG	Come up with a funny anagram for the name of a famous person or institution. All letters in the name must be used, and no letters may be left over.	Donna Hughes-Hasle John Hughes-Hasle	ANA	10	HTML
June 6, 1993	14	COLLECTIVE INSANITY	Modernize collective nouns (as in a "pride" of lions or an "exaltation" of larks), inventing snide new names for groups of things.	Stuart Segal	WOR	11	HTML
June 13, 1993	15	PUNCH US	Complete any of the provided jokes in 75 words or fewer.	Dan Thomas	JOK	12	HTML
June 20, 1993	16	I AM ADDICTED TO AN ASININE CONTEST…	Come up with sleazy new topics for the daytime talks.	Kitty Thuermer Mike Tidwell	CUL	13	HTML
June 27, 1993	17	REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM	Come up with an easy way to reduce the federal deficit, in 20 words or fewer.	Steven King	POL	14	HTML
July 4, 1993	18	PUNCH US IN THE EAR	Give us a motto for The Washington Post.	Susan Wenger	WAS	15	HTML
July 11, 1993	19	A RECYCLED IDEA THAT WAS NONE TOO GOOD TO BEGIN WITH	Alter a well-known phrase or name by deleting, adding or changing only one letter, and then supply a definition for what results.	Joseph H. Engel David J. Zvijac	LET WOR	16	HTML
July 18, 1993	20	COMIC RELIEF	Rewrite 60-year-old cartoons, filling in your own balloons, to make them funnier and more timely.	Tom Gearty	CAR	17	HTML
July 25, 1993	21	A SO-SO CONTEST	Describe somebody--or something--through exaggerated comparison.	Chuck Smith		18	HTML
August 1, 1993	22	STUMP US	Come up with slogans for the 1996 presidential campaign.	R. Sharp	POL	19	HTML
August 8, 1993	23	HAPPY ENDINGS	Modernize an old quote or expression by altering its ending.	Pamela Zilly	CUL	20	HTML
August 15, 1993	24	ASK BACKWARDS	You are on "Jeopardy!" Those are the answers. What are the questions?	Jacob Weinstein	JEO	21	HTML
August 22, 1993	25	CAPTION CRUNCH	Write a caption for any of these photos.	Fritz Stolzenback	CAP	22	HTML
August 29, 1993	26	CASTING ABOUT FOR AN IDEA	Name a political person (past or present) and the TV or movie role in which he or she could have been cast.	John Mazza	MOV POL TEL	23	HTML
September 5, 1993	27	IT'S THE EPONYMY, STUPID	Coin an eponym, a word or figure of speech based on the name of a famous person. You must define the word, and, if you wish, use it in a sentence.	Sharon Kuykendall	CUL	24	HTML
September 12, 1993	28	MOTHERS-IN-LAW OF INVENTION	Propose some drastic change in government to help the economy or otherwise improve the quality of life in America.	E. Gaston	POL	25	HTML
September 19, 1993	29	AD NAUSEAM	Come up with an unfortunate slogan for any real product, service, or organization.	Tom Gearty	SLO	26	HTML
September 26, 1993	30	THE RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD	Interpret any of the provided ink blots.	Steven King	ROR	27	HTML
October 3, 1993	31	INVITATION TO A DUAL	Divide the world into two types of people.	Chris Rooney		28	HTML
October 10, 1993	32	FATAL ART ATTACK	In 50 words or fewer, describe a performance art concept that might get public funding. Winners will be audacious enough to seem like art, but pretentious enough to seem to have a social "message."	Tom Gearty	ART	29	HTML
October 17, 1993	33	POST IMPRESSIONISM	Give us the opening lines of a big story from American history as it might have been written by someone whose work appears in The Washington Post. Maximum 100 words. You must choose one of three news stories: "Lincoln Assassinated," "Stock Market Crashes" or "Man Walks on Moon."	Stephen Licht	HIS	30	HTML
October 24, 1993	34	INSPECT A GADGET	What do these machines do?	Reef family	CAR	31	HTML
October 31, 1993	35	LIGHT AT THE END?	Tell the federal government what is should do with the 14-mile-long, 15-foot-diameter sausage-shaped tunnel it dug near Waxahachie, Tex., for the Superconducting Super Collider project that was scrapped by Congress last week.	Michael Sweet	POL	32	HTML
November 7, 1993	36	SCAM ON WRY	Come up with a prank you can play, for fun, profit, or deliverance of a well-needed comeuppance.	Kirby Lamb		33	HTML
November 14, 1993	37	A STATE OF DISGRACE?	Propose any of the following for D.C.: A State Name, A State Flower, A State Bird, A State Slogan, A State Capital, A Governor, An Insulting State Joke.	Peggy Hyde Gene Lawhun	WAS	34	HTML
November 21, 1993	38	ASK BACKWARDS II	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?	Tom Meyer	JEO	35	HTML
November 28, 1993	39	WAY OUTSIDE THE LINES	Name a new crayon color for the 1990s, with a description.	Paul Styrene	CUL	36	HTML
December 5, 1993	40	NOT WRONG. JUST INCORRECT.	What's next on the political correctness agenda?	Steven King	CUL	37	HTML
December 12, 1993	41	READ-END COLLUSION	Design a Style Invitational bumper sticker to be awarded to all Honorable Mentions.	Stephen Dudzik	BUM	38	HTML
December 19, 1993	42	HEY, IT COULD WE WORSE	There are worse things in life than the Washington Redskins. Just tell us what they are.	Mike Thring	WAS	39	HTML
December 26, 1993	43	GOOD LORD!	What does God look like?	Tom Gearty	REL	40	HTML
January 2, 1994	44	ADVERB PUBLICITY	Write us a Tom Swiftly or two, updated for the '90s. Each must include a reference to a famous person or institution.	St. Andrew's Episcopal School Mrs. Airey's English class	WOR CUL	41	HTML
January 9, 1994	45	INVITATION TO A DUAL, II.	Deliver us a Good News-Bad News scenarios.	Linda K. Malcolm		42	HTML
January 16, 1994	46	WE WANT STUPID ENTRIES ONLY	Make up a sentence that, were it not for this contest, would never be uttered.	Thomas Edward Knibb	STY	43	HTML
January 23, 1994	47	CAN YOU DO VERSE?	Bad Valentine's Day poetry. Any rhyme scheme, any form of literary dysfunction.	Michael Paulkovich	POE	44	HTML
January 30, 1994	48	SNIVEL WAR	Beg for the coveted Style Invitational T-shirts.	Daniel Riley	TSH	45	HTML
February 6, 1994	49	A SLALOM OCCASION	Come up with events for a Washington Olympics. They can be winter or summer sports, based on bureaucracy or other themes peculiar to Washington, and must include a brief description of the event.	Paul Styrene	WAS ATH	46	HTML
February 13, 1994	50	GIVE US THIS DAY	There are no holidays between Presidents' Day and Memorial Day, a cheerless run of more than three months. Let's stick one in there, somewhere. The holiday should celebrate something or someone uniquely America. Tell us the date, the name of the holiday and how it should be observed.	Laura M. Clairmont	CUL	47	HTML
February 20, 1994	51	CAPTION CRUNCH, VOL. II	Supply captions for any of these pictures.	Paul Kondis	CAP	48	HTML
February 27, 1994	52	PERJURED TESTIMONIALS	Come up with inappropriate celebrity endorsements for real products.	Chuck Smith		49	HTML
YEAR 2 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 6, 1994	53	CRUEL FETE	Tell us how the Invitational has changed America.	Paul Kondis	STY	50	HTML
March 13, 1994	54	ODD COUPLING	Write comical combinations of famous name, by marriage or other conceit.	Paul Sabourin		51
March 20, 1994	55	ESCAPE CLAUSES	Send us self-serving moral loopholes through which the enterprising 1990s transgressor can crawl.	Helen Sheingorn		52	HTML
March 27, 1994	56	DO THE HOOKY POKEY	Come up with inventive ways to call in sick or otherwise persuade your employer you must miss a day.	E. J. Wassmer		53	HTML
April 3, 1994	57	CALLING THE TOON	Who are these people, and what are they doing?	Peyton Coyner	CAR	54	HTML
April 10, 1994	58	PLAY IT AGAIN, DENZEL	Bring Casablanca into the 1990s. Write the opening of a plot outline, in 120 words or fewer.	David Laughton	MOV	55	HTML
April 17, 1994	59	A GRAVE AFFAIR	Write appropriate epitaphs for the not-yet-dead.	Ira P. Robbins	EPI	56	HTML
April 24, 1994	60	ASK BACKWARDS III	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Bruce Evans	JEO	57	HTML
May 1, 1994	61	NO HARD FEELINGS	Fill in the balloons in these cheerful farewell panels drawn by Marc Rosenthal, the Style Invitational artist who is being replaced by Bob Staake.	Chuck Smith	CAR	58	HTML
May 8, 1994	62	BAD NEWS BEARERS	Come up with statements one would not want to hear from friends, relatives, service personnel, etc.	Sarah Gaymon		59	HTML
May 15, 1994	63	BAD ABOUT YOU	Come up with a lame idea for a Style Invitational contest, an idea destined to create unfunny results.	Elden Carnahan	STY	60	HTML
THE SCREW-UP Week 64 inadvertently skipped
May 22, 1994	65	DESPERATELY SEEKING HUMOR	Write a personal ad. It may be for a celebrity or for anyone in need of adroit euphemism.	Nick Dierman	WOR	61	HTML
May 29, 1994	66	THE SON-OF-SMITH LAW	In 50 words or fewer, what do we do about the Chuck Smith problem?	Chuck Smith	STY	62
June 5, 1994	67	FAMOUS LAST WORDS	Make up the last words of famous dead people whose last words are unknown.	Peyton Coyner	EPI	63	HTML
June 12, 1994	68	GIVE US A SIGN	Come up with new astrological signs for the 1990s, together with one day's horoscope.	Christie Houser	CUL	65	HTML
June 19, 1994	69	LAYING DOWN THE LAW	Send us some exciting new principles that explain why things happen they way they happen.	Pat Scully	SCI	66	HTML
June 26, 1994	70	SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA	Come up with jokes based on noises.	Chuck Smith	JOK	67	HTML
July 3, 1994	71	CAPTION CRUNCH III	Come up with a new, funnier caption for any picture or illustration anywhere in today's newspaper.	Richard E. Brock Ellen Meyerson	CAP WAS	68	HTML
July 10, 1994	72	OH, HELL	Come up with the perfect vision of Hell for a famous person, living or dead.	Jackson Bross		69	HTML
July 17, 1994	73	LUNACY	Tell us what Neil Armstrong should have said upon stepping onto the moon's surface, instead of what he did, the greatest gaffe in the history of Historic Sayings.	Stuart Segal	HIS	70	HTML
July 24, 1994	74	SHIRT HAPPENS	In 10 words or fewer, what should the back of the "Year 2" T-shirt say?	Cindi Rae Caron	TSH	71	HTML
July 31, 1994	75	CURSES!	Come up with modern maledictions in the wise and entertaining Yiddish tradition.	Joseph Romm	LAN	72	HTML
August 7, 1994	76	ADIOS.	Tell us, in 40 words or fewer, what is great about August in Washington. It's August, and we're out of here.	Sue Witner	WAS	73	HTML
THE VACATION Column takes off three weeks
August 14, 1994
August 21, 1994
August 28, 1994
September 4, 1994	77	THE RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD II	What do these ink blots mean?	Dennis Goris	ROR	74	HTML
September 11, 1994	78	SEEKING SMART MORONS	Come up with an oxymoron for our times, an expression made bogus by the fact that it combines incompatible, contradictory ideas.	Jessica Mathews L. Woodall	WOR	75	HTML
September 18, 1994	79	TERROR-DACTYL	Send us a double dactyl. The first line must be a nonsense phrase of five to seven syllables containing exactly two downbeats. The second line must be a name, in five to seven syllables but only two downbeats. The remaining six lines must contain four to seven syllables and two downbeats each, with Lines 4 and 8 rhyming. Somewhere in the poem, one line must consist of only one word.	Kitty Thuermer	POE	76	HTML
September 25, 1994	80	NICK KNACKS	Come up with a great nickname for any contemporary celebrity.	Chuck Smith	CUL	77	HTML
October 2, 1994	81	HEADS, YOU LOSE	Take any two or more headlines anywhere in today's Washington Post, and combine them to make a funnier headline.	Dave Zarrow	HEA WAS	78	HTML
October 9, 1994	82	PICTURE THIS	Who are these people, and what are they doing?	Elden Carnahan	CAR	79	HTML
October 16, 1994	83	BEDROOM FARCE	What questions were left out of the Great American Sex Survey?	Robb Mathews	CUL	80	HTML
October 23, 1994	84	THE WASHINGTON IRVINGS	Come up with creative names for the high school football teams of real towns in America.	Karla J. Dickinson	ATH	81	HTML
October 30, 1994	85	PLAY MYTHTY FOR ME	Come up with new urban myths, those vaguely believable, wildly paranoid stories that circulate by word of mouth until they are generally accepted as true.	Ben Lea	CUL	82	HTML
November 6, 1994	86	EXCUSES, EXCUSES	Come up with funny excuses for various malfeasances.	Joseph Romm		83	HTML
November 13, 1994	87	WEST EASY, ANN	Come up with good things about West Virginia, in 50 words of fewer.	Dave Zarrow	POL	84	HTML
November 20, 1994	88	GIVE US SOME GOOD NEWS	Come up with ways things are going to be different now that Republicans have ascended to power.	Arthur Adams	POL	85	HTML
November 27, 1994	89	CHILD'S PLAY	Come up with bad ideas for new toys for the Christmas season.	Paul A. Alter	CUL	86	HTML
December 4, 1994	90	BILL US NOW	Come up with funny legislation based on the names of the 102 freshman congresspersons.	Jerry Pohl	LEG	87	HTML
December 11, 1994	91	ASK BACKWARD IV	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Chuck Smith	JEO	88	HTML
December 18, 1994	92	PLOTBOILERS	Tell us what excerpts from celebrities' novels might look like.	Robert Pack	LIT	89	HTML
December 25, 1994	93	I WANT THE MONGOOSE	Tell us, in 50 words or fewer, why you must have this elegant piece of taxidermy featuring a snake being killed by a mongoose.	Judith Daniel	STY	90	HTML
January 1, 1995	94	WEEKS 1-93	Come op with a great answer to any previous Style Invitational contest, an answer you may have thought of after the contest was over.	Gary McKethan	PRE	91	HTML
January 8, 1995	95	HOW'S THAT AGAIN?	Take any headline appearing anywhere in The Post this week and completely rewrite the first lines of the story to put a different, unintended spin on it.	Elden Carnahan	HEA	92
January 15, 1995	96	STICK IT IN YOUR ERA	Come up with a catch phrase for the 1990s.	Joseph Romm	CUL	93	HTML
January 22, 1995	97	NEWTONIAN PHILOSOPHY	Come up with more Newt Gingrich philosophy to explain the differences between men and women, Democrats and Republicans, dogs and cats, whatever needs explaining.	Greg Arnold	POL	94	HTML
January 29, 1995	98	YOUR CHEATIN' ART	Come up with titles for country music songs featuring any one or more of the following themes: cheatin', thievin', drinkin', truckin', lovin' or dogs.	Anthony Roisman Lois Roisman	MUS	95	HTML
February 5, 1995	99	WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PICTURES?	What's wrong with these pictures?	George Wills	CAR	96	HTML
February 12, 1995	100	THE JOKE'S ON YOU	Retell any of these jokes as they would be told by some celebrity, living or dead.	Paul Kondis	JOK	97	HTML
February 19, 1995	101	[deliberately left blank]	[deliberately left blank]	Allan Grady		98
February 26, 1995	102	HELP! I'M A PRISONER IN THIS CONTEST	Come up with fortune cookie messages that you would love to see, but never will.	Jon Patrick Smith		99	HTML
March 5, 1995	103	SEND HELP.	Come up with ways to raise some badly needed cash for the District of Columbia.	Jim Martin	WAS	100	HTML
YEAR 3 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 12, 1995	104	HERE, DOGGEREL	Create poems so bad they thud. The first line must be a name. The second line can be as long or as short as you wish. The third line must sound the same as the first line, using the name as a verb or some other part of speech.	Jessica Mathews	POE	101
March 19, 1995	105	WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?	Come up with Good Ideas and then convert them to Bad Ideas through slight changes in wording.	Ira Moskowitz		102	HTML
March 26, 1995	106	DRAWING CONCLUSIONS	Who are these people, and what are they doing?	Pete Clime	CAR	103	HTML
April 2, 1995	107	CLUSTERS' LAST STAND	Take an actual star cluster, redraw the lines into a different image, and give it a new name.	Joseph Romm David Smith	SCI	104	HTML
April 9, 1995	108	NEAR MISSES	Come up with the first drafts of great lines in history, entertainment or literature.	Joseph Romm	HIS CUL LIT	105	HTML
April 16, 1995	109	SEND US YOUR MAIL PARTS	We're looking for funny example of pidgin English that try to say one thing, but actually say something quite different.	Cissie Owen	LAN	106	HTML
April 23, 1995	110	DO NOT INHALE THIS PAGE	Come up with absurd warning labels that might be found on common products.	Elden Carnahan	CUL	107	HTML
April 30, 1995	111	ASK BACKWARDS V	Here are the answers. What are the questions?	Tom Witte	JEO	108	HTML
May 7, 1995	112	POOP FICTION	Come up with the opening lines of a book so bad it will compel you to stop reading immediately; maximum 50 words.	Kevin Mellema	LIT	109	HTML
May 14, 1995	113	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Take a list of horses nominated to the Triple Crown races this year, choose any two, and propose a name for their offspring.	Tom Witte	HOR	110	HTML
May 21, 1995	114	THE JOKE'S ON YOU	Come up with jokes to culminate in any of these six punch lines.	Greg Arnold Russell Beland Jerry Pannullo	JOK	111	HTML
May 28, 1995	115	THE MNEMONIC PLAGUE	Come up with new mnemonic devices to remember complicated lists.	Jacob Weinstein	WOR	112	HTML
June 4, 1995	116	WRITE PURE POETRY	Write a complete sentence using only the letters contained on the top row of a typewriter. Alternatively, you can use the letters of the first four lines of the standard eye chart.	Jennifer Hart	LET	113	HTML
June 11, 1995	117	GIVE 'EM HELOISE	Come up with a tribute to Heloise, that queen of inanely creative recycling.	Peyton Coyner Gene Van Pelt	CUL	114	HTML
June 18, 1995	118	WEAK 118	Take any photo caption or headline appearing anywhere in today's Post and alter its meaning by adding, deleting, or changing one letter.	Elden Carnahan	CAP HEA WAS	115
June 25, 1995	119	MUZAK TO OUR EAR	Come up with unfortunate Muzak songs to hear on the while on hold. You can use either a song title or a lyric.	Howard Tenenbaum	MUS	116	HTML
July 2, 1995	120	SIMILE OUTRAGEOUS	Come up with inept analogies, rotten comparisons as literary device.	Jeffrey Carl	ANL	117	HTML
July 9, 1995	121	IT'S NO USE	Come up with useless products.	Russell Beland	BUS	118	HTML
July 16, 1995	122	THE UNKINDEST CUTE OF ALL	Come up with a new story line for "Peanuts", some plot development of new character that will put the strip back on the road to relevance.	Sarah Gaymon	COM	119	HTML
July 23, 1995	123	WHY IS POOP FUNNY?	Come up with creative answers to any of the five questions above that might be asked by a 5-year-old.	Jill Gross		120	HTML
July 30, 1995	124	SPOON-FEED US.	Come up with spoonerisms, expressions based on the transposition of the initial sounds of two paired words.	Steven Papier	LET	121
August 6, 1995	125	ASK BACKWARD VI	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Elden Carnahan	JEO	122	HTML
August 13, 1995	126	EVERYBODY'S TALKIN'	What are these people, etc., saying or thinking?	Peyton Coyner	CAR	123	HTML
August 20, 1995	127	GADGET IF YOU CAN	Choose one or more of these devices and describe their use.	Kevin P. Riley	CAR	124	HTML
August 27, 1995	128	LIKE, DUH	Come up with snappy answers to stupid questions.	Phil Plait		125	HTML
September 3, 1995	129	REMAKE US HAPPY	Come up with alternative story lines to movie titles, new or old.	Sarah Gaymon Chuck Smith Tom Witte	MOV	126	HTML
September 10, 1995	130	NICELY STATED	Create a fictional city to be humorously paired with a real state abbreviation.	Tommy Litz	POL	127	HTML
September 17, 1995	131	DROODLEYSQUAT	Come up with "droodles," simple geometric drawings with funny explanations.	Sally Booher	ART	128	HTML
September 24, 1995	132	GIVE US THE BACKS OFF OUR SHIRTS.	What should our loser's T-shirt say on the back? Your goal is to somehow capture the spirit of the contest.	George C. Montgomery	TSH	129	HTML
October 1, 1995	133	LIKE, WOW.	Come up with funny analogies.	Michael Connaghan	ANL	130	HTML
October 8, 1995	134	A SIMPLE CLERIHEW ERROR	Revive clerihews. A clerihew is a biographical poem in four lines divided into tow rhyming couplets. The rhyme scene is aa bb. The first line of the clerihew must contain the name of the subject of the poem. The lines must be of disparate meter, the clunkier the better.	Jerry Belenker	POE	131	HTML
October 15, 1995	135	JERRY-BUILT SOLUTIONS	Come up with Seinfeld-isms: whiny, quirky musings on little questions of life.	Russell Beland		132	HTML
October 22, 1995	136	NEW END IN SIGHT	Come up with new endings to make literary classics more suitable for Hollywood in the 1990s.	Jerry Podlesak	MOV	133	HTML
October 29, 1995	137	VELVIS LIVES	Come up with a title and/or art gallery blurb for this velvet Elvis painting.	John Rather	ART	134	HTML
November 5, 1995	138	LIST BUT NOT LEAST	Come up with Top-10-style lists for any of the above four subjects.	Fred Dawson	CUL	135	HTML
November 12, 1995	139	EMPLOYMENT LINES	Come up with jobs that make even your crummy job seem good.	Virginia Maggi	BUS	136	HTML
November 19, 1995	140	WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY?	Come up "What-If" scenarios and logical outcomes.	Russell Beland	HIS	137	HTML
November 26, 1995	141	ASK BACKWARD VII	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Mark Goldenberg	JEO	138	HTML
December 3, 1995	142	EXHIBITING BAD TENDENCIES	Come up with the winner of next year's Turner Prize, which says its aim is to expand ideas of what is art.	Fred Dawson	ART	139	HTML
December 10, 1995	143	IT'S MY PARODY (& I'LL TRY IF I WANT TO)	Rewrite any common jingle of theme song in the style of famous writer.	David Smith	POE	140	HTML
December 17, 1995	144	JUST REBUS ALONE	Come up with a rebus, a phrase or sentence composed of letters, pictures, and symbols. Your entry must contain at least two pictures or illustrations from today's Washington Post.	Jonathan Paul	WAS	141	HTML
December 24, 1995	145	LOOIE, LOOIE	Come up with paired, themed ladies' room and men's room signs for various types of public places.	Susan Reese	CUL	142	HTML
December 31, 1995	146	IT'S LIKE THIS	Produce an A and B to complete the expression "A makes about as much sense as B."	Alan Evans	WOR	143	HTML
January 7, 1996	147	JUST FOR LIFFS	Come up original liffs, which identify a familiar, tantalizing concept with a word to define, it pairs it with a perfectly good by underutilized words that just loafs around on maps and street signs.	Dave Harstad	WOR	144	HTML
January 14, 1996	148	RORSCHACH OF THE CROWD IV	Interpret these ink blots.	Jennifer Hart	ROR	145	HTML
January 21, 1996	149	O, NO!	Come up with a palindrome, a line that reads the same backward and forward, and then use it as a punchline to a joke.	Dave Ferry	WOR	146	HTML
January 28, 1996	150	TRIAL BALLOONS	What are the people saying?	Rahul Simha	CAR	147	HTML
February 4, 1996	151	STRIP MINING	Come up with a concept for a new, controversial strip to replace an existing one in The Post.	Joseph Romm	COM WAS	148	HTML
February 11, 1996	152	WE ARE CURIOUS (YELLOW)	Take any headline in today's Washington Post and rewrite it in tabloid fashion so the story seems a lot more scandalous and/or lurid than it is.	Mike Hammer	HEA WAS CUL	149	HTML
February 18, 1996	153	STUMP US	Complete this sentence, "I should be elected President of the United States because…" and launch your campaign.	Dan Kravitz	POL	150	HTML
February 25, 1996	154	ENTER LAUGHING	Make up a knock-knock joke. The subject of the third line must be something crude, silly, or profound.	Kevin Cuddihy	JOK	151	HTML
March 3, 1996	155	COMPARISON SHOPPING	Explain the difference between any two of the above items.	Chuck Smith	DIF	152	HTML
YEAR 4 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 10, 1996	156	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE	Create new word by combining the first half of a hyphenated word with the second half of a hyphenated word. Both words must appear in the same story anywhere in today's Washington Post. Each entry must provide a definition for the newly created word.	Jean Sorensen	HYP WAS	153	HTML
March 17, 1996	157	WARNING SIGNS	Complete any of these "you might be about to" warning sentences.	Stephen Breton		154	HTML
March 24, 1996	158	SO SUE US	Come up with frivolous lawsuits.	Sue Lin Chong	CUL	155	HTML
March 31, 1996	159	ODDBALLS	Which item in each series does not belong? Explain your answer.	Christine Jackson		156
April 7, 1996	160	SEEKING WISE GUYS	Come up with cool new bad-guy terms.	Moe Hammond	WOR	157	HTML
April 14, 1996	161	CAPITOL MISTAKES	Come up with very, very bad advice for first-time visitors to Washington.	Phil Plait	WAS	158
April 21, 1996	162	MAY WE HAVE YOUR PRETENSION, PLEASE?	Come up with the most pretentious original sentence possible.	Tommy Litz		159	HTML
April 28, 1996	163	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Take the list of all 1996 Triple Crown nominees, couple up any two of them, and propose an appropriate name for their hypothetical foal. The foal's name must fit in no more than 18 characters, including spaces.	Russell Beland	HOR	160	HTML
May 5, 1996	164	MEAN MEANINGS	Translate things politicians say into what they really mean.	M. Schmidtman Tom Witte	POL	161	HTML
May 12, 1996	165	WHEEL OF TORTURE	Complete any of the provided "Wheel of Fortune" phrases.	Sarah Gaymon	WOR	162	HTML
May 19, 1996	166	DOO WAH DOODY	We are looking for really bad lyrics to real rock songs. Your lyrics must be from a reasonably popular song, and you must include the name of the singer or songwriter.	Carolyn Armstrong Scott Barney Don Beale Dave Ferry Jane Hanna Jessica Mathews Dean Meservy Arthur J. Murphy Steve Rouzer Sandy Tenenbaum Jeff Wadler Pam Wadler	POE MUS	163	HTML
May 26, 1996	167	CRAPSEY	Resurrect the "cinquain," a long-deceased poetic form, poems so ickily precocious and pretentious they make haiku look like Kipling. There are five lines, the first containing two syllables, the second containing four syllables, the third six, the fourth eight and the last, with grave finality and thunderous drama, only two. Your subject matter must be suitable for the 1990s.	Christine Tabbert	POE	164	HTML
June 2, 1996	168	LICENSE TO CARRY A PUN	Come up with original jokes like those provided.	Dave Zarrow	JOK	165	HTML
June 9, 1996	169	DIFF'RENT JOKES	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	David Smith	DIF	166	HTML
June 16, 1996	170	THE ELEMENTS OF SMILE	Why are these people smiling?	Ned Bent	CAR	167	HTML
June 23, 1996	171	ON SECOND THOUGHT	Ideas that never got off the drawing board, for good reason.	Jonathan Paul		168	HTML
June 30, 1996	172	POEDTRY	An entire poetic form, making its global debut in the Style Invitational. The first line must contain only six words of one syllable each; the second line, three words of two syllables each; the third line, two words of three syllables each, and the final line a single word of six syllables. At least two lines must rhyme. The general subject matter should be mundane.	Roger L. Browdy	POE	169	HTML
July 7, 1996	173	DEAD RECKONING	Propose a question that might be asked by a living celebrity to a famous dead person. You must name the living person, name the dead person, and tell us the question.	Ken Kaufman	CUL	170	HTML
July 14, 1996	174	THE EDGE OF MIGHT	Complete any of the four provided "you might" phrases.	Jon Miller Brian Thurber		171	HTML
July 21, 1996	175	FOSSIL FOOLS	What would aliens mistakenly conclude about us from any of the provided items?	Art Grinath	SCI	172	HTML
July 28, 1996	176	WRITE IN THE KISSER	In the style of any famous author, write a description of any one of these people: Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Prince Charles or Sylvester Stallone.	Kitty Thuermer		173	HTML
August 4, 1996	177	SOUNDS LIKE TROUBLE	Tell us what any of the provided sounds are.	Art Grinath		174	HTML
August 11, 1996	178	DEEP THROATS	Come up with Deep Thoughts, in the style of Jack Handey of "Saturday Night Live." A Deep Thought is a short, simple, seemingly inspirational observation that winds up being cynical, ironic, or just plain weird.	Joseph Romm		175	HTML
August 18, 1996	179	A CLOCKWORK, UM, UM, ... ER	Write single sentences containing no fewer than three examples of rhyming slang.	Roy Ashley Russell Beland Kevin Cuddihy Richard DeMello Stephen Dudzik Tom Green Mark Greenblatt Tommy Litz Jonathan Paul	POE	176	HTML
August 25, 1996	180	WHEN IN DOUBT, PUN	Take any headline in today's Post and improve it by somehow turning it into a pun.	Jennifer Hart Kate Renner	HEA WAS	177	HTML
September 1, 1996	181	YOU CAN TAKE IT TO DEBUNK	Take a common slogan or saying and prove it wrong with at least one example.	Chuck Smith	SLO	178	HTML
September 8, 1996	182	CAN YOU STOP THIS?	Come up with a conversation stopper, a line likely to end all further discourse, perhaps even empty a room.	Tom Henry		179	HTML
September 15, 1996	183	COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG II	Create hawkers' rhymes for modern-day occupations like lobbyists, lawyers, talk show hosts, actuaries, etc., at a maximum of four lines. It must contain at least one rhyme.	Elden Carnahan	POE	180	HTML
September 22, 1996	184	ED ANGUISH	Create an argument on some social issue, in 75 words or fewer, taking an extreme liberal view.	John Kammer	CUL	181	HTML
September 29, 1996	185	WONDERLUST	Come up with replacements for the Seven Wonders of the World. To qualify, an object must really exist, and be manmade and, in some way, awesome.	Don Maclean	HIS	182	HTML
October 6, 1996	186	CALLING THE TOON	Who are these people? What are they doing?	Philip Vitale	CAR	183	HTML
October 13, 1996	187	RACE TO THE FINISH LINE	In 75 words or fewer, continue in a productive fashion the story line of the provided real first lines of famous literary works.	Jonathan Paul Susan Reese	LIT	184	HTML
October 20, 1996	188	BLANKETY BLANKS	Complete any of the above sentences, substituting your own phrases for the well-known omitted words.	Joe Shepherd	WOR	185	HTML
October 27, 1996	189	YOU CAN PRANK ON IT	Come up with a hoax or prank that begins with any of the provided scenarios.	Paul Kondis Gary Lefkowitz		186	HTML
November 3, 1996	190	OFFICE YOU CAN'T REFUSE	Come up with a Principle for the Workplace.	John Kammer	BUS	187	HTML
November 10, 1996	191	GOING THROUGH A PHRASE	Come up with phrase for an American English phrasebook that would provide no practical help whatsoever to a foreigner tyring to get along in the United States.	Jacob Harley	CUL	188	HTML
November 17, 1996	192	HILL'S BILLS	Come up with bills any of the new members of Congress might jointly sponsor.	Tommy Litz	LEG	189	HTML
November 24, 1996	193	ASK BACKWARDS VIII	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?	John O'Brien Chuck Smith	JEO	190	HTML
December 1, 1996	194	ADVICE SQUAD	Answer any of the provided questions unwisely.	Art Grinath		191	HTML
December 8, 1996	195	THE MARTHIAN CHRONICLES	Come up with items for Martha Stewart's December-January calendar of projects.	Stephen Dudzik	CUL	192	HTML
December 15, 1996	196	YOU MUST BE MAD	Come up with a contemporary Scene We'd Like to See.	Art Grinath Bob Kulawiec		193	HTML
December 22, 1996	197	DAVE'S WORLD	Make David Twenhafel laugh. Any sort of delightful drollery or amusing witticism will do, so long as it is not the sort of lowbrow fare we usually favor.	Jennifer Hart	STY	194	HTML
December 29, 1996	198	YOU MUST BE MAD II	Come up with proposals designed to infuriate special interest groups.	Bob Sorensen	POL CUL	195	HTML
January 5, 1997	199	WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	Rob Klotz	DIF	196	HTML
January 12, 1997	200	CAPTION CRUNCH IV	Supply a new caption to any photograph appearing anywhere in today's Post, to make it funnier.	Jessica Mathews	CAP	197	HTML
January 19, 1997	201	THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE	Come up with a new element and its symbol, and provides a brief description of its chemical or physical properties.	Irwin Singer	SCI	198	HTML
January 26, 1997	202	THE ELEMENTS OF SMILE	Interpret any of the provided computer emoticons, or "smileys."	Alex Neill		199	HTML
February 2, 1997	203	CAN IT GET MUCH VERSE?	Create Very Bad Poetry, containing banalities masquerading as profundities, overstretch metaphors, etc. Special attention should be paid to dreadful syntax and painful rhyme	Charlie Steinhice	POE	200	HTML
February 9, 1997	204	DOUBLE EXPRESSO	Take any well-known colorful expression, and modernize it.	Maja Keech	CUL	201	HTML
February 16, 1997	205	SOME PIG	Beg for the prize: convince us why you, and you alone, deserve to get it.	Jon Williams	STY	202	HTML
February 23, 1997	206	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE II	Create a new word by combining the first half of any hyphenated word in today's newspaper with the second half of any other hyphenated word elsewhere in the same story, and supply a definition.	Tom Witte	HYP	203
March 2, 1997	207	TIED TO BE FIT	Each of the eight provided items is related, in some fashion, to one or more of the provided individuals. You make the connections.	David Genser	CUL	204	HTML
YEAR 5 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 9, 1997	208	SEND IN THE CLONES	Suggest question a commission to investigate the moral, legal and practical question raised by cloning might consider.	Joan Schloo	POL REL SCI	205	HTML
March 16, 1997	209	WE NEED SOME SEASONING	Come up with the first signs of spring in Washington.	Tommy Litz	WAS	206	HTML
March 23, 1997	210	RANDOM MEMO	Supply embarrassing "While You Were Out" phone messages that might be left for famous people, in plain sight, while they are away from their desks.	Art Grinath	CUL	207	HTML
March 30, 1997	211	GIVE US THE BACKS OFF YOUR SHIRTS	Design the back of the fourth Style Invitational T-shirt, with anything that captures the transcendent indignity of this contest.	Craig Ulander	TSH	208	HTML
April 6, 1997	212	DUMB AS THE POST	Come up with even stupider crimes than those committed by Montgomery County's "gentleman burglars."	Sandra Hull		209	HTML
April 13, 1997	213	A SIN OF THE TIMES	Submit campaign or other political practices that would be illegal and/or unethical.	Bill Moulden	POL	210	HTML
April 20, 1997	214	ASK BACKWARDS IX	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are your answers. What are the questions?	Greg Arnold	JEO	211	HTML
April 27, 1997	215	SON OF A PITCH	Write lavish blurbs in 50 words or fewer so some sucker will want to pay a lot of money for the provided items.	Jerry Pannullo	WOR	212	HTML
May 4, 1997	216	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Pair up any two of the 400-plus horses who have qualified for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their foal, in a maximum of 18 characters, including spaces.	Larry Marcus	HOR	213	HTML
May 11, 1997	217	NO QUESTION ABOUT IT	Come up with truly stupid questions.	Edith Eisenberg	QUE	214	HTML
May 18, 1997	218	CALLING THE TOON	Who are these people? What are they doing?	Dave Yourell	CAR	215	HTML
May 25, 1997	219	VERBOSITY	Come up with new, obnoxious, self-conscious faux verbs and use them in sentences.	Russell Beland	WOR	216	HTML
June 1, 1997	220	RSVP	Provide and answer to any of the dumb questions from Week 217.	David Kleinbard	QUE	217	HTML
June 8, 1997	221	SONG SUNG BROWN	Pick any song, pick a well-known line, and give us the discarded first draft. If it is part of a rhyme, you must maintain the rhyme.	Lily Fu Swenson	POE MUS	218	HTML
June 15, 1997	222	TRIP DEUCES	Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form.	Robin Grove	WOR	219	HTML
June 22, 1997	223	ATTEMPTING REENTRY	Submit entries to any past contest, so long as you never submitted them before.	Chuck Smith	PRE	220	HTML
June 29, 1997	224	DRAWING CONCLUSIONS	What is wrong with these pictures?	Dan Kaplan	CAR	221	HTML
July 6, 1997	225	WE RESPECTfully decline to publish any dumb entries by YOU.	Come up with signs for a T-shirt of a bumper sticker that hide the real message in tiny type.	Dan Kaplan Tom Witte	TSH	222	HTML
July 13, 1997	226	GOING WITHOUT	Complete some variation of the expression "An A without a B is like a C without a D."	Jonathan Paul	WOR	223	HTML
July 20, 1997	227	WILD PITCHES	Come up worthy successors to Joe Camel. Name the product, and describe the totally inappropriate cartoon character that would be created represent it.	Dave Ferry	CAR	224	HTML
July 27, 1997	228	MAKE MY DAY	Supply advice to today's spoiled kids about how bad things were when we were growing up.	Barry Blyveis	CUL	225	HTML
August 3, 1997	229	WE CAN'T HEAR YOU	Supply an example for any of the five "Things you don't want to hear" categories provided.	Jennifer Hart		226	HTML
August 10, 1997	230	TALES FROM THE CRYPTOGRAM	Take any proper noun--a person, a book, a movie, whatever--and create for it an appropriate cryptogram.	Don Juran	LET	227	HTML
August 17, 1997	231	GIVING QUARTER	Suggest a motto for the "tails" side of any of the state-themed quarters.	Barry Blyveis	SLO	228	HTML
August 24, 1997	232	PRIMAL URGES	Update, for the millennium, the old "A is for Apple" reading primer. An entry must include the four letters in one of these blocks: A-D, E-H, I-L, M-P, Q-T, U-Z.	Jacob Weinstein	LET	229	HTML
August 31, 1997	233	SEEKING PARODY	Take any paragraph appearing on Page A1 of today's Washington Post, and rewrite it in the style of any famous writer.	Phil Frankenfeld	WAS LIT	230	HTML
September 7, 1997	234	THE JOKE'S ON YOU	Complete any of the provided jokes as it would be told by someone famous, living or dead.	Stephen A. Simon	JOK	231	HTML
September 14, 1997	235	ROOTS	Make up historical explanations--they should be vaguely plausible--for the etymology of any term you wish. The term should be the punch line.	Sue Lin Chong	HIS WOR	232	HTML
September 21, 1997	236	CALLING THE TOON.	What is happening here?	Hank Wallace	CAR	233	HTML
September 28, 1997	237	ASK BACKWARD	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Bob Dalton	JEO	234	HTML
October 5, 1997	238	CHALK IT UP TO STUPIDITY	Propose apologies for yourself in the style of Bart Simpson writing on his blackboard.	Jennifer Hart		235	HTML
October 12, 1997	239	NAME THAT TOON	Send us the captions for cartoons not provided.	Jennifer Hart	CAR	236	HTML
October 19, 1997	240	ADDING INSULT	Come up with elegant insults directed at any famous person, living or dead, such as the real encomiums above.	Phil Frankenfeld		237	HTML
October 26, 1997	241	CAN YOU BEAT THIS?	Come up with headlines describing the defeat of one pro team by another.	David Genser	HEA	238	HTML
November 2, 1997	242	SACRED COW PIES	Take cheap shots at sacred institutions only, places and things that are so noble and wholesome they are beyond reproach, from among the items provided.	Charlie Steinhice	POL CUL REL	239
November 9, 1997	243	VERSE THAN EVER	Write a rhyming poem of two to eight lines as a tribute to someone famous who died in 1997, the more awful the better. We will particularly value rhymes that thud, and extremes of emotion and sentiment.	Charlie Steinhice	POE	240	HTML
November 16, 1997	244	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE	Coin new words, and provide a definition, by combining the first half of a hyphenated word for any story in today's Post with the second half of another hyphenated word in the same story.	Robin Grove	HYP	241	HTML
November 23, 1997	245	LIKE FUN	Complete any of the provided "A is like B because" sentences.	Dave Ferry	WOR	242	HTML
November 30, 1997	246	OUR OWN DEVICES	What do these contraptions do? Tell us in 50 words or fewer.	Chuck Smith	CAR	243	HTML
December 7, 1997	247	BLACK AND WHITE AND WED ALL OVER	Propose the marriage of any two people, and the song they should not play at their wedding. The people must be a man and a woman.	Chuck Smith	MUS	244	HTML
December 14, 1997	248	STICKER SCHLOCK	Come up with a message for our new, mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper sticker, something that summarizes the grandeur and dignity of this stupid contest.	Brian Broadus	BUM	245	HTML
December 21, 1997	249	BAD NEWS, GOOD NEWS	Supply a silver lining for any scourge or social ill facing America or the world.	Tom Witte	CUL POL	246	HTML
December 28, 1997	250	OH, GREAT	Complete the sentence "Wouldn't it be great if …"	Barry Blyveis	WOR	247	HTML
January 4, 1998	251	QUOTH THE MAVEN	Take any famous line, change it by one letter only (add, subtract or change a single letter), and reattribute it.	Meredith Robinson	LET	248	HTML
January 11, 1998	252	MAKE YOUR MOVIE	Propose people who were the secret inspiration for famous movies.	Charlie Steinhice	MOV	249	HTML
January 18, 1998	253	IT'S A PITY	Enter any of the provided contests. Winners will be judged entirely on the basis of how pitiful an attempt at humor the entry is.	David Sherman	PRE	250	HTML
January 25, 1998	254	DOUBLE JEOPARDY!	Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post, and make up a question to which it could be a plausible answer.	David Genser	WAS QUE	251	HTML
February 1, 1998	255	SCANDAL IN THE WIND	Each of the provided items is somehow related to the current presidential scandal. Tell us how.	Drew Knoblauch	POL	252	HTML
February 8, 1998	256	THE PYLE INVITATIONAL	Come up with hip, contemporary riddles and answers. The punch line must contain a painful pun.	Dave Ferry Chuck Smith	JOK	253	HTML
February 15, 1998	257	LET US PLAY	Create a game, or a prank, that can be played using any two or more of the provided objects.	Tom Witte		254	HTML
February 22, 1998	258	IT'S A BIRD. IT'S A PAIN.	Choose one or more of the provided super powers and tell us what you would do with it.	Christina Courtney		255	HTML
March 1, 1998	259	SPARE EXCHANGE, BUDDY?	Take any phone number of any business or government office in the Washington area, translate the first two digits into their constituent letters and propose any appropriate one-word exchange.	Elden Carnahan	LET POL BUS	256	HTML
YEAR 6 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 8, 1998	260	IT'S A SNAP	Come up with replacements for the two hackneyed answers: "Is the Pope Catholic?" and "When Hell freezes over."	Sue Lin Chong	JOK	257	HTML
March 15, 1998	261	WHAT IF YOU GIVE IT A TRY II	Alter some crucial moment in history, and then tell us the likely outcome.	Andrew B. Gibson	HIS	258	HTML
March 22, 1998	262	CAMPAIGN FOR ONE	Design a line for Niels Hoven to deliver in his campaign for a student government office that will wake up a snoozing audience.	Jonathan Paul	POL	259
March 29, 1998	263	THE GAME OF THE NAME	Propose a bad name for the provided categories.	Erica Magram	WOR	260	HTML
April 5, 1998	264	ASK BACKWARDS	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?	Sue Lin Chong	JEO	261	HTML
April 12, 1998	265	A SPORK OF GENIUS	Come up with new products like the spork: combinations of two existing products that work together in some special way. Name the device and explain its function.	T. J. Murphy	BUS	262	HTML
April 19, 1998	266	DEFINITELY WEIRD	Take any word from the dictionary and redefine it.	Jacob Weinstein	WOR	263	HTML
April 26, 1998	267	THE CONCEPT CONCEPT	Come up with a situation for a "People Unclear on the Concept" cartoon. Describe the situation and supply any necessary dialogue.	John B. Allen	CAR	264	HTML
May 3, 1998	268	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Take the names of this year's Triple Crown nominees, mate any two of them, a propose a name for the foal. The foal's name must be contained in 18 characters, including spaces.	Chris Kaufman	HOR	265	HTML
May 10, 1998	269	SIGNS, AND THE TIMES	Come up with new, helpful signage for downtown streets. You must state the problem, and propose the sign to rectify it.	David Litman	CUL POL	266	HTML
May 17, 1998	270	PALINODE--HAVE PUN, WILL TRAVEL	Write a "palinode", retracting something said in an earlier poem. Your poem must be four lines long and contain at least one rhyme.	Jon Chananie	POE	267	HTML
May 24, 1998	271	YOGI BEARER	Come up with new Yogi-isms, which seem to make sense, but collapse like a souffle when you poke it a little	Phil Frankenfeld	WOR	268	HTML
May 31, 1998	272	PICTURE THIS	What is happening in these cartoons?	Edward Mickolus	CAR	269	HTML
June 7, 1998	273	UNSEENS WE'D LIKE TO SEE	Provide examples of any of the provided categories of thing that will never happen.	E. J. Lloyd		270	HTML
June 14, 1998	274	THE DROLL OF A LIFETIME	Be the New Yorker comics editor, and explain to readers of The Washington Post why the provided jokes are charmingly witty.	Sandra Hull	WAS	271	HTML
June 21, 1998	275	THERE ONCE WAS CONTEST FROM NANTUCKET …	Write a limerick in which the first line is about someone who comes from some place in the Washington area.	Courtney Knauth	LIM WAS	272	HTML
June 28, 1998	276	SPIT THE DIFFERENCE	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	Russell Beland	DIF	273	HTML
July 5, 1998	277	LIFE IN THE BLURBS	Come up a simple plot summary to help attract the modern audience to any classic work of fiction. It must be literally true and defensible.	Elden Carnahan	LIT	274	HTML
July 12, 1998	278	THE STALE INVITATIONAL	Begin with a word. Add, subtract or change a single letter only, and then provide a new definition.	Tom Witte	LET	275	HTML
July 19, 1998	279	TREACLE-DOWN THEORY	Come up with a treacly and deeply moving piece of crap. It must somehow mine joy and goopy inspiration from the vicissitudes of life. It must also rhyme.	Niels Hoven	POE	276	HTML
July 26, 1998	280	EXPRESSING IT NICELY	Come up with colorful expressions for any of the six provided activities, to make them sound a little less tawdry.	Joe Kobylski	WOR	277	HTML
August 2, 1998	281	CALCULATE THE ODDS	Tell us which of the two provided items does not belong with the other two, and why.	J. Larry Schott	DIF	278	HTML
August 9, 1998	282	TAKING SNIDES	Take any story anywhere in today's Post and append to it a single snide observation, concerning either the headline or the text of the story.	Ralph Scott	WAS	279	HTML
August 16, 1998	283	UH-OH	Come up with "uh-oh" lines, statements that occur in the middle of a seemingly benign speech or conversation, suddenly alerting the listener that he is about to hear some bad news.	Philip Vitale		280	HTML
August 23, 1998	284	ASK BACKWARDS MCLXVII	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Jami Cashell	JEO	281	HTML
August 30, 1998	285	ELEVENIS, ANYTWO?	Take a common phrase containing a specific number, add or subtract one, and explain the revised phrase.	Joseph Romm		282	HTML
September 6, 1998	286	CLINTOONS	Make your own Clintoon, a comic strip consisting of any or all of the provided drawings.	Meg Sullivan	CAR	283	HTML
September 13, 1998	287	BEFORE AND AFTERMATH	Begin with a real name, append to it a word, name or expression that completes the bridge, and finally define the resulting phrase.	Douglas Riley	WOR	284	HTML
September 20, 1998	288	PICTURE THIS	What is happening in these pictures?	Jonathan Paul	CAR	285	HTML
September 27, 1998	289	PLAY IT AGAIN, SHAM	Submit entries to any previous contest, ideas you might have thought of after the contest deadline had passed.	Joseph Romm	PRE	286	HTML
October 4, 1998	290	THE WORLD THEORIES	Codify some of life's more populist theories.	Chuck Smith	CUL	287	HTML
October 11, 1998	291	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE	Take any story in today's paper, find a word that breaks with a hyphen at the end of a line, and combine it with the second half of different hyphenated word in the same story. Then supply a definition for the new hybrid word.	Susan Reese	HYP	288	HTML
October 18, 1998	292	PAYING THE BILL	Propose appropriate punishments for President Clinton.	Art Grinath	POL	289	HTML
October 25, 1998	293	THE VERSE OF AMERICA	Take any story in today's Washington Post and create a poem or song by stringing together various phrases from that story. Each phrase must be a least two words long.	Greg Arnold	POE	290	HTML
November 1, 1998	294	PRODUCT LIARBILITY	Take the name of any commercial product and redefine it.	J. Larry Schott	BUS	291	HTML
November 8, 1998	295	PANEL DISCUSSION	Supply the contents the missing panel in the provided cartoon strips.	David Genser	CAR	292	HTML
November 15, 1998	296	BILL US LATER	Choose among the names of any of the newly elected U.S. senators or representatives and propose a bill they might sponsor.	Mike Genz	LEG	293	HTML
November 22, 1998	297	FREE FOR OIL	Take any article in today's paper, and write an outraged letter to the editor about it that totally misses the point, either by misreading a word or misunderstanding the topic.	David Genser	WAS CUL POL REL	294	HTML
November 29, 1998	298	THE RIGHT STUFF	Write a sentence, or phrase, or entire passage, using only your right hand on the keyboard. This means who may use no keys to the left of N, H, Y and 7.	Barbara Collier	LET	295	HTML
December 6, 1998	299	ANOTHER LEFTIST RAG	Write the day's tabloid headlines with your left hand only. (This means you can use no keys to the right of 6, T, G and B.)	Eric Lenning	LET	296	HTML
December 13, 1998	300	A BRAND NEW CONTEST	Come up with celebrity-brand products.	Elden Carnahan	BUS	297	HTML
December 20, 1998	301	PICTURE THIS	What is happening in these cartoons?	Jonathan Paul	CAR	298	HTML
December 27, 1998	302	UNSTATED TRUTHS	Come up with lines that you'll never hear the provided people say.	Beverly Miller		299	HTML
January 3, 1999	303	BOOM TIMES	Come up with old and new concerns for the baby boom generation.	Elden Carnahan	CUL	300	HTML
January 10, 1999	304	TIME OF THE SIGNS	Come up with appropriate signage to appear outside any business or retail establishment in the Washington area, including government offices.	David Genser	WAS BUS POL	301	HTML
January 17, 1999	305	ASK BACKWARDS CMXVI2	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Stephen Dudzik	JEO	302	HTML
January 24, 1999	306	YOUNGIAN THERAPY	Suggest ways in which the Style Invitational or any other Washington area institution can become more relevant to younger people.	Meg Sullivan	WAS STY CUL	303	HTML
January 31, 1999	307	IF YOU BOYCOTT THIS TASK / YOU WON'T WIN THE FLASK	Come up with rhyming couplets to warn us about the perils of modern life.	Howard Walderman	POE CUL	304	HTML
February 7, 1999	308	GIVE US NO MO	Write an update version of those old children's selecting rhymes. Your rhyme must (1) rhyme and (2) conform, at least loosely, to a point-and-shoot cadence that permits the elimination of one item from a group.	David Genser	POE	305	HTML
February 14, 1999	309	A STINKING PILE OF THESES	Write an all-purpose first line or paragraph for any doctoral dissertation, design to impress the heck out of academics.	David Genser	CUL	306	HTML
February 21, 1999	310	IT'S LIKE THIS	Come up with really lame analogies.	J. F. Knowles	ANL	307	HTML
February 28, 1999	311	A JERRY-BUILT CONTEST	Find cleverly disguised threats to public morality or hallowed American values that may be secretly lurking out there in our culture.	Joseph Romm	CUL POL	308	HTML
YEAR 7 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 7, 1999	312	BOOKS AND BOOKS	Combine any two works of literature--no movies or TV--into one, give its title and describe it in a brief, appealing blurb that might appear in Publishers' Weekly.	Mike Long	LIT	309	HTML
March 14, 1999	313	THE STYLE INVITATIONAL SOUVENIR SHOP	Come up with bad names for a new store at a mall.	Brian Broadus	WOR BUS	310	HTML
March 21, 1999	314	IT'S THE LIST YOU CAN DO	Start with the name of a famous person, living or dead, real or fictional, either a full name or partial name. Progress through a series other names or phrases. Each name or phrase must be related to the prior item either by being a homophone or a definition. Eventually, arrive at a name or a phrase that is an appropriate pairing with the original name.	Elisa Nichols		311	HTML
March 28, 1999	315	FERMENTING TROUBLE	Write a rhyming poem, eight lines maximum, on the subject of cheese or any of the provided items.	Niels Hoven	POE	312	HTML
April 4, 1999	316	CALLING THE TOON	What are these things?	Jennifer Hart Sandra Hull	CAR	313	HTML
April 11, 1999	317	PICK US A WINNER	Come up with flawed contest ideas, and the single, obvious, too-good-to-beat entry.	Chuck Smith	STY	314	HTML
April 18, 1999	318	HYPHEN THE TERRIBLE	Combine the first half of any hyphenated word in a story in today's paper with the second part of a different hyphenated word from the same story, and provide a new definition.	Chuck Smith	HYP	315	HTML
April 25, 1999	319	REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY	Create an original chiasmus, an ancient literary form in which meaning is derived by pairing two words or phrases, and then reversing their order.	Craig McGowan	WOR	316	HTML
May 2, 1999	320	WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces.	Dante D. Bruno	HOR	317	HTML
May 9, 1999	321	INTERPRET THIS	Take any of the provided cartoon and come up with a matched pair of interpretations for what is happening.	Art Grinath	CAR	318	HTML
May 16, 1999	322	YOU NAME IT	Take a well known pair or group of names, extend one of them in some manner, and explain how the group dynamic changes.	Tom Glynn		319	HTML
May 23, 1999	323	THE CONGRESSIONAL RECORD INVITATIONAL	Come up with not-quite-ready inventions, past or present.	Brian Broadus	SCI BUS	320	HTML
May 30, 1999	324	A PREQUEL OPPORTUNITY OFFERING	Come up with a "prequel" to some classic film or work of literature. You must produce a title and a brief plot summary, which or course must take place prior to the main action of the original work.	Aaron Kravitz	MOV	321	HTML
June 6, 1999	325	THE BURMA ROAD	Propose welcoming doggerel for states or cities patterned after Burma Shave signs.	Stephen Dudzik	POE	322	HTML
June 13, 1999	326	COMIC RELIEF	Look at today's comics pages, select one panel and one panel only from any comic strip, and rewrite the dialogue.	David Genser	COM	323	HTML
June 20, 1999	327	ASK BACKWARDS	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	David Genser	JEO	324	HTML
June 27, 1999	328	NICE CAPADES	Send in some pleasant observation, in which you take a really cheerful or heartwarming view of something that less charitable people might conceivably see differently.	Janet Arrowsmith-Love		325	HTML
July 4, 1999	329	THE STYLE INVITATIONAL: HELL	Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message. You may add spacing and punctuation, but you may not move letters around.	Chrissy Haynes Russell Haynes	LET	326	HTML
July 11, 1999	330	NERD PLANET FROM THE SUN	Come up with comments from the Nerd Side even less interesting than the observation that the 21st century doesn't really start until 2001.	Marcia Reecer		327	HTML
July 18, 1999	331	DRAWING ON CREATIVITY	Come up with an idea for a fictional central character for a comic strip based in Washington, D.C., and the environs. Describe your character in as much detail as you wish, and give the strip a name.	Elden Carnahan Joyce Rains	WAS COM	328	HTML
July 25, 1999	332	AUTHORS IN SEARCH OF A CHARACTER	Come up with a three- or four-panel cartoon about any of the winning characters from Week 332.	David Genser Art Grinath Chuck Smith Meg Sullivan	COM	329	HTML
August 1, 1999	333	GET A LOAD OF THIS TA-TA	Submit episodes for the three winning strips from Week 331. There is no next week's contest.	Chuck Smith	COM	330, 332
THE SABBATICAL The Czar claims he is being sent on a secret half-year assignment, and that the Invitational may return with a new, invigorated format yet to be determined. When the column resumed, the Czar began to use Roman numerals for the Weeks. He abandoned this scheme at the beginning of Year 11, resuming traditional numbering as if there had been no break.
YEAR 8 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
August 8, 1999
August 15, 1999
August 22, 1999
August 29, 1999
September 5, 1999
September 12, 1999
September 19, 1999
September 26, 1999
October 3, 1999
October 10, 1999
October 17, 1999
October 24, 1999
October 31, 1999
November 7, 1999
November 14, 1999
November 21, 1999
November 28, 1999
December 5, 1999
December 12, 1999
December 19, 1999
December 26, 1999
January 2, 2000
January 9, 2000
January 16, 2000
January 23, 2000
January 30, 2000	334 (I)	The New Style Invitational: Six Choice for Czar	Vote for one of six possible editors of the Style Invitation, from among the current Czar and five worthy competitors.	Jonathan Paul	STY		HTML
February 6, 2000	335 (II)	A LOVER'S SPAT	Enter the contest that is run by the editor of your choice.	Ben F. Noviello	STY		HTML
February 13, 2000	336 (III)	THE "STY"LE INVITATIONAL	Choose any word and emphasize a single part of it, as though you were saying the word out loud with "air quotes" around the key part. Then redefine the word. You cannot alter the spelling of the word.	Elden Carnahan Tom Witte	WOR	334, 335	HTML
February 20, 2000	337 (IV)	DEGREES OF DIFFICULTY	Take a quality you wish to quantify and devise the perfect icon to measure it. Then give us an example of the extremes.	Elden Carnahan		334	HTML
February 27, 2000	338 (V)	WHO WANTS TO WIN A TOILET?	Propose even greater depths of shameless, tasteless sleaze to which Fox TV is likely to sink after the noisome debacle of "Who Wants to Marry and Multi-Millionaire?"	Greg Pearson	TEL	335	HTML
March 5, 2000	339 (VI)	Campaignful Developments	Come up with signs that a presidential campaign might be in trouble.	Kelli Midgley	POL	336	HTML
March 12, 2000	340 (VII)	ASK BACKWARDS 12	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. What are the questions?	Sandra Hull	JEO	336	HTML
March 19, 2000	341 (VIII)	What's In a Name?	Write something about any famous person that uses only the letters in his or her name.	Richard Grossman	LET	337	HTML
March 26, 2000	342 (IX)	Plainly Ridiculous	Take any direct quotation from any article in today's Washington Post and translate it into "plain English."	Martin Bredeck	WAS	338	HTML
April 2, 2000	343 (X)	Eastwood Ho.	Create a Good-Bad-Ugly progression.	Teen Sheng	WOR	339	HTML
April 9, 2000	344 (XI)	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Envision the mating of any two of the 387 horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown, and propose a name for their foal. The foal's name must be contained in 18 or fewer letters and spaces.	T. J. Murphy	HOR	340	HTML
April 16, 2000	345 (XII)	Picture This	What is going on in these cartoons?	David Genser	CAR	341	HTML
April 23, 2000	346 (XIII)	Greasy Kids Tough	Take any news event from history, recent of ancient, large or small, and rewrite it in 100 words or fewer as it might have appeared in KidsPost.	Mary Lou French	HIS	342	HTML
April 30, 2000	347 (XIV)	Capital Pun-ishment	Take an expression, or a lyric for a song, or any recognizable line of prose, and make it the punchline of an awful pun.	Bill Strider	JOK LIT	343	HTML
May 7, 2000	348 (XV)	When We're LXIV	Fashion an entry by selecting one from each of the provided menu groups.	Mike Elliott		344	HTML
May 14, 2000	349 (XVI)	Orienting Oneself	Produce a haiku using only words found in today's Washington Post. Your entry must have three lines, the first containing exactly five syllables, the second containing exactly seven syllables, the third containing exactly five.	David Genser	POE	345	HTML
May 21, 2000	350 (XVII)	Employing Irony	Propose bad career choices.	David Genser		346	HTML
May 28, 2000	351 (XVIII)	Dubya Fun	Take any well-known statement, expression, slogan, etc., and rewrite it the way Dubya might have said it.	Jonathan Paul	POL	347	HTML
June 4, 2000	352 (XIX)	A Laff Riot	Take the name of a company and/or its commercial product and provide it a new definition.	Jennifer Nelson	BUS	348	HTML
June 11, 2000	353 (XX)	Patently Silly	What do these devices do?	Jean Sorensen	CAR	349	HTML
June 18, 2000	354 (XXI)	Everyone's a Critic	Adopt the style of a famous writer and review any of the provided dishes.	Phil Frankenfeld	LIT	350	HTML
June 25, 2000	355 (XXII)	Seeing Stars	Tell us ways we can attract celebrity participation to this contest.	Jacob Weinstein	STY	351	HTML
July 2, 2000	356 (XXIII)	Med Icks	Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat.	Chester Myslicki	SCI	352	HTML
July 9, 2000	357 (XXIV)	Coming to a Bad End	Take some immortal line from literature or film and ruin it by adding a short phrase or sentence.	Joseph Romm	MOV	353	HTML
July 16, 2000	358 (XXV)	Finish the Fire	Finish "We Didn't Start the Fire," to summarize 1990 to the present.	Chris Doyle	MUS	354	HTML
July 23, 2000	359 (XXVI)	It's No Party	Come up with a new political party and its main political tenet.	Jonathan Paul	POL	355	HTML
July 30, 2000	360 (XXVII)	No Competition	Create a list of 25 names, each linked in some way to the name before, and you must begin and end with Mary Ann Madden.	Chris Doyle		356	HTML
August 6, 2000	361 (XXVIII)	Bad Libs	Select one subject, one verb, and one object from the provided lists, and then answer the riddle you create.	Edward Asher	WOR JOK	357	HTML
August 13, 2000	362 (XXIX)	Something Missing	Tell us what is missing in each of the provided cartoons.	Sam Rosenberg	CAR	358	HTML
August 20, 2000	363 (XXX)	It's Your Movie	Take the title of any movie and make it the answer to a riddle.	David Genser	MOV JOK	359	HTML
August 27, 2000	364 (XXXI)	Low Marks	Come up with a new punctuation mark. Tell us what it looks like, and what it is used for, and use it in a sentence.	Bob Dalton		360	HTML
September 3, 2000	365 (XXXII)	Terse Verse	Ask a question and then answer it with a rhyme. Your answer can be as many words as you wish, but all must have the same rhyme.	David Genser	POE	361	HTML
September 10, 2000	366 (XXXIII)	Just Fulghum	Come up with a list of at least three Major Life Lessons one can learn from any of the venues provided.	Martin Bredeck	CUL	362	HTML
September 17, 2000	367 (XXXIV)	Future Schlock	Come up with a line that will surely not appear in an upcoming work.	Chuck Smith	LIT	363	HTML
September 24, 2000	368 (XXXV)	Hyphen the Terrible	Combine the first half of any hyphenated word in a story in today's paper with the second part of a different hyphenated word from the same story, and provide a new definition.	Chris Doyle	HYP	364	HTML
October 1, 2000	369 (XXXVI)	Punch Us	Complete any of the provided jokes.	Jennifer Hart	JOK	365	HTML
October 8, 2000	370 (XXXVII)	No End in Sight	Write the beginnings of sentences you don't want to hear the end of.	Bill Chang	WOR	366	HTML
October 15, 2000	371 (XXXVIII)	Ask Backward	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Fred Hayes Joseph Romm Meg Sullivan	JEO	367	HTML
October 22, 2000	372 (XXXIX)	Trial Balloons	Fill in the balloons.	Stephen Dudzik	CAR	368	HTML
October 29, 2000	373 (XL)	An Extra Large Challenge	What should we put on the back of the new Style Invitational T-shirt?	Mike Elliott	TSH	369	HTML
November 5, 2000	374 (XLI)	Bill Us Later	Take a well-known expression and update it for the new millennium.	Twyla Vernon	CUL	370	HTML
November 12, 2000	375 (XLII)	Show Us Up	Combine the names of two existing TV shows (past or present) to make an entirely new show. Then, describe the show.	Jonathan Paul	TEL	371	HTML
November 19, 2000	376 (XLIII)	Apply Yourself	Supply bad openings to college application biographies.	Elden Carnahan		372	HTML
November 26, 2000	377 (XLIV)	Week MMDCXLIV	Provide a headline (and, if necessary, the first line of the text) for any article that will appear in The Washington Post on this day in the year 2050.	Tom Witte	HEA HIS	373	HTML
December 3, 2000	378 (XLV)	Bill Us Now	Come up with a bill sponsored by any of the newly elected U.S. senators and representatives, and explain the purpose of the bill.	Dave Zarrow	LEG	374	HTML
December 10, 2000	379 (XLVI)	Rather Unusual	Come up with lines that could be uttered by Dan Rather, with his unbearably folksy excesses.	Jennifer Hart	CUL	375	HTML
December 17, 2000	380 (XLVII)	The New-Name Offense	Propose changes for the names of places and things that need it, either because there is something wrong with their name, or because another name would be so much more descriptive.	Lynne Filderman	WOR	376	HTML
December 24, 2000	381 (XLVIII)	Idiom Savant	Take any well-known idiom, or expression, and invent an interesting derivation for it.	Gordon Labow	WOR	377	HTML
December 31, 2000	382 (XLIX)	Pickup Schticks	Write inept pickup lines, by either sex, to either sex.	Jonathan Paul	CUL	378	HTML
January 7, 2001	383 (L)	A Kinder, Gender Nation	Take an noun and give us a reason or two why it should be either masculine or feminine.	Jim Martin	WOR	379	HTML
January 14, 2001	384 (LI)	What's Your Story?	Take at least four of the provided cartoons, arrange them in any sequence you wish, and make up a funny story that they would illustrate.	Sarah Gaymon	CAR	380	HTML
January 21, 2001	385 (LII)	Proceed Gingerly	What is the still-secret invention, code-name "Ginger", that is said to meet the provided criteria?	Ervin Stembol	SCI	381	HTML
January 28, 2001	386 (LIII)	The Game of Clue	What are some clues that someone might be any of the provided characterizations?	Judith Cottrill		382	HTML
YEAR 9 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
February 4, 2001	387 (LIV)	By Jingo	Come up with a joke that could be written and understood only by a Washingtonian.	Jonathan Paul	WAS	383	HTML
February 11, 2001	388 (LV)	Pitches in the Dirt	Come up with a sales pitch to get any surplus product off the shelves.	Mike Genz	BUS	384	HTML
February 18, 2001	389 (LVI)	Operation Overkill	Present a solution to a problem that goes just a little too far.	Saria Brewer		385	HTML
The Uberczar and the Auxiliary Czar begin filling in temporarily for the Czar.
February 25, 2001	390 (LVII)	Canine Fashion	Write: 1. A caption for the provided image explaining what is happening; 2. An explanation of why the image is not photography but art; 3. A description of what additional items might be needed to make the image complete. Sex and potty jokes will be disqualified.	Kelli Midgley	CAP ART	386	HTML
March 4, 2001	391 (LVIII)	Spinning Out of Control	Take an headline in today's Washington Post and create a subhead that spins the story in an opposite or unexpected direction.	Sarah Gaymon	HEA	387	HTML
March 11, 2001	392 (LIX)	Everyone's a Comic	Choose any panel of any comics strip in today's Washington Post and improve it by replacing the original speech and thought balloons with your own,	Drew Knoblauch	CAR	388	HTML
March 18, 2001	393 (LX)	Things Could Be Verse	Take any story in today's Washington Post and rewrite it into a rhyming poem of no more than eight lines.	Geoff Shafer Lindsay Shafer	POE	389	HTML
March 25, 2001	394 (LXI)	Life in the Blurbs	Come up with a blurb used to sell a real or imagined book or movie that would be likely to have the opposite of the intended effect.	Christina Mach	LIT MOV	390	HTML
April 1, 2001	395 (LXII)	Devilishly Clever	Describe someone's special little corner of Hell.	Andy Lees	REL	391	HTML
April 8, 2001	396 (LXIII)	April Foals	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races and come up with appropriate names for their foals. Maximum 18 letters and spaces.	Jonathan Paul	HOR	392	HTML
April 15, 2001	397 (LXIV)	Sins of Omission	Omit a letter or letters from a real-life sign to create a name for a new business, comically different from the original. Describe the new business or include a slogan that explains it.	Selma Mathias	LET	393	HTML
April 22, 2001	398 (LXV)	Animal Magnetism	Make great literature and/or a significant expression of the human condition out of the provided randomly-selected words. Use whatever punctuation you choose and any of the words, but only those words, and use them only once.	Brian Foster	LIT CUL WOR	394
April 29, 2001	399 (LXVI)	IT PAYS TO BE GENDEROUS	Write a short film description that could persuade a woman that the guy movie he wants to see is really close to being a gal movie, or vice versa.	Robin Grove	MOV	395	HTML
May 6, 2001	400 (LXVII)	Life Is Snort	Write a "Life is Short" entry in under 100 words, in the voice of a celebrity, living or dead.	Don Burdett	CUL	396	HTML
May 13, 2001	401 (LXVIII)	A Matter of Degree	Describe a sign of some modest change in a situation and pair it with a sign of an extreme change in that same situation.	Chuck Smith		397	HTML
The Czar returns to duty.
May 20, 2001	402 (LXIX)	Spitting the Difference	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	Jim Pond	DIF	398	HTML
May 27, 2001	403 (LXX)	Cry, Uncle!	Write the beginnings of an obituary that will provide the details of what happened to the Style Invitational Uncle.	Tom Witte	EPI	399	HTML
June 3, 2001	404 (LXXI)	Balloonacy	Create a comic strip of one to four panels. For your dialogue or thought balloons, you may choose from the provided menu. You may invent one line of your own.	Jonathan Paul	CAR	400	HTML
June 10, 2001	405 (LXXII)	The "Sty"le Invitational	Take any word--this may include people or places--put a portion of it in "air quotes" and redefine it. You may not alter the spelling.	Steve Fahey	WOR	401	HTML
June 17, 2001	406 (LXXIII)	Bum Steerage	Offer some spectacularly bad advice to any of the provided people.	David Moore	CUL	402	HTML
June 24, 2001	407 (LXXIV)	Adverbiage	Come up with a witticism or a joke by making a pun out of an adverb. Unlike Tom Swiftlys, your adverb must modify not a verb but an adjective.	Chris Doyle	JOK WOR	403	HTML
July 1, 2001	408 (LXXV)	What's In a Name?	Take the name of any politician, living or dead, and construct an appropriate message from the letters of the name. You may use any letter as many times as you wish, and you may insert punctuation.	Chris Doyle	LET POL	404	HTML
July 8, 2001	409 (LXXVI)	Nice Job, if You Get It	Take anything that might need its image enhanced and rename it in a way the keeps its essential identity, but makes it seem nicer.	Gary Patishnock		405	HTML
July 15, 2001	410 (LXXVII)	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Chuck Smith	JEO	406	HTML
July 22, 2001	411 (LXXVIII)	X's and Oaths	Take any oath, pledge, declaration or slogan and update it.	Jean Sorensen	SLO	407	HTML
July 29, 2001	412 (LXXIX)	Painful Climaxes	Come up with statements that start really dramatically, but leave you sorta flat at the end.	Ray Aragon Cindy Coe		408	HTML
August 5, 2001	413 (LXXX)	Bland Ambition	Come up with one or more items from an underachiever's list of midlife resolutions.	Gail Fiorini	CUL	409	HTML
August 12, 2001	414 (LXXXI)	No Rest for the Query	Complete the provided rhetorical question by filling in the blanks. It must be a put-down.	Paul Kocak		410	HTML
August 19, 2001	415 (LXXXII)	Sentence Us to Death	Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post, and invent a question that it answers.	Russell Beland	WAS QUE	411	HTML
August 26, 2001	416 (LXXXIII)	Diff'rent Jokes	Describe how things might have been different is famous person, living or dead, had had one of the provided conditions.	Drew Knoblauch	HIS	412	HTML
September 2, 2001	417 (LXXXIV)	Initially Mistaken	Take any name of person or thing, and construct an appropriate message using its letters, in order, as the first letters of the words of your message.	Chris Doyle	LET	413	HTML
September 9, 2001	418 (LXXXV)	Xtreme Invitational	Come up with signs you are overdoing it any in any of the provided categories.	John Burton		414	HTML
September 16, 2001	419 (LXXXVI)	Don't Spare the Rodney	Come up with indications that one might not be getting no respect.	Chuck Smith		415	HTML
September 23, 2001	420 (LXXXVII)	Ha Anxiety	Make us laugh.	Russell Beland	JOK	416	HTML
September 30, 2001	421 (LXXXVIII)	Picture This	These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they?	Jennifer Hart	CAR	417	HTML
October 7, 2001	422 (LXXXIX)	Taught Language	Come up with lessons learned from (1) the movies, (2) popular songs, (3) romance novels or (4) the comics page.	Bob Sorensen	MOV MUS LIT COM	418	HTML
October 14, 2001	423 (XC)	Roling With Laughter	Take a character from one movie, use him or her to replace a character in a second movie, and then explain how this change would affect the second movie.	Russell Beland	MOV	419	HTML
Reacting to the anthrax scare, the Invitational no longer accepts mailed-in entries.
October 21, 2001	424 (XCI)	Osama Chanted Evening	Write poems about Osama bin Laden.	Patricia Helmetag	POE	420	HTML
October 28, 2001	425 (XCII)	Hyphen the Terrible	Take the first half of any hyphenated word from any story in today's newspaper and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and propose a definition of the new word you've created.	Chris Doyle	HYP	421	HTML
November 4, 2001	426 (XCIII)	Captions Courageous	Take any photograph of illustration from today's Washington Post and give it a more interesting caption.	Jennifer Hart	CAP	422	HTML
November 11, 2001	427 (XCIV)	Skinned	Come up with events that have a smaller chance of happening than the Redskins winning the Super Bowl.	Sarah Gaymon	ATH	423	HTML
November 18, 2001	428 (XCV)	No Rest for the Query	Answer any of the provided supposedly unanswerable questions in the voice of any famous person, living or dead.	Elliott Schiff		424	HTML
November 25, 2001	429 (XCVI)	Shark Instruments	Tell us what would be a sign that any current institution--TV show, newspaper feature, magazine, business, etc.--has jumped the shark.	Chris Doyle	TEL CUL BUS	425	HTML
December 2, 2001	430 (XCVII)	Omb Directive No. 2	Revisit any contest The Style Invitational has ever run, and rewrite out tawdry past by proposing a new first-prize winner serious and/or decorous enough to please the Ombudsman.	Jonathan Paul	PRE	426	HTML
THE HIBERNATION The Czar claims to be embarking on a secret mission, and promises that the Invitational will resume in January. During this time he will run profiles of top SI contestants, each of which will contain one lie.
December 9, 2001	431 (XCVIII)	Please Bear With Us …	There is no contest. Czar ran biographies of Chuck Smith and Jean Sorensen, each containing one lie.				HTML
December 16, 2001	432 (XCIX)	Sleeps With the Fishes.	No contests until mid-January. Czar ran biographies of Chris Doyle, Sue Lin Chong, Paul Styrene, and Brian Broadus, each containing one lie.				HTML
December 23, 2001	433 (C)	Takes a Break	No contests until mid-January. Czar ran biographies of Russell Beland, Sarah Gaymon, John Kammer, and Paul Kondis, each containing one lie.				HTML
December 30, 2001	434 (CI)	Takes a Breather	No contests until mid-January. Czar ran biographies of Jennifer Hart, Jonathan Paul, Mike Genz and Robin Grove, each containing one lie.				HTML
January 6, 2002	435 (CII)	Vegies Out	No contests until mid-January. Czar ran biographies of Tom Witte, Dave Zarrow, Sandra Hull, and Kevin Cuddihy, each containing one lie.				HTML
January 13, 2002	436 (CIII)	Takes a Powder	The contest resumes next week. Czar ran biographies of Elden Carnahan, Stephen Dudzik, Joseph Romm, and Art Grinath, each containing one lie.				HTML
January 20, 2002	437 (CIV)	The Telegraph Poll	Tell us the beginning of a joke that badly telegraphs the punch line.	Seth Brown	JOK	428	HTML
January 27, 2002	438 (CV)	What's the Pun Line?	Ask a question and answer it, somewhere incorporating the name of a least one famous person.	Chris Doyle	QUE	429	HTML
YEAR 10 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
February 3, 2002	439 (CVI)	No Can Do	Write signs of incompetence.	Kyle Bonney		427	HTML
February 10, 2002	440 (CVII)	Picture This	What is going on in these cartoons?	Chris Hill	CAR	430	HTML
February 17, 2002	441 (CVIII)	Spit the Difference	Take any two nouns that appear on the front page of today's Washington Post and explain how the nouns differ from each other.	Chris Doyle	WAS	437	HTML
February 24, 2002	442 (CIX)	Titletales	Take any real book or movie, change one word slightly, and describe the resulting new product.	Jeffrey Martin	LIT MOV WOR	438	HTML
March 3, 2002	443 (CX)	Sick Humor	Come up with modern diseases of Washington life.	Deborah Searson	WAS	439	HTML
March 10, 2002	444 (CXI)	Advice Squad	Take any letter from today's advice columns and answer it in the voice of someone famous, living or dead.	Mike Genz	CUL	440	HTML
March 17, 2002	445 (CXII)	Another Round of Bierce	Add a few entries to Ambrose Bierce's famous "Devil's Dictionary."	Mike Genz	WOR	441	HTML
March 24, 2002	446 (CXIII)	Poems Where the Heart Is	Take any recent news event and summarize it in a rhyming poem of eight lines or fewer.	Jennifer Hart	POE	442	HTML
March 31, 2002	447 (CXIV)	Acronimble	Take any of the provided witty statements and use the first letters in each of the words to create a brand-new, unrelated funny statement.	Jennifer Nelson	LET	443	HTML
April 7, 2002	448 (CXV)	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for the Triple Crown races this year and propose a name for their foal. No name may exceed 18 characters, including spaces.	Mark Eckenwiler	HOR	444	HTML
April 14, 2002	449 (CXVI)	Cut and Pastiche	Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in today's Post. You cannot subdivide words.	Dave Zarrow	HEA	445	HTML
April 21, 2002	450 (CXVII)	Blues It or Lose It	Write the first verse of a blues song expressing some Washington area woe.	Bob Dalton	WAS	446	HTML
April 28, 2002	451 (CXVIII)	Make Your Pix	Which two of the provided cartoons are related, and how?	Dan Steinberg	CAR DIF	447	HTML
May 5, 2002	452 (CXIX)	Russellmania!	(1) Design one or more steps for a 12-step program for the recovering Invitationalaholic; (2) Propose a devious method by which we might lure Russell Beland back.	J. D. Berry	STY	448	HTML
May 12, 2002	453 (CXX)	Haiku 2 U2	Write a haiku summarizing the career of any American politician, living or head. A haiku is generally defined as a nonrhyming poem, of three lines. The first and last lines are five syllables; the middle line is seven.	Daniel Horner	POE POL	449	HTML
May 19, 2002	454 (CXXI)	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Sue Lin Chong	JEO	450	HTML
May 26, 2002	455 (CXXII)	Comixing	Create new comic characters by crossing two existing characters, then describe the character.	Seth Brown	COM	451	HTML
June 2, 2002	456 (CXXIII)	A Bad-Ask Contest	You are still on Jeopardy!, and you still have to supply questions to the provided answers, but the winners will be the least funny answers.	Mark Young	JEO	452	HTML
June 9, 2002	457 (CXXIV)	Letter Rip	Give us the beginning of a letter to the editor that is certain never to see print.	Fil Feit		453	HTML
June 16, 2002	458 (CXXV)	It's a Setup	Come up with joke setups for any of the provided punch lines.	William Zamojcin	JOK	454	HTML
June 23, 2002	459 (CXXVI)	Stock Humor	Look at any of the abbreviated company names in the Nasdaq or New York Stock Exchange listings in any newspaper's business section and suggest what business the companies might be in.	Mike Hammer	BUS	455	HTML
June 30, 2002	460 (CXXVII)	Pompous Assets	Come up the first paragraph of a review of a real book or movie, past or present, that is narcissistic, pretentious, and self-aggrandizing.	Jonathan Paul	LIT MOV	456	HTML
July 7, 2002	461 (CXXVIII)	Punch Us Again	Take any comic from the daily Washington Post during the next week and make it better by changing the contents of the final word balloon.	Meg Sullivan	WAS COM	457	HTML
July 14, 2002	462 (CXXIX)	Cast Away	Come up with a terrible bit of miscasting in a movie or TV show, past or present, real or imagined.	William Rothstein	MOV TEL	458	HTML
July 21, 2002	463 (CXXX)	Retell Sales	Give us the beginning of any well-known story as retold by any famous person, living or dead, except for Ronald Reagan.	Jonathan Paul	LIT	459	HTML
July 28, 2002	464 (CXXXI)	Cursive Writing	Come up with a new curse for this millennium.	Art Grinath	CUL	460	HTML
August 4, 2002	465 (CXXXII)	Hyphen the Terrible	Take the first half of any word or word combination in today's Post that is broken by a hyphen at the end of a line, and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word from the same story, and define the new word that is formed.	James Pierce	HYP	461	HTML
August 11, 2002	466 (CXXXIII)	Spit the Difference	Tell us the difference between any two of the provided items.	Chris Doyle	DIF	462	HTML
August 18, 2002	467 (CXXXIV)	Get Your But in Here	Produce a line that fits this structure: (Real thing based upon current events) is (word or phrase suggesting some quality) but (other word or phrase suggesting a dissimilar or incompatible quality), like (funny analogy).	Elden Carnahan		463	HTML
August 25, 2002	468 (CXXXV)	Ism This Stupid?	Take any common prefix and attach it to any well-known "ism" and define the new term.	Paul A. Stone	WOR	464	HTML
September 1, 2002	469 (CXXXVI)	Playing Check-In	Suggest appropriate hotel check-in names for any celebrities, past or present, living or dead.	Russell Beland	CUL	465	HTML
September 8, 2002	470 (CXXXVII)	Czar Har	Take the name of someone famous, rhyme it with a product, and describe the unholy union.	Brendan Beary	POE	466	HTML
September 15, 2002	471 (CXXXVIII)	Excuses, Excuses	Come up with creative new excuses for not turning in homework, not filing your taxes on time, missing church or forgetting your spouse's birthday.	Kelley Lund		467	HTML
September 22, 2002	472 (CXXXIX)	Water Stupid Idea	Propose bad ideas for saving water in the continuing drought.	Roy Ashley		468	HTML
September 29, 2002	473 (CXL)	Offensive Line	Find what's offensive in any of the provided cartoons, and explain.	Seth Brown	CAR	469	HTML
October 6, 2002	474 (CXLI)	Alphabettering	Create a sentence that uses each letter the alphabet at least once but that would never be heard on the politically correct, genteel, rarified air of NPR.	Milo Sauer	LET	470	HTML
October 13, 2002	475 (CXLII)	Bad Connection	Take any two seemingly unrelated stories from anywhere in today's Washington Post and explain how their subjects are linked in some unholy conspiracy or other suspicious way.		WAS	471	HTML
October 20, 2002	476 (CXLIII)	Portmanteautapping	Make a new word by squishing together two existing words. The constituent words must share at least two letters.	Meg Sullivan	WOR	472	HTML
October 27, 2002	477 (CXLIV)	A Load of Bulwer	Give us the beginning of incompetently written novel.	Brian Barrett Bob Dalton Chuck Smith	LIT	473	HTML
November 3, 2002	478 (CXLV)	Do You Mindset?	Anticipate items for the Mindset List for the freshman class of the year 2020.	Tony Noerpel	CUL	474	HTML
November 10, 2002	479 (CXLVI)	Invest Case Scenario	Suggest new companies in which it might be unwise to invest.	John Cogburn	BUS	477	HTML
November 17, 2002	480 (CXLVII)	In No Uncertain Terminations	Come up with a way to stop any unwanted overture in its tracks.	Barry Blyveis		476	HTML
November 24, 2002	481 (CXLVIII)	Homonymphomania	Create a new homonym of any existing word, and define. The new word must be spelled in such a way that is obviously pronounced identically to the original word.	Michael Levy	WOR	477	HTML
December 1, 2002	482 (CXLIX)	Inspect Out Gadgets	What are these gadgets? What do they do?	Seth Brown	CAR	478	HTML
December 8, 2002	483 (CL)	Obitter Fate	Give us an obit headline for some famous person, currently living or dead.	Dan Steinberg	HEA	479	HTML
December 15, 2002	484 (CLI)	Manufracturing	Take any product and explain how it would be different if it were designed by a different existing company.	Milo Sauer	BUS	480	HTML
December 22, 2002	485 (CLII)	Asterisky Business	Write a joke with a punch line depending on knowledge so esoteric that it requires an asterisked explanation.	Seth Brown	JOK	481	HTML
December 29, 2002	486 (CLIII)	A Word From Our Co-Sponsors	Come up with bills the new members of Congress might sponsor. Each bill must have at least two sponsors.	Chris Doyle	LEG	482	HTML
January 5, 2003	487 (CLIV)	Eee! Rotica	Come with a passage in a novel that ineptly describes hanky-panky.	Marc Leibert	LIT	483	HTML
January 12, 2003	488 (CLV)	No Rest for the Query	Come up with a vexing, funny question about life.	John Durkin	QUE	484	HTML
January 19, 2003	489 (CLVI)	Combo, First Blood	Combine two people whose names contain a common element, as in the examples above. Then describe the person, or provide a quote he or she might have uttered.	Beverly Miller	WOR	485	HTML
January 26, 2003	490 (CLVII)	Eyes on Reprise	Submit any good entries you might have thought of, for any previous contest, after the deadline passed.	Helene Haduch	PRE	486	HTML
February 2, 2003	491 (CLVIII)	Hirschfeld Follies	Try to figure out which celebrities Bob Staake is trying to draw in imitation of Al Hirschfeld.	Ben Pitkin	CUL	487	HTML
February 9, 2003	492 (CLIX)	Cheap Tricks	Come up with extreme cost-conserving measures for these difficult economic times.	Lindsay Lacy	POL	488	HTML
February 16, 2003	493 (CLX)	A Major Offensive	Find something anywhere in today's Washington Post and complain about it with absurd oversensitivity.	Cecil Clark	WAS	489	HTML
February 23, 2003	494 (CLXI)	Quote-idian	Take any extremely banal piece of familiar writing and rewrite it in the style of a famous writer, poet or lyricist.	Jeff Brechlin	LIT POE	490	HTML
March 2, 2003	495 (CLXII)	Words of One Syl- … Um, Just Short Words	Take some complex issue of any sort and explain it to all us morons entirely in words of one syllable.	R. N. Oerter	POL	491	HTML
YEAR 11 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 9, 2003	496	The Style Invitational: The First Dreckade	Submit new entries to any of the old contest listed, and try to beat The Very Best of the Past 10 Years.	Jeff Brechlin	PRE
March 16, 2003	497	Ask Backward	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Kevin Cuddihy	JEO	492, 493	HTML
March 23, 2003	498	Unamazing But True!	Submit a true fact that is of absolutely no use, but interesting in a weirdly Invitationalist way.	Milo Sauer	STY	494	HTML
March 30, 2003	499	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Mate any two of the horses qualifying for this year's Triple Crown and tell us the name of their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces.	Emily Lloyd	HOR	495	HTML
April 6, 2003	500	Ergo-Nomics	Create a sillygism--a syllogism that doesn't quite work.	Dan Dunn	WOR	496	HTML
April 13, 2003	501	Questionable Sentences	Take any sentence appearing anywhere in today's Washington Post and make it the answer to a question.	Tom Kreitzberg	WAS	497	HTML
April 20, 2003	502	Picture This	Who are these people? What are they doing?	Elden Carnahan	CAR	498	HTML
April 27, 2003	503	Doody and Muldoon	Write poetry that out-Muldoons Paul Muldoon, the Princeton professor who won this year's Pulitzer Prize in poetry. Your poem must be a single quatrain, containing at least one rhyme and references to at least two body parts and one geographic name.	Chris Doyle	POE	499	HTML
May 4, 2003	504	Life Is Snort	Write a schmaltzy last line of a "Life Is Short."	David K. Ronka		500	HTML
May 11, 2003	505	The Rule of Dumb	You are given $1 million. Conditions: (1) You must spend it all. (2) You must use it in a way that neither directly nor indirectly works to your financial benefit. (3) You may not use it to alleviate the suffering of anyone on Earth, or for any public-spirited project other than the joy of stupidity.	Mark Briscoe		501	HTML
May 18, 2003	506	The Battle of All Mottoes	Provide a slogan for any federal department agency, department, office, etc.	Brendan Beary	SLO	502	HTML
May 25, 2003	507	Crocktails	Come up with a drink named for something or someone associated with Washington and describe the drink.	Joe Cackler	WAS	503	HTML
June 1, 2003	508	Letter Rip	Take a word from the dictionary, add, change, or delete a single letter, and redefine the word.	Jonathan Paul	LET	504	HTML
June 8, 2003	509	Be a Real Card	Come up with a greeting card rhyme for an un-greeting-card occasion.	Joe Cackler	POE	505	HTML
June 15, 2003	510	Universal Embarrassment	What would you like to see Miss Universe Pageant contests asked live, on national TV?	Sugar Strawn Jack Welsch	TEL	506	HTML
June 22, 2003	511	It All Impends	Tell us what is something unusual about to happen in the provided cartoons.	Dave Hebda	CAR	507	HTML
June 29, 2003	512	Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader	Take the name of any person--living, dead, fictional--and use the letters of his name, in succession. To form the first letters of an expression appropriate to that person.	Chris Doyle	LET	508	HTML
July 6, 2003	513	It's Delete We Can Do	Come up with very bad subject lines for spam e-mail--lines that will guarantee instant deletion, sight unseen.	Tom Kreitzberg	WOR	509	HTML
July 13, 2003	514	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are your answers. What are the questions?	Sanford Horn	JEO	510	HTML
July 20, 2003	515	A Cellebration of Tasteful Living	Come up with ways that Martha Stewart can prettify and improve her new prison surroundings using only her skills, her impeccable taste and those resources available to her.	Chuck Smith	CUL	511	HTML
July 27, 2003	516	Err Apparent	Come up with unwise things to say in any of the provided circumstances.	Milo Sauer		512	HTML
August 3, 2003	517	Insert Joke Here	Slip a single bogus sentence into next year's State of the Union address, figuring the Prez will probably just read it right off the teleprompter.	Craig Zimmerman	POL	513	HTML
August 10, 2003	518	Say, Kids, What Time Is It?	Fill in the blanks in the following sentence: "You know it's time to ------ when ------."	Michael Connaghan	CUL	514	HTML
August 17, 2003	519	Hey, Baby, What's Your Sector?	Come up with pickup lines that could be heard only in Washington.	Cindy Burnham	WAS	515	HTML
August 24, 2003	520	I, Object	These items were ordered by well-known people. Who ordered them, and why?	Brendan Beary	CAR	516	HTML
August 31, 2003	521	Hyphen the Terrible	Take the first half of any hyphenated word in today's Washington Post (or Tuesday's USA Today) and combine it with the second half of any other hyphenated word in the same story, and define the new word it produces.	Jane Auerbach	HYP WOR	517	HTML
September 7, 2003	522	Being There	Set the agenda for a flash mob, one of those existential, Web-arranged, sudden, pointless, instantaneous but brief gatherings of people at odd places, to do odd things.	Sarah Gaymon	CUL	518	HTML
September 14, 2003	523	Hard to Overstate	Propose ways to make modern life just a little bit harder than it needs to be.	Danny Bravman	CUL	519	HTML
September 21, 2003	524	Around Things Moving	Take the title of any book or movie, rearrange the words, and explain what the new book or movie is about.	Russell Beland	LIT MOV WOR	520	HTML
September 28, 2003	525	It Won't Belong Now	Tell us which of three cartoons provided does not belong, and why.	Russell Beland	CAR	521	HTML
October 5, 2003	526	Conventional Wisdumb	Answer any of the provided questions.	Art Grinath	QUE	522	HTML
October 12, 2003	527	Rite of First Defusal	Come up with witty or bizarre things to say to defuse the tension in awkward moments.	Mark Young	CUL	523	HTML
October 19, 2003	528	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" These are the answers. What are the questions?	Elden Carnahan	JEO	524	HTML
October 26, 2003	529	United We Stanza	Summarize in four rhyming lines of verse any famous document, theory, principle or speech.	Brendan Beary	POE	525	HTML
November 2, 2003	530	Tri Harder	Take any word, alter it in three ways--by adding a letter, by subtracting a letter and by changing a letter--and redefine all three new words.	Brendan Beary	LET	526	HTML
November 9, 2003	531	Your Cynic Duties	Come up with a saying that sound as if it's going to be inspirational, but winds up being cynical, misanthropic or sad.	Tom McCudden	WOR	527	HTML
November 16, 2003	532	Short Pans	Come up with a terse review (four words or fewer) of any work of art.	Chris Doyle	ART	528	HTML
November 23, 2003	533	Breed Apart	Mate the clones of any two famous real people, living or dead--a male and a female, please--and hypothesize what traits or skills their offspring might have.	Tom Witte	CUL	529	HTML
November 30, 2003	534	The Feminine Touch	Propose how any male-dominated occupation of institution would change if it suddenly became female-dominated.	Tom McCudden	BUS CUL	530	HTML
THE CZAR IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE EMPRESS
December 7, 2003	535	Picture This	Can you tell us what astonishing news Bob Staake is trying to pass on with cartoons?	John Shea	CAR	531	HTML
December 14, 2003	536	And the Horse He Rodin On	Come up with some words we can stick in the back of The Inker.	Josh Borken Andrew Elby Dave Zarrow	STY	532	HTML
December 21, 2003	537	The New York Post	Liven up any article appearing in The Washington Post or its Web site over the next eight days by giving it an irresponsibly sensationalistic headline.	Milo Sauer	WAS HEA	533	HTML
December 28, 2003	538	Try, Try Again	Enter any previous Invitational. Your entry must be substantially different from the original winners.	Drew Knoblauch	PRE	534	HTML
January 4, 2004	539	Dead Letters	Pay tribute in verse to someone who died in 2003.	Bob Dalton	POE	535	HTML
January 11, 2004	540	Revisionist History, or Badenov for You?	State any news event (or old event) in the style of the Rocky-and-Bullwinkle teasers about the next show.	Chris Doyle	CUL	536	HTML
January 18, 2004	541	Celled Up the River	Give us a delicious scenario, in which a cellphone yakker's yakking could be taken profitably out of context.	Erika Reinfeld		537	HTML
January 25, 2004	542	Discombobulate Us	Come up with both an object/situation and a neologism for it, something that Bob Levey would never have stooped to print in his column.	Chris Doyle	WOR	538	HTML
February 1, 2004	543	Read Our Leaps	Fill any of readers of The Washington Post on Sunday, Feb. 29, 2032, on: (a) the day's lead news story; (b) the highest-flying company and its business; (c) the best-selling self-help book; and/or (d) the day's winning Style Invitational entry.	Chris Doyle	WAS BUS LIT STY HIS	539	HTML
February 8, 2004	544	You Gotta Have Heart	Write us some valentine sentiments from one particular person (real or fictional) to another.	Chris Doyle	POE	540	HTML
February 15, 2004	545	Put It in Reverse	Spell a word backward and define it, with the definition relating in some way to the original word.	Tom Witte	LET	541	HTML
February 22, 2004	546	A Nice Pair of Cities	Choose any two or more real U.S. towns and come up with a joint endeavor they would undertake.	Dudley Thompson	POL	542	HTML
February 29, 2004	547	Give Us a Bad Name	Take an existing product or business name and pair it with an incompatible one.	Russell Beland	BUS	543	HTML
YEAR 12 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 7, 2004	548	Inklings	Tell us about certain people's childhood experiences and behaviors that hint at their destinies.	Walt Johnston	CUL	544	HTML
March 14, 2004	549	Show Us Your Best Quantities	Come up with novel units of measure, and explain or quantify them.	Joseph Anthony	SCI	545	HTML
March 21, 2004	550	Spring Cleaning	Suggest creative uses for things you've already used, or never will use, or other disposable household thingies, singly or in combination.	Bird Waring		546	HTML
March 28, 2004	551	Lost in Translation	Find us some comical translations-and-back using Google translator. Feed some passage of English text into the tool--25 words max--and ask it to translate it into one of the five languages offered; then copy the result back into the tool and ask it to translate that back to English.	Kevin Mettinger	GOO LAN	547	HTML
April 4, 2004	552	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. Maximum 18 characters, including spaces.	Kevin Cuddihy	HOR	548	HTML
April 11, 2004	553	Picture This	Tell us what's going on in on or more of the provided cartoons.	Allan Moore	CAR	549	HTML
April 18, 2004	554	Love the Tiny Tail Stain	Write an anagram based on a name or event that's been in the news recently.	Chris Doyle	ANA	550	HTML
April 25, 2004	555	A Tsk, A Task	Come up with a super-wholesome passage of 25 words or fewer that would likely be banned by the admirable, ever-vigilant Neopets.com site.	Jane Auerbach	WOR	551	HTML
May 2, 2004	556	So Zoo Us	Combine any two kinds of animals, give its name and describe it.	Greg Pearson	WOR	552	HTML
May 9, 2004	557	Oh, for Namesakes!	Take two people, real or fictional, who share some element of their names and explain the difference between them.	Brendan Beary	DIF	553	HTML
May 16, 2004	558	Set Us Right	Send us conservative-leaning humor is any of the provided genres.	Danny Bravman	JOK	554	HTML
May 23, 2004	559	Your Slogan Here	Come up with a clever slogan or sign for a business.	Chris Doyle Eric Murphy	SLO BUS	555	HTML
May 30, 2004	560	The 97.5-Meter Dash	Suggest some time- and cost-saving measures so the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens will open on time.	Marc Leibert	ATH	556	HTML
June 6, 2004	561	Deform of a Question	Take any sentence appearing in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com today through June 14, and make up a question to which the sentence could be an answer.	Marc Leibert	WAS QUE	557	HTML
June 13, 2004	562	The LMNs of Style	Write a funny sentence (or more) that you spell with only the sounds of the names of letters and those of numbers 1 through 9.	Milo Sauer	LET	558	HTML
June 20, 2004	563	Take Two	Take any two of the provided items and explain how they resemble or differ from each other.	Mark Young	DIF	559	HTML
June 27, 2004	564	Redefine Print	Redefine any word from the dictionary.	Chuck Smith	WOR	560	HTML
July 4, 2004	565	Anthem Is as Anthem Does	Give us a verse for an alternative U.S. national anthem, set to any well-known tune.	Chris Doyle	POE	561	HTML
July 11, 2004	566	Get Whack	Type a two-word phrase into the Google search engine that produces exactly one result.	Pam Sweeney	GOO	562	HTML
July 18, 2004	567	A Running Gag	Explain how any of the provided bizarre cartoons by Bob Staake relates to the current presidential campaign.	Josh Tucker	CAR	563	HTML
July 25, 2004	568	Tome Deftness	Make a pun or similar wordplay on a book title.	Wayne Rodgers	WOR LIT	564	HTML
August 1, 2004	569	Murphy's Lore	Give Eric Murphy advice he deserves on the provided questions.	Mai Nguyen	QUE	565	HTML
August 8, 2004	570	Timeline Rhyme Lines	Produce colorful chronological couplets about some historical event. They must rhyme and be in good meter.	Russell Beland	HIS POE	566	HTML
August 15, 2004	571	A Tour de Fours	Create and define a word that includes T, H, E, and S in any order. The letters must appear consecutively.	Frank Mullen III	LET	567	HTML
August 22, 2004	572	The Limerixicon	Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ai- through ar-.	Brendan Beary	LIM	568	HTML
August 29, 2004	573	Thine Ad Goest Here	Propose biblical and other literary passage, poems, etc., that could benefit from product placement.	Peter Metrinko	POE REL LIT BUS	569	HTML
September 5, 2004	574	Boor Us Silly	Come up with some unwise attempts at humor--one either likely to backfire or to create other unpleasant consequences.	Tom Witte	JOK	570	HTML
September 12, 2004	575	T Hee Hee	Come up with new ideas for both front and back of the Loser T-shirts.	Brendan Beary Russell Beland Sarah Gaymon	TSH	571	HTML
September 19, 2004	576	Well, Excuuuuse Us!	Come up with new excuses for any common human shortcoming or imperfection.	Erika Reinfeld		572	HTML
September 26, 2004	577	Teledubbies	Slightly change the title of a TV show, past or present, and describe it.	Jack Cackler	TEL WOR	573	HTML
October 3, 2004	578	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. Send us the questions.	Robert Levin	JEO	574	HTML
October 10, 2004	579	Another Brilliant Contest! Do Enter!	Write us a sentence or phrase consisting of words beginning with consecutive letters, in the A-to-Z direction.	Lawrence McGuire	LET	575	HTML
October 17, 2004	580	United Nations	Combine the names of any two countries in the world and describe the new hybrid country.	Brendan Beary	POL	576	HTML
October 24, 2004	581	Evil Things in Store	Think of evil or just plain stupid practices that the staff of a retail or other establishment might perpetrate.	Michael Cisneros	BUS	577	HTML
October 31, 2004	582	Perversery Rhymes	Update a nursery rhyme or children's song with an edgier text.	Joseph Romm	POE	578	HTML
November 7, 2004	583	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, from the Washington Post or its Web site from today through next Sunday, and reinterpret it by writing either a "bank headline"--or subtitle--or the first sentence of an article that changes the original meaning entirely.	Michelle Stupak	HEA	579	HTML
November 14, 2004	584	Deliver Us a Post	Come up with some new Cabinet or other positions that the president could establish, and describe the job responsibilities.	Russell Beland	POL	580	HTML
November 21, 2004	585	It's Parody Time	Offer, in the holiday spirit of goodwill, some advice--as constructive and unifying as Loserly suggestions always are--to our nation's leaders (or the loyal opposition) as we prepare for the next four years. This advice will be set to the tune of some winter holiday song, either religious or secular.	Barb Sarshik	POE	581	HTML
November 28, 2004	586	God's Will (and Won't)	Complete either of the following: "If God hadn't wanted is to ----, God wouldn’t have ----"; "If God had wanted us to ----, God would have ----."	Steve Fahey	REL	582	HTML
December 5, 2004	587	The B-List	Come up with an In-Out list for 2005, or other pairings.	Joseph Romm	CUL	583	HTML
December 12, 2004	588	Gadget If You Can	Tell us what these nifty, indispensable items are.	John Conti	CAR	584	HTML
December 19, 2004	589	Hyphen the Terrible (New Edition!)	Combine the beginning of any multi-syllabic word in this week's Invitational with the end of any other multi-syllabic word in this column (or in this week's Web supplement) to coin a new word, and then define it.	Jeff Brechlin	HYP WOR	585	HTML
December 26, 2004	590	Send Us the Bill	Come up with a bill sponsored by any combination of the newly elected members of Congress and explain the purpose of the bill.	Angela Murphy-Walters	LEG	586	HTML
January 2, 2005	591	Dead Letters	Write rhyming poems about notable personages who have died in the past year.	Brendan Beary	POE EPI	587	HTML
January 9, 2005	592	We Got Gamy	Offer us a concise idea for a Super Bowl commercial, or some innovative halftime entertainment, or some inappropriate sponsors, or some ideas for improving the game itself.	Peter Larsen	ATH BUS CUL	588
January 16, 2005	593	Take This, Job, and …	Come up with some entertainingly awful things that a Job's comforter might offer. A Job's comforter is someone who seems to be offering sympathy but instead just makes the person feel worse, either intentionally or unintentionally.	Rob Poole		589	HTML
January 23, 2005	594	History Loves Company	Name an appropriate corporate sponsor for some historical event or for someone's life story.	Jim Getz Jennifer LaFleur	BUS HIS	590	HTML
January 30, 2005	595	Listing Precariously	Take the two subject listings at the top of any page of the Yellow Pages and create a dictionary definition for the compound word they form.	Bruce Alter	WOR	591	HTML
February 6, 2005	596	Take Her Words for It	Use the words of this week's Ask Amy advice column, as a pool from which to compose your own useful (or useless) thoughts. You may ignore or change capitalization or punctuation.	Bob Dalton	WOR	592	HTML
February 13, 2005	597	Eccchsibits	Come up with some alternative museums and exhibits for the nation's capital.	Joseph Romm	WAS	593	HTML
February 20, 2005	598	Site Gags	Come up with an appropriate name for a cafeteria--or meeting room, or an employee lounge, or some other workplace spot--for a particular institution.	Robin Grove	WOR BUS	594	HTML
February 27, 2005	599	So What's the News?	Tell us what the illustrated events are.	Brendan Beary	CAR	595	HTML
March 6, 2005	600	Top of the Inking	Tell us some ways the District of Columbia will change now that we have the Nationals.	Dudley Thompson	CUL ATH	596	HTML
YEAR 13 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 13, 2005	601	Anticdotes	Give us an untrue anecdote in response to one of the provided Editor's Query topics.	Jeff Brechlin		597	HTML
March 20, 2005	602	Take a Letter -- Again	Take a word, term or name that begins with A, B, C or D; either add on letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word.	Seth Brown	LET	598	HTML
March 27, 2005	603	Sui Genesis	Take one of two of the 50 chapters of the KJV Book of Genesis and draw thou from them, using words in the order in which they appear in the original, your own passage.	Michelle Stupak	REL WOR	599	HTML
April 3, 2005	604	Fun for the Roses	Breed any two of the horses on a list of those qualifying for this year's Triple Crown races, and tell us a good name for their foal. The name of the foal must be no more than 18 characters, including spaces.	Lori Price	HOR	600	HTML
April 10, 2005	605	Truly Stupendous Ideas	Name two people with the same initials (the people can be living or dead, real or fictional) and explain how they are similar or different.	Mark Eckenwiler	DIF LET	601	HTML
April 17, 2005	606	The News Could be Verse	Translate the fine prose of Washington Post articles into verse. Choose any article appearing in The Post of on its Web site from April 17 through April 25.	Brendan Beary	POE	602	HTML
April 24, 2005	607	Contest Fodder Created!	Produce absurdly parochial views of historical events.	Anne Clark	HIS	603	HTML
May 1, 2005	608	Comeback Next Week	Come up with original snide retorts to various rude questions or comments.	Pam Dalrymple Roger Dalrymple		604	HTML
May 8, 2005	609	A2D2	Give us some funny "corrections" to brighten up Page A2.	Elden Carnahan	WAS	605	HTML
May 15, 2005	610	MASH	Find two well-known movies, plays, or TV shows whose title have a significant word in common, combine their titles, and describe the hybrid.	Paul Whittemore	MOV LIT TEL WOR	606	HTML
May 22, 2005	611	Ask Backwards, Erudite Edition	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the sophisticated answers. You supply the questions.	Barbara Turner	JEO	607	HTML
May 29, 2005	612	Oh, and One More Thing	What was the thing that didn't make the cut on any list?	Tom Witte		608	HTML
June 5, 2005	613	Tour de Fours II	Create and define a word that includes, consecutively, E, R, A and N. in any order.	Danny Bravman	LET	609	HTML
June 12, 2005	614	In-Stock Characters	Pitch us an idea for a summer movie featuring two or more of the provided characters.	Brendan Beary	MOV	610	HTML
June 19, 2005	615	Airy Persiflage	Write some jokes you'd like to hear in an airport announcement.	Stephen Dudzik	JOK	611	HTML
June 26, 2005	616	Picture This, Kids	Supply title and one-sentence synopsis for Bob Staake new kids' project, incorporating any of the provided cartoons.	Ron Stanley	CAR	612	HTML
July 3, 2005	617	Best the Best	Write something about any famous personage that uses only the letters in his or her name.	Chris Doyle	LET	613	HTML
July 10, 2005	618	Of D.C. I Sing	Give us a song about Washington, set to a recognizable tune.	Barb Sarshik	POE MUS	614	HTML
July 17, 2005	619	WordCount Us In	Write a poem of no more than four lines containing four or more consecutive words on the WordCount list. They must occur in the sentence in the order they appear on the list.	Michelle Stupak	POE WOR	615	HTML
July 24, 2005	620	Keep the Empress Employed	Suggest some original, creative ways that The Post could increase its circulation.	Art Grinath	WAS	616	HTML
July 31, 2005	621	Questionable Journalism	Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article in washingtonpost.com anytime through Aug. 8 and supply a question it could answer.	Russell Beland	WAS QUE	617	HTML
August 7, 2005	622	Our Sunday Constitutional	Write an new article or amendment to the Constitution, using on the words contained in the existing document (including amendments).	Marty McCullen	POL WOR	618	HTML
August 14, 2005	623	Try to Remember	Give us an original mnemonic for any list that someone might want to remember.	Chris Doyle	WOR	619	HTML
August 21, 2005	624	Limerixicon 2	Supply a limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with bd- through bl-.	Chris Doyle	LIM	620	HTML
August 28, 2005	625	Haven't Seen It	Make up a new plot for an existing movie title.	Kevin Jamison	MOV	621	HTML
September 4, 2005	626	Course Light	Come up with a comical college class, along with a description for the course catalog.	Douglas Frank	CUL	622	HTML
September 11, 2005	627	Per-Verse	Write a limerick or other short poem with comically awful rhyming.	Jesse Frankovich	LIM POE	623	HTML
September 18, 2005	628	You Gotta Have Connections	Choose any two or more items from the provided truly random list and describe how they are alike or different.	David Smith	DIF	624
September 25, 2005	629	Odd Couplings	Marry or otherwise combine famous names and supply to result.	Marcy Alvo		625
October 2, 2005	630	Hyphen the Terrible	Combine the beginning and end of any two multisyllabic words in this week's Invitational, and then define the compound.	Chris Doyle Tom Witte	HYP WOR	626
October 9, 2005	631	Picture This	What's going on in any of these cartoons?	Elwood Fitzner	CAR	627
October 16, 2005	632	Live On, Sweet, Earnest Reader (Inc.)	Give us an original backronym for a company or product. A backronym is a fake etymology that often gets in a little dig at the subject.	Jonathan Guberman	WOR BUS	628
October 23, 2005	633	Your Secret Here!	Send us some original secrets (they don't have to be true).	Art Grinath		629
October 30, 2005	634	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from today through next Sunday, and change its meaning by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it.	G. Smith	HEA	630
November 6, 2005	635	I've Told You a Hundred Times	Enter any Style Invitational from Week 536 to Week 631. Your entry must be substantially different from than original winners.	Chris Doyle	PRE	631
November 13, 2005	636	A Song From Tex Arcana	Write a verse of a song about sea urchin sushi or any of the other provided ostensibly unlyrical topics.	Brendan Beary	POE MUS	632
November 20, 2005	637	Full Steam Ahead	Write a steamy passage of a novel that's ostensibly by some well-known person who isn't a novelist.	Jeff Brechlin	LIT	633
November 27, 2005	638	The Little Bummer Boy	Come up with an idea (and title, if you like) for an original Christmas movie or TV special that provides an antidote to all the sap, and give us a brief synopsis.	P. H. Stevenson	MOV TEL	634
December 4, 2005	639	What's the Small Idea?	Do you have a senseless idea for improving the day-to-day lives of everyday Americans?	Kevin Dopart	CUL	635
December 11, 2005	640	Whassa Motto Wid You?	Give us a slogan or motto for any of the states, the District or the U.S. Territories.	Phil Frankenfeld	SLO POL	636
December 18, 2005	641	Dreck of All Trades	Come up with a business that combines two or more disparate products or services, and tell us its name and/or something else funny about it.	Jane Auerbach	BUS	637
December 25, 2005	642	It's Open Season	Come up with a brand-new word and its definition. The words must begin with O, P, Q, R or S.	Stephen Dudzik	LET WOR	638
January 1, 2006	643	The Post's Mortems	Give us a rhyming poem about some notable who died in 2005.	Brendan Beary	POE EPI	639
January 8, 2006	644	Winter Limp Picks	Brighten up the Winter Olympics with some new events and rule. Alternatively, you can suggest a commercial or ad campaign that could be tied in with the Winter Games or one of its sports.	Joel Knanishu	ATH BUS	640
January 15, 2006	645	A Hearty Har Har	Write up a Valentine's sentiment to any personage, or to someone in some generic category.	Kevin Dopart Chris Doyle	POE	641
January 22, 2006	646	Warped Perspectives	Tell us how two different types of people, animals, organizations, etc., would interpret any of the provided cartoons.	Pam Sweeney	CAR	642
January 29, 2006	647	Paste Imperfect	Change a headline or sentence that appears in the Post or on washingtonpost.com through Feb. 6 either by deleting up to 40 consecutive characters from it or by adding 40 consecutive characters from the same article or ad.	Stephen Dudzik	HEA LET	643
February 5, 2006	648	Caller IDiot	Name a product or company and supply a stupid question to ask the consumer hotline person.	Kevin Dopart	BUS QUE	644
February 12, 2006	649	Across the Wide What?	Give us some Virginia-appropriate lyrics for "Shenandoah."	Chris Doyle	POE MUS	645
February 19, 2006	650	King Us	Give us a scenario for a horror novel based on an anyday item.	Russell Beland	LIT	646
February 26, 2006	651	Show Us Some Character	Add a character to a book or movie and tell us what happens in it.	Jay Shuck	LIT MOV	647
March 5, 2006	652	Ask Backward	You are on "Jeopardy!" Above are the answers. You supply the questions.	Sue Lin Chong	JEO	648
YEAR 14 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 12, 2006	653	It's the Eponymy, Stupid	Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence	Russell Beland	WOR	649
March 19, 2006	654	It Plays to Recycle	Come up with funny ways to recycle things, people, writing (except for your old Invitational entries) or ideas.	David Prevar		650
March 26, 2006	655	Laughing Inside	Take any article appearing in The Washington Post or online on washingtonpost.com from today through April 3 -- the more serious and/or mundane its headline, the better -- and write a funny poem or other passage using only words that appear in that article.	Chris Doyle	POE	651
April 2, 2006	656	It's Post Time	Breed any two from a list of 100 of the more than 400 3-year-old racehorses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races, and name their hypothetical foal. The foal's name cannot exceed 18 characters and spaces combined.	Mark Eckenwiler	HOR	652
April 9, 2006	657	Nuts Fruit	Send in funny (but printable) images of real pieces of fruit.	Jeff Brechlin	PIX	653
April 16, 2006	658	Not in the Cards	Send us ideas for cards that would likely be ruled "Funny, But No" by Hallmark by F&YYY by the Empress.	Randy Lee	LET CUL	654
April 23, 2006	659	Tell Us a Fib	Compose a six-line poem with the following number of syllables per line: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8. It must be about a person or topic currently in the news, and two successive lines must rhyme.	Brendan Beary	POE CUL	655
April 30, 2006	660	Foaling Down: The Next Generation	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal.	Pam Sweeney	HOR	656
May 7, 2006	661	Name Any Good Movies Lately?	Give us a funny new title for an existing movie.	Tom Witte	MOV	657
May 14, 2006	662	How Low Will You Go?	Humiliate yourself for ink, and a stupid prize.	Fred Dawson	STY	658
May 21, 2006	663	Worth at Least a Dozen Words	Interpret any of the provided cartoons as you see fit in a caption.	Michelle Stupak	CAR	659
May 28, 2006	664	A Thousand Times?! No!	Come up with a new signature line for Russell Beland's -- or anyone else's -- e-mails.	Howard Walderman		660
June 4, 2006	665	Your One-in-a-Million	Coin the millionth words in the English language and define it. The word must end in -ion.	Marty McCullen	WOR	661
June 11, 2006	666	Bedevil Us	Give a mini-sermon explaining how some innocuous object or event signals the End of Days.	Brendan Beary	REL	662
June 18, 2006	667	Questionable Journalism	Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through June 26 and supply a question it could answer.	Kevin Dopart	WAS QUE	663
June 25, 2006	668	Cut From the Chase	Write an original John-Bunnell-style wrap-up to a crime story -- or one for a more minor transgression.	Bob Sprague	CUL	664
July 2, 2006	669	Huddled Messes	Suggest some bad advice for new arrivals to this country (legal or illegal).	Gordon Labow	POL	665
July 9, 2006	670	A Test of Character	Change a word or phrase by only one letter -- substitute one letter for another, add a letter or transpose two letters -- and explain how they are different or similar.	Ben Aronin	LET	666
July 16, 2006	671	Join Now!	Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the July 16 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound.	Kevin Dopart	HYP	667
July 23, 2006	672	Just Sign This	Write a funny message for an overhead highway sign.	Lisa Younce	WOR	668
July 30, 2006	673	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on Washingtonpost.com from July 30 through Aug. 7 and reinterpret it by adding either a "bank headline," or subtitle, or the first sentence of an article that might appear under it.	Fred Winter	HEA	669
August 6, 2006	674	Limerixicon 3	Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary (except proper nouns) beginning with ca-.	Chris Doyle	LIM LET	670
August 13, 2006	675	Cut Us Some Slack	Come up with humorous ways to be lazy.	Art Grinath		671
August 20, 2006	676	Tour de Fours III	Coin and define a word containing -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters L, E, A and F.	Fran Pryluck	LET	672
August 27, 2006	677	The News Gets Verse	Sum up wittily in verse -- but not a limerick -- any article appearing in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4.	David Smith	POE	673
September 3, 2006	678	Limerick Smackdown!	Chris Doyle and Brendan Beary will go head to head in a series of 10 limericks.		LIM	674
September 10, 2006	679	Ask Backwards	Here are the answers. You supply the questions to as many as you dare.	Elwood Fitzner	JEO	675
September 17, 2006	680	Rendered Speechless	Provide dialogue to fill the balloons in any of these cartoons.	Ned Bent	CAR	676
September 24, 2006	681	Ticket to Write	Write a jingle for a business (or its product), organization or government agency, set to a Beatles song.	Jay Shuck	POE BUS POL MUS	677
October 1, 2006	682	Punkin'd!	Send us a funny, clever, entirely original photo featuring one or more pumpkins and/or other vegetables.	Jane Auerbach	PIX	678
October 8, 2006	683	What a Piece of Work	String together words in a single scene, or two consecutive scenes, of "Hamlet" to produce on or more funny sentences, preferably unrelated to the original content. The words must appear in the order in which they appear in the play.	Dennis Lindsay	LIT WOR	679
October 15, 2006	684	Backtricking	Spell a word backward and define the result, somehow relating the definition to the original word.	Tom Witte	LET	680
October 22, 2006	685	Thank it Over	Tell us some things to be thankful for.	Bruce Alter	CUL	681
October 29, 2006	686	It's Baaaaack!	Explain why you, or anyone else in particular, ought to have this fine oil-on-panel by Fred Dawson of Beltsville, or what it might be used for.	Art Grinath	ART	682
November 5, 2006	687	What Were They Thinking?	Tell us (A) What someone might say in some situation, and (B) what that person was actually thinking when he said A.	Peter Metrinko		683
November 12, 2006	688	Making Short Work	Write a humorous six-word story.	Michael Levy	LIT WOR	684
November 19, 2006	689	Busted Play	Come up with a more objectionable or stupid toy than a working fart-powered toy rocket.	Chuck Smith	BUS	685
November 26, 2006	690	Funnies: How Time Flies	Pull Billy of "The Family Circus" -- or any of his comic strip neighbors in The Washington Post -- out of his time warp to a different age, era or place, and provide a short storyline or dialogue or caption.	Martin Bancroft	WAS COM	686
December 3, 2006	691	Haven't Got a Clue	Make all the clues in the provided crossword ooh-clever or at least ah-that's-funny, even the little words.	Chris Doyle	CRO WOR	687
December 10, 2006	692	Reinkernation	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 640 through Week 688. Every entry must include the word "three" or "third" or a creative variation.	Kevin Dopart	PRE	688
December 17, 2006	693	Everything Being Sequel	Give a brief scenario for the sequel to a well-known movie.	Andy Bassett	MOV	689
December 24, 2006	694	Hopelessly Ever After	Offer up a gloomy interpretation of any ungloomy piece of writing.	Cy Gardner	LIT	690
December 31, 2006	695	Dead Letters	Write a poem about someone who died in 2006.	Chris Doyle	POE EPI	691
January 7, 2007	696	Send Us the Bill	Come up legislation the newly-elected members of Congress might sponsor together.	Pam Sweeney	LEG	692
January 14, 2007	697	We Beg You To Differ	Take any two items from the truly random provided list and explain why they are different or why they are similar.	Dave Komornik	DIF	693
January 21, 2007	698	Let's Get Personnel	Send us some humorously creative questions that a job interviewer would ask an applicant, or some questions it might be fun to ask the interviewer.	Russell Beland	BUS	694
January 28, 2007	699	Our Greatest Hit	Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter, or transpose two letters; and define the new word.	Brendan Beary Barbara Turner	LET	695
February 4, 2007	700	Stump Us	Come up with someone's slogan for the 2008 presidential campaign.	Ira Allen	POL	696
February 11, 2007	701	Untitlement	Here are the covers for what just might be Bob Staake's next four books. What are they called and what are they about?	Andrea Kelly	CAR ART LIT	697
February 18, 2007	702	Unreal Facts	Come up with a comically false factoid.	Joseph Romm		698, 699
February 25, 2007		(We) Give Us a Break	The Empress takes a day off from judging to go lounge poolside in the Imperial Hammock, taking care first to don the Imperial Parka and Earmuffs and Moon Boots.			699	HTML   E
March 4, 2007	703	Freak Trade Agreements	Think of one thing to trade for another, and supply a short and funny explanation.	Rick Haynes		700
YEAR 15 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 11, 2007	704	Another Game of Tag	Create vanity plates for well-known people, real or fictional.	Phyllis Reinhard	CUL	701
March 18, 2007	705	Simile Outrageous	Come up with funny analogies, perhaps with some 21st-century references.	Jay Shuck	ANL	699
March 25, 2007	706	Questionable Journalism	Take any sentence that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from March 24 through April 2 and come up with a question it could answer.	Russell Beland	WAS QUE	702
April 1, 2007	707	What Would YOU Do?	Use only the words appearing in "The Cat in the Hat" to create your own work of "literature" of no more than 75 words.	Chris Doyle	WOR LIT	703
April 8, 2007	708	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two from a list of 100 of the horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal.	Mark Eckenwiler	HOR	704
April 15, 2007	709	A Return Engagement	Come up with some novel change to the tax code: a tax on something ought to be taxed, a credit for something that should be rewarded, what the $3 should go to instead of presidential campaigns, etc.	Ernie Staples	POL	705
April 22, 2007	710	Aw, Shoot	Send us a funny, clever, entirely original photo featuring kitchen utensils and/or small household tools.	Jeff Brechlin	PIX	706
April 29, 2007	711	Join Now!	Hyphenate the beginning and end of any two multi-syllabic words appearing anywhere in the April 29 or May 6 Style or Sunday Arts section, and then define the compound.	Dennis Lindsay	HYP WOR	707
May 6, 2007	712	Another Time Around the Track	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in the results of Week 708, and name THEIR foal.	Pam Sweeney	HOR	708
May 13, 2007	713	Painings	Name and interpret any of the provided paintings by Fred Dawson.	Glen Crawford	ART	709
May 20, 2007	714	Amalgamated Steal	Merge two or more company or product names into a new, ORIGINAL company or product.	Gregory Bartolett	BUS	710
May 27, 2007	715	Your Mug Here	Send us an idea for a slogan for the back of the new Loser T-shirt.	Russell Beland Chris Doyle Lawrence McGuire Beverley Sharp	TSH	711
June 3, 2007	716	The Hard Spell	Write a humorous poem featuring one of the 75 words we've selected rom this year's National Spelling Bee.	Brendan Beary	POE	712
June 10, 2007	717	Pitch Us a No-Hitter	Send us some genuine Googlenopes. A Googlenope is a phrase or very brief sentence that, entered into the Google search engine with quotation marks around it, produces no hits.	Malcolm Fleschner	GOO	713
June 17, 2007	718	Put Our Heads Together	Create a new, funny headline from the words of any headlines appearing anywhere in a single day's Washington Post (or on washingtonpost.com)	Mae Scanlan	HEA	714
June 24, 2007	719	We Har the World	Come up with a creative name for a sports team for a town or city anywhere outside the United States.	Elwood Fitzner	ATH	715
July 1, 2007	720	The Course of Humor Events	Sum up a historical event in a two-line rhyme or other clever and pithy epigram.	Chris Doyle	POE HIS	716
July 8, 2007	721	Know Your Market	For any of the provided photos, supply two captions: one that would appeal to The Style Invitational and one that would appear to the Harrisburg Patriot-News.	Ben Aronin	CAP STY	717
July 15, 2007	722	Let's Play Nopardy!	We supply 12 phrases and you get to provide questions they might answer. The phrases were entries in our Week 717 contest, which asked for Googlenopes -- phrases that showed no previous hits from the Google search engine.	Steve Ettinger		718
July 22, 2007	723	Name Your Poison	Create a name and recipe for a cocktail and, if you like, describe when it might be served.	Roy Ashley		719
July 29, 2007	724	Abridged Too Far	Sum up a book, play or movie in a humorous rhyming verse of two to four lines.	Ellen Raphaeli	POE LIT MOV	720	HTML
August 5, 2007	725	Beggars For Description	Describe, without being boring, a cartoon to fit any of the provided captions.	Cy Gardner	CAR	721	HTML
August 12, 2007	726	Limerixicon 4	Supply a humorous limerick based on any word in the dictionary beginning with cl- through co-.	Chris Strolin	LIM WOR	722	HTML
August 19, 2007	727	We Get a C-Section	Tell us some pros and cons of moving The Style Invitational to the Saturday Style section; or write us up some free promo-ad copying announcing the move.	Seth Brown	STY	723	HTML
August 25, 2007	728	Tour de Fours IV	Coin and definea humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order you like -- the letters S, A, T and R.	Tom Witte	LET	724	HTML
September 1, 2007	729	Otherwordly Visions	Take any sentence in an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 1 through Sept. 10 and translate it into "plain English."	Russ Taylor	WAS WOR	725	HTML
September 8, 2007	730	Time-Wastes For Everyman	Describe activities that make entering The Style Invitational seem like a constructive use of one's time.	Anne Paris	STY	726	HTML
September 15, 2007	731	Doo Process	Describe for us a wildly inefficient and ridiculous way to produce or prepare an ordinary dish or beverage.	Ellen Raphaeli		727	HTML
September 22, 2007	732	The Chain Gang	Supply a chain of 25 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "George W. Bush."	Danny Bravman	POL	728	HTML
September 29, 2007	733	Just Drop It, Okay?	Drop the first letter from an actual word or term to make a new word or term, and define it.	Deanna Busick	LET WOR	729	HTML
October 6, 2007	734	Turnaround Time	Write a rhyming couplet containing two words that are anagrams of each other.	Brendan Beary	POE ANA	730	HTML
October 13, 2007	735	Look Back in Inker	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 680 through Week 731.	Anne Paris	PRE	731	html
October 20, 2007	736	So, Should I Drive Like Your Brother?	Ask a car-related question that would make the Car Guys crack up. If you're not into cars, you can also post a question for advice columnist Ask Amy or etiquette columnist Miss Manners.	Chris Rollins	QUE	732	html
October 27, 2007	737	No River, No Woods	Send us a funny parody of a well-known song, with lyrics that commemorate an occasion other than Christmas or Hanukkah.	Brendan Beary	POE HIS	733	html
November 3, 2007	738	So What's To Liken?	Take any two items from the utterly random list above and explain how they are different or how they are similar.	Chuck Smith	DIF	734	html
November 10, 2007	739	Lies, All Lies	Give us some humorous fictional revelation about a current or past political figure.	Joel Knanishu	HIS POL	735	html
November 17, 2007	740	Give Us a Hint	Offer clues in various situations that something isn't working out well.	Ben Aronin		736	html
November 24, 2007	741	Well, What Do You Know?	Tell us what Major Life Lessons can be derived from any of these venues or situations.	Fred Dawson		737	html
December 1, 2007	742	Clue Us In	Give us a whole new set of clues to a crossword puzzle penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache.	John O'Byrne	CRO	738	html
December 8, 2007	743	Picture This	Write a caption for any of these Bob Staake cartoons.	Roger Dalrymple	CAR	739	html
December 15, 2007	744	You OED Us One	Make up a humorous and false definition for any of the words listed below.	Bill Spencer	WOR	740	html
December 22, 2007	745	Hurry Up and Slow Down!	Suggest particular ways that would slow life down, or ways that would speed it up.	Christopher Lamora	CUL	741	html
December 29, 2007	746	We Err The World	Give us a motto or short slogan for any country in the world.	Thomas Murphy	SLO POL	742	html
January 5, 2008	747	Boeing Us Silly	Suggest some comical ways to improve air travel, either in general or for yourself.	Beverley Sharp	CUL	743
January 12, 2008	748	Dead Letters	Write a humorous poem about a well-known personage who died in 2007.	Brendan Beary	POE EPI	744	html
January 19, 2008	749	Opus 266, No. 3	Take any common word or two-word term beginning with any letter from A through H and give it a new definition.	Peter Metrinko Pie Snelson	LET	745	html
January 26, 2008	750	Hit Us With Your Best Shot: Photo Contest No. 4	Illustrate, any way you like, any of the provided five captions with your own original photo.	Jeff Brechlin	PIX	746
February 2, 2008	751	Strike Gold	Slightly change the name of an existing or former TV show to create a program that can scab the writers' strike.	Wilson Varga	TEL	747	html
February 9, 2008	752	The Might-Mates Right	Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates.	Kevin Dopart	JOK	748	html
February 16, 2008	753	Hot Off The Riddle	Supply a simple riddle and both the wholesome answer and the (printable) Invitational answer.		JOK	749	html
February 23, 2008	753a	Get In Your Last Shot: Photo Contest's Final Days	No new contest this week. While the sun never seems to set on the Empress, even she ventures outside the Forbidden City once in a while.			749	HTML
March 1, 2008	754	Canny Similarities	Cite a humorous "uncanny similarity" between any two of the very different people listed above.	Kelton Vincent Larry Yungk	DIF	751	html
YEAR 16 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 8, 2008	755	Take Another 'Whack	Send us a phrase of two or more words that produces exactly one Web page on the Google search engine and describe the phrase.	Michael Levy	GOO	752	html
March 15, 2008	756	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from March 15 through 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	Christopher Lamora	HEA	750	html
March 22, 2008	757	Gorey Thoughts From A to Z	Send us some rhyming alphabet-primer couplets.	Beth Baniszewski	POE LET	753	html
March 29, 2008	758	Wrong Address	Using any of the words of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, in whatever order you like, create your own passage.	Barry Koch	HIS WOR	754	html
April 5, 2008	759	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two of the 100 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown and provide an appropriate name for their foal.	Cy Gardner	HOR	755
April 12, 2008	760	Whacky Buildup	Describe any of these Googlewhacks in the form of a question, "Jeopardy"-style.	Kevin Dopart	GOO JEO	756
April 19, 2008	761	Strip Mining	Supply the text for any or all three of these Bob Staake comic strips.	Randy Lee	CAR	757
April 26, 2008	762	Look This Up in Your Funk & Wagnalls	Supply the pair of terms listed at the top of a page of any print dictionary to indicate the first and last listings on the page, and define that hyphenated term.	Pam Dalrymple	WOR	758
May 3, 2008	763	Another Time Around the Track	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name THEIR foal.	Kevin Dopart Pam Sweeney	HOR	759
May 10, 2008	764	Can You Up Chuck?	Come up with entirely new and funny Chuck Norris Facts.	Robert Gallagher	CUL	760
May 17, 2008	765	It's Doo-Dah Day	Write humorous lyrics commemorating any of the 50 states of the District, set to any of these Stephen Foster songs.	Barry Koch	POE POL	761
May 24, 2008	766	Think to Shudder	Come up with scenarios that are even more awkward (and more imaginative) than the wincers mentioned above.	David Prevar		762
May 31, 2008	767	Questionable Journalism	Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from May 31 through June 9 and come up with a question it might answer.	Beverley Sharp	WAS QUE	763
June 7, 2008	768	The Events Described Herein Are Entirely Fictitious	Come up with fictitious movie trivia.	Russell Beland	MOV	764
June 14, 2008	769	Splice Work If You Can Get It	Combine two words -- overlapping by at least two letters -- into what's know by polysyllabic types as a portmanteau word, and by the rest of us as mash word, and define it.	Rick Haynes	WOR	765
June 21, 2008	770	A Knack for Anachronism	Take a famous historical moment, literary passage, or movie scene and place it in an entirely different age.	Rick Haynes Peter Metrinko	HIS LIT MOV	766
June 28, 2008	771	Groaner's Manuals	Come up with a humorous name for a guide or manual for, or a book about, a particular enterprise or organization.	Beverley Sharp	WOR BUS	767
July 5, 2008	772	Make It Simile, Stupid	Translate a sentence or two of literature or other good writing so that "Los Angeles residents under 40" can appreciate it.	Mike Ostapiej	LAN LIT CUL	768
July 12, 2008	773	Always Looking for Sects	Coin a religion or belief system and tell us its basic tenet or distinguishing characteristic.	Lawrence McGuire	REL	769	html
July 19, 2008	774	Tour De Forks	Supply a name for a restaurant dish named after someone (or some product or organization) and describe it.	Kevin Dopart	BUS CUL	770
July 26, 2008	775	Ad-dition	Combine the beginning and end of any two words appearing in any single advertisement in The Post or on washingtonpost.com, from today through Aug. 4, and then define the new word.	Beth Morgan	HYP WOR	771
August 2, 2008	776	An Act of Sunny Side	Note the silver lining in some otherwise disappointing turn of events.	Drew Bennett		772
August 9, 2008	777	Limerixicon 5	Supply a humorous limerick featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters da-.	Chris Doyle	LIM WOR	773
August 16, 2008	778	Tied Games	Combine any two sports or nonathletic activities into a single sport or game.	Hugh Pullen	ATH	774
August 23, 2008	779	Gripe for the Picking	Rant about any issue that wouldn't make your top 100 for airing in The Post.	Chris Rollins	WAS	775
August 30, 2008	780	Location, Location, Location	Say how you know you're in a particular place.	Brendan Beary		776
September 6, 2008	781	Our Greatest Hit	Start with a word or multi-word term that begins with I, J, K or L; either add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose tow adjacent letters; and define the new word.	Barry Koch	LET WOR	777
September 13, 2008	782	That's the Ticket!	Explain why any of the items on the list below is qualified to be President of the United States.	Rick Wood	POL	778
September 20, 2008	783	The Shill Game	Name a celebrity or fictional character to endorse a real product or company.	Marty McCullen	BUS CUL	779
September 27, 2008	784	Words to The Wiseacres	Give us some proverbs for 21st-century life.	Michael Dailey	CUL	780
October 4, 2008	785	The Ballad Box	Write a short, humorous song somehow relating to the presidential campaign, set to a familiar tune.	Andy Pike Barb Sarshik	POE POL	781
October 11, 2008	786	Top of the Staake	So get your thoughts provoked for No. Umpteen of our cartoon caption contest.	Ned Bent	CAR	782
October 18, 2008	787	Tour de Fours V	Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters M, N and E.	Tom Witte	LET WOR	783
October 25, 2008	788	The Back End of a Bulwer	Give us a comically terrible ending of a novel.	LuAnn Bishop	LIT	784
November 1, 2008	789	Doctrine in The House?	State a humorous, original "doctrine" for a person or other entity.	Kevin Mellema	POL	785
November 8, 2008	790	If Only!	Explain how the world would be different had some event not occurred.	Chris Doyle	POL HIS CUL	786
November 15, 2008	791	The 1K Club	Supply a chain of 20 names -- they may be names of people, places, organizations, products, etc., but they must be names -- beginning and ending with "Chris Doyle."	Brendan Beary	STY	787
November 22, 2008	792	Clue Us In	Compile a set of funny alternative clues to a crossword penned by Ace Constructor Paula Gamache.	Judith Cottrill	CRO	788
November 29, 2008	793	Take The Fifth	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 725 through Week 789. Each entry must include the word "five" of "fifth" or something fiveish, or -- depending on your favorite anniversary tradition -- something involving (a) wood or (b) silverware.	Rob Cohen	PRE	789
December 6, 2008	794	Ripped Off From the Headlines	Send us some Onion-type headlines.	Malcolm Fleschner	HEA	790
December 13, 2008	795	Stimulate Us	Tell us what the government ought to be spending our money on.	Russ Taylor	POL	791
December 20, 2008	796	Sincerest Flattery	Make up a pun on a familiar name of a real of fictional person and provide a fitting description or quote.	Christopher Lamora	JOK	792
December 27, 2008	797	Be Resolute	Make a humorous resolution for some particular person or institution to accomplish next year.	Christopher Lamora	POL BUS	793
January 3, 2009	798	Dead Letters	Write a humorous poem commemorating someone who died in 2008.	Jeff Brechlin	POE EPI	794
January 10, 2009	799	Send Us the Bill	Come up with legislation that, given their names, two or more freshman senators or representatives might sponsor together.	Dudley Thompson	LEG	795
January 17, 2009	800	Compairison	Briefly define or sum up an existing word or short phrase, then change it very slightly and do the same with the result.	Lawrence McGuire	WOR	796
January 24, 2009	801	Ask Backwards	You are on "Jeopardy!" Here are the answers. You supply one or more of the questions.	Kevin Dopart	JEO	797
January 31, 2009	802	Dreck TV	Suggest a new cable TV channel, with a description or example of its programming.	John O'Byrne	TEL	798
February 7, 2009	803	The Pepys Show	Write a humorous diary or journal entry for someone, famous or not, for any point in history.	Jeff Brechlin	HIS	799
February 14, 2009	804	Our Type o' Joke	Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com between Feb. 14 and 23, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead) or a brief first sentence of an article that would run under it.	Jay Shuck	HEA	800
February 21, 2009	805	Brand Eccchs	Give us an original name in any of the above categories (not an actual badly named product).	Cy Gardner	BUS	801
February 28, 2009	806	DQ Very Much	Give us a phrase or sentence that would nip a potential relationship in the bud (or elsewhere).	Greg Dobbins Ed Gordon Peter Metrinko		802
YEAR 17 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 7, 2009	807	Pretty Graphic Expressions	Express some insight as an equation or other mathematical expression.	Phyllis Reinhard	SCI	803
March 14, 2009	808	Take Us At Our Words	Create a humorous poem or other writing using only the words contained in this week's Style Invitational column or results.	Russell Beland	POE WOR STY	804
March 21, 2009	809	Unkindest Cutlines	Supply cutlines, or captions, for any of these newspaper photos.	Elizabeth Molye	CAP	805
March 28, 2009	810	What Kind of Foal Am I?	Breed any two of the more than 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races and provide an appropriate name for their foal.	Jonathan Paul	HOR	806
April 4, 2009	811	Rock-Bottom Lines	Tell us a sign that the economy couldn't get worse.	John Russell Tuohy	BUS CUL	807
April 11, 2009	812	Rx-Related Humor	Offer up some entirely false medical or psychological "fact."	Stephen Dudzik	SCI	808
April 18, 2009	813	Aw, Shocks	Give us a humorous example of the "shocking -- not."	Jeff Hazle		809
April 25, 2009	814	There Will Be Bloodline	Breed any two of the winning "offspring" included in this week's results, and name their foal.	Lois Douthitt Jennifer Rubio	HOR	810
May 2, 2009	815	Wittecisms	Create an original word containing -- in any order -- at least a W, and I, two T's and an E.	Tom Witte	LET WOR	811
May 9, 2009	816	Googillions	Come up with an original phrase that generates at least 1 million listings on a Google search.	Jeff Brechlin	GOO	812
May 16, 2009	817	Flopflip	Reverse the first half and second half of a word or name and define the result.	Erik Wennstrom	WOR	813
May 23, 2009	818	Name the Day	Cite an actual holiday or one of those silly commemorative days, weeks or months for which you can find previous evidence, and supply a snarky description or slogan.	Don Kirkpatrick	CUL	814
May 30, 2009	819	Art Re-View	These objects are not what they seem to be, at first glance. They are something else entirely. What are they?	Brendan Beary	CAR	815
June 6, 2009	820	Be Mister Language Person	Supply a Mister Language Person-type question and answer.	Kevin Dopart	LAN QUE	816
June 13, 2009	821	Spit the Difference	How are any of the items on the list above alike or different?	Dan Ramish	DIF	817
June 20, 2009	822	For Real Folks	Suggest some attractions for a Festival of Real American Folklife.	Wayne Rodgers	CUL	818
June 27, 2009	823	Wryku	Compose a humorous (or at least wry or clever) haiku.	Dave Zarrow	POE	819
July 4, 2009	824	Jestinations	Give us a slogan for any city or town.	Jay Shuck	SLO POL	820
July 11, 2009	825	Disinstrumentals	Write some words to music that has no words.	Chris Doyle	POE MUS	821	E
July 18, 2009	826	The Inside Word	Take any word -- this may include the name of a person or place -- put a portion of it in quotation marks, and redefine the word.	Mike Ostapiej	WOR	822	E
July 25, 2009	827	Caller Idiot	Name a real product or company and supply a stupid question or complaint for the consumer hotline person.	Jeff Hazle	BUS QUE	823	E
August 1, 2009	828	Inhuman Puns	Make a pun on the name of a familiar group, organization or company, and describe it or provide a quote from it.	Craig Dykstra	BUS JOK WOR	824
August 8, 2009	829	Limerixicon 6	Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters di-.	Andrew Burnet	LIM WOR LET	825	E
August 15, 2009	830	Mess With Our Heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Aug. 14 through Aug. 24 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	Beverley Sharp	HEA	826
August 22, 2009	831	A Big To-Do	Name a "bucket list" item for a well-known real or fictional character.	Rick Haynes	LIT	827
August 29, 2009	832	Clue Us In	You supply one or more clues for the words in a filled-in grid.	Jim Lubell	CRO	828
September 5, 2009	833	Our Greatest Hit	Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with M, N, O, or P; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word.	Pam Sweeney	WOR LET	829
September 12, 2009	834	Fractured Compounds	Combine two full words within any single article appearing in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com into a hyphenated compound word, and define or otherwise describe the result.	Sylvia Betts	HYP WOR	830
September 19, 2009	835	Tour de Fours VI	Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters T, H, R, and E.	Tom Witte	LET	831
September 26, 2009	836	Other People's Business	Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice.	Bruce Alter	POL BUS REL	832
October 3, 2009	837	Strip Search	Combine two comic strips that appear in The Washington Post or at washingtonpost.com/comics and describe the results.	Craig Dykstra	WAS COM	833
October 10, 2009	838	Picture This	Provide a caption for any of these pictures.	Andrew Hoenig	CAP	834
October 17, 2009	839	Overlap Dance	Overlap two words that share two or more consecutive letters -- anywhere in the word, not just at the beginning or end -- into a single longer word, and define it. AND your portmanteau word must begin with a letter from A through D.	Patricia Casey	LET WOR	835
October 24, 2009	840	Frittering away the neurons	Give us some more colorfully useful phrases; they don't have to be in the X'ing-the-Y form.	Elwood Fitzner		836
October 31, 2009	841	Food for naught	Alter the name of a food or dish slightly and describe the result.	Dave Zarrow		837
November 7, 2009	842	Ask backwards	Here are your 12 possible answers. Tell us your joke in the form of a question, please.	Judy Blanchard	JOK JEO	838
November 14, 2009	843	Prefrains	Provide a sentence or two of lead-in to the first line of a well-known book, poem, or song.	Stephen Dudzik	LIT MUS POE	839
November 21, 2009	844	Healthy choice	Enter any Style Invitational from Week 790 through Week 840, except for Week 793 and Week 798.	John Shea	PRE	840
November 28, 2009	845	Reologisms	Write a description for any of 50 genuine Loser-created neologisms.	Russell Beland	WOR	841
December 5, 2009	846	Season's gratings	Write a brief (50 words or fewer) holiday letter from a personage from past or present, or from fiction.	Peter Metrinko	HIS LIT	842
December 12, 2009	847	Questionable journalism	Find any sentence (or a substantive part of a sentence) that appears in The Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com from Dec. 11 through Dec. 21 and come up with a question it might answer.	George Vary	WAS QUE	843
December 19, 2009	848	Up and addin'	Compose a humorous rhopalic sentence (or multiple sentences) in which each word is one letter longer than the previous word.	Chris Doyle	LET WOR	844
December 26, 2009	849	Homonymphomania	Create a new homonym (or homophone) for any existing word and define it.	Christopher Lamora	WOR	845
January 2, 2010	850	Dead letters	Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2009.	Brendan Beary	POE EPI	846
January 9, 2010	851	Going to the shrink	Downsize the title of a book, movie or play to make it smaller or less momentous and describe it.	Adam Beland Russell Beland	LIT MOV	847	html
January 16, 2010	852	Small, Let's get	Write a rhopalic sentence (or fanciful newspaper headline) in which each successive word is one letter shorter.	Jeffrey Contompasis	LET WOR	848	html
January 23, 2010	853	It's easy as DEF	Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward.	John Glenn	LET WOR	849	html
January 30, 2010	854	What's not to liken?	Produce one or more similes in any of the following categories.	Russ Taylor		850	html
February 6, 2010	855	The news could be verse	Sum up an article (or even an ad!) in any Washington Post print or online edition from Feb. 6 through Feb. 15 in verse.	David Smith	POE WAS	851	html
February 13, 2010	856	Titled Puerility	Here are some untitled book covers. For any of them, tell us a title and synopsis of a book that will never by published.	Jeffrey Contompasis	ART LIT	852	html
February 20, 2010	857	All FED Up	Create a brand-new word of phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet -- but the series must go backward through the alphabet.	Tom Witte	LET	853	html
February 27, 2010	858	Same OED	Make up a false definition for any of the words listed below.	Michael Gips	WOR	854	html
March 6, 2010	859	Can't goods	Cast a joke in one of the forms listed above.	Beverley Sharp	JOK	855	html
YEAR 18 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 13, 2010	860	Ten, Anyone?	Humorously define or describe something or someone in exactly 10 words.	Phil Frankenfeld	WOR	856	html
March 20, 2010	861	It's incumbent upon us	Combine the names of two or more freshman members of Congressman to create "joint legislation." This week's pool of legislators includes only those who were elected to their seats before 1994, the first year we ran the freshman contest.	Jonathan Paul	LEG	857	html
March 27, 2010	862	Be cheerful	Send us a cheer or fight song for any pro sports team or any national team.		POE MUS ATH	858	html
April 3, 2010	863	It's Post time	Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal.	Pam Sweeney	HOR	859	html
April 10, 2010	864	Oonerspisms	Spoonerize a single word or a name by transposing different part of the word (more than two adjacent letters), and define the resultant new term.	Ann Martin	WOR	860	html
April 17, 2010	865	No Googlenopes left	Come up with a humorous Googlenope.	Mark Richardson	GOO	861	html
April 24, 2010	866	Natalie Portmanteau	Begin with a real name; append to it a word, name or expression so that they overlap; and finally define (humorously, of course) the resulting phrase.	Malcolm Fleschner	WOR	862	html
May 1, 2010	867	Back in the saddle	Breed any two of the foals in today's results -- OR one foal with one of the actual horses used in today's entries, and name the grandfoal.	Barry Koch	HOR	863	html
May 8, 2010	868	Count the ways	Give us some musings of a technical wonk.	Jeffrey Contompasis	SCI	864	html
May 15, 2010	869	Clue us in	Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid.	Dana Austin	CRO	865	html
May 22, 2010	870	Let's play Nopardy	Describe any of the above phrases in the form of a question.	Russell Beland	QUE	866	html
May 29, 2010	871	Remarquees	Change a movie title by one letter (or number, if the title includes a number) and describe the new film.	Gary Crockett	LET MOV	867	html
June 5, 2010	872	Har Monikers	Combine the first parts of each word in a famous person's or character's name -- in order -- and define it or use it in a sentence that somehow refers to its source.	Cliff Kellogg	WOR	868	html
June 12, 2010	873	Back to Square 1A	Replace the shaded letters in this grid with your own letters to come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you make up -- and define it humorously.	Cathy Lamaze	CRO	869	html
June 19, 2010	874	Stat Us	Write a funny Facebook status line.	Dudley Thompson	CUL	870	html
June 26, 2010	875	Fail Us	Give us a funny Learn From My Fail-type lesson, 30 words or fewer, true or not, in your own words or attributed to a famous personage.	Drew Bennett	CUL	871	html
July 3, 2010	876	Oilies but goodies	Write lyrics somehow related to the oil spill, set to an existing tune.	Mae Scanlan	POE MUS	872	html
July 10, 2010	877	Quipped from the headlines	Write a rhyming couplet about some matter in the news.	Brendan Beary	POE CUL	873	html
July 17, 2010	878	Safety in blunders	Tell us a way to make the nation more secure.	Jon Graft	SCI POL	874	html
July 24, 2010	879	Say Venn	Express some sentiment in the form of a Venn diagram.	Russell Beland		875	html
July 31, 2010	880	Our greatest hit	Start with a real word or multi-word term or name that begins with Q, R or S; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter with another, or transpose two adjacent letters; and define the new word.	Lennie Magida	WOR LET	876	html
August 7, 2010	881	What's in a name?	Take the name of a person or institution. Find within it a hidden message.	Russell Beland	LET BUS POL	877	html
August 14, 2010	882	Limerixicon VII	Supply a humorous limerick prominently featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters dr-.	Carole Lyons	LIM LET	878	html
August 21, 2010	883	Same difference	Choose any two items from the list above and exp	Craig Dykstra	DIF	879	html
August 28, 2010		Not this week, honey	No new contest this week -- it's the first break that the Empress has given the Obsessive Losers since February 2008.			880	HTML   E
September 4, 2010	884	Rekindling the spork	Combine two devices or other products to make a new one.	Scott Weinstein	BUS	881	html
September 11, 2010	885	Mess with our heads	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head."	Elden Carnahan	HEA	882	html
September 18, 2010	886	Look both ways	Give us a new term that's a palindrome and define it.	Tom Flaherty	WOR	883	html
September 25, 2010	887	Plus-Fours	Write a limerick whose third or fourth line is one of those listed above.	Stephen Gold	LIM	880, 882	html
October 2, 2010	888	It's the eponymy, stupid	Coin a word or expression based on the name of a well-known person, define it, and perhaps use it in a sentence	Jeffrey Contompasis	WOR	884	html
October 9, 2010	889	Tour de Fours VII	Coin and define a humorous word that includes -- with no other letters between them, but in any order -- the letters P, O, L and E.	Chris Doyle	LET WOR	885	html
October 16, 2010	890	Double-teaming	Combine the names of any two pro sports teams -- even from different sports -- and describe the result.	Keith Maynard	ATH	886	html
October 23, 2010	891	Mirror, Mirror	Write a word-palindrome sentence, in which the first and last words are the same; the second and next-to-last, etc.	Peter Jenkins	WOR	887	html
October 30, 2010	892	Get a move on	Change the location of something for humorous effect. Provide an explanation if you wish.	Drew Bennett		888	html
November 6, 2010	893	Give us a hint	Write a humorously witty story in 25 words or fewer.	Jeffrey Contompasis	WOR	889	html
November 13, 2010	894	Look Back in Inker	Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844).	Craig Dykstra	PRE	890	html
November 20, 2010	895	Picture this	Supply a caption for any of these cartoons.	Douglas Frank	CAR	891	html
November 27, 2010	896	Other people's business	Describe what might happen if any of the above institutions (a) were run by an institution of your choice or (b) ran an institution of your choice.	Larry Yungk	BUS REL POL	892	html
December 4, 2010	897	Catch their drift	Take any sentence from an article of ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Dec. 3 to Dec. 13 and translate it into "plain English."	Danny Bravman	WAS LAN	893	html
December 11, 2010	898	Pre-current events	Predict some humorous news event that would happen in 2011.	Arthur Adams	CUL	894	html
December 18, 2010	899	Clue us in	Send us funny, clever clues for any of the words already in this grid.	Kevin Dopart	CRO	895	html
December 25, 2010	900	Dear us!	Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead.	Chris Doyle		896	html
January 1, 2011	901	Dead Letters	Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2010.	Christopher Lamora	POE EPI	897	html
January 8, 2011	902	What's the good news?	Take any sentence, or substantive part of a sentence, or a headline from an article or ad in The Washington Post or washingtonpost.com from Jan. 7 to Jan. 18 and make it sound upbeat (or not so bad).	Dixon Wragg	WAS	898	html
January 15, 2011	903	Bill us now	Combine the names of two or more members of Congress as co-sponsors of a bill.	Jeff Brechlin	LEG	899	html
January 23, 2011	904	We move on back	Move the first letter in a word or name to the end of that word and define the resulting word.	Marian Carlsson Dave Garratt	LET WOR	900	html
January 30, 2011	905	Anticdotes	Give us an untrue anecdote responding to one of these past Editor's Query topics.	Gary Crockett	WAS	901	html
February 6, 2011	906	Your mug here	Give us a new design for the Loser Mug.	Edmund Conti Michael Gips Howard Walderman	STY	902	html   E
February 13, 2011	907	Naming rite	Come up with a creative, somehow fitting sponsor for some public facility or part of one.	Tom Panther		903	html
February 20, 2011		Give it a rest	No new contest this week.			904	HTML   E
February 27, 2011	908	Recast away	Fire an actor or actress from a movie or TV show, past or present, and offer a replacement for the role.	Gary Crockett	MOV TEL	904	html
March 6, 2011	909	Reprizing	Suggest humorous uses for one or more of the items above, alone or in combination.	Kevin Dopart	CAR	905	html   E
YEAR 19 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 13, 2011	910	Your ad here	Slightly alter an advertising slogan so that someone else could use it.	Rachel Braun	SLO BUS	906	html
March 20, 2011	911	Help!	Create a short humorous dialogue -- or a monologue featuring one party -- of a phone call to 911, or a call for help to someone else.	Russell Beland		907	html
March 27, 2011	912	Pair-a-phrase	Lift a word that appears inside a longer word; pair it with the original word to create a phrase; and define it.	Michael Reinemer	WOR	908	html
April 3, 2011	913	Bring up the rear	Move the last letter of an existing word or name to the front of the word, and define the new term.	Kyle Bonney	LET	909	html
April 10, 2011	914	Foaling around	Breed any two of 100 of the almost 400 horses eligible for this year's Triple Crown races, and name the foal.	Jonathan Paul	HOR	910	html
April 17, 2011	915	Picture this	Write a caption for any of the cartoons pictured here.	Jack Hingel	CAR	911	html
April 24, 2011	916	Bank shots	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from April 22 through May and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	John Shea	HEA	912	html
May 1, 2011	917	Wryku	Write a haiku--a sentiment that can be broken into three lines with exactly five syllables in the first lien, seven in the second, five in the third--on any subject that's been in the news in the last couple of weeks.	Danny Bravman	POE CUL	913	html
May 8, 2011	918	Colt Following	Breed any two "foals" in today's results, or one foal with one of the real horse names used in today's entries--and name the "grandfoal." The name may not exceed 18 characters, including spaces, and your entry shouldn't remotely duplicate any of today's results.	Pam Sweeney	HOR	914	html
May 15, 2011	919	Good Luck With 13	Alter a 13-letter word, phrase or name by one letter (add a letter, drop a letter, switch two letters somewhere in the word, or substitute one letter for another) and describe the result.	David Ballard	LET	915	html
May 22, 2011	920	Sarchiasm	Write an original chaismus, in which the elements of a phrase are inverted for comedic effect.	John Shea	WOR	916	html
May 29, 2011	921	Give Us Willies	Write an original Little Willie poem, perhaps reflecting our current era. This is a venerable four-line genre in which Master W. does some nasty thing and doesn't tend to learn to be a Good Boy by poem's end.	Kevin Dopart	POE	917	html
June 5, 2011	922	A Banner Week	Write entirely new, humorous lyrics to the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner”; they can be on any subject.	Gary Crockett	POE	918	html
June 12, 2011	923	Chemical Wordfare	Create a new chemical element or other chemical term.	Christopher Lamora	SCI	919	html
June 19, 2011	924	Doomed to repeat it	Create "Unreal Facts" about history.	Judy Blanchard	HIS	920	html
June 26, 2011	925	A remeaning task	Redefine a word in the dictionary beginning with I through O.	Jamie Pazur	LET WOR	921	html
July 3, 2011	926	Outrageous fortunes	Come up with a fortune cookie line that you'd like to see.	Ward Kay		922	html
July 10, 2011	927	Drive-By Shoutings	Write a very short four-line “poem” promoting a product or company, or offering advice to drivers; the poem must rhyme, in ABAB or ABCB rhyme scheme. A fifth, non-rhyming line may state the product name or a conclusion.	Beverley Sharp	POE BUS	923	E
July 17, 2011	928	Play feature	Use the title of a movie as the answer to a riddle or other question.	Tom Witte	MOV QUE	924	html
July 24, 2011	929	Now sit right back ...	Write a funny song introducing a TV show, past or present.	Nan Reiner	MUS TEL	925	E
July 31, 2011	930	We WANT stupid complaints!	Complain comically unreasonably about some innocuous thing appearing in the print Post or on washingtonpost.com over the next week or the previous few days.	Peter Jenkins	WAS	926	html
August 7, 2011	931	Limerixicon 8	Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters ea- through -el.	Chris Doyle	LIM	927	html
August 14, 2011	932	We'll call them your-mama jokes	Tell us an original "your mama" joke.	Ben Aronin	CUL	928	html
August 21, 2011	933	Stories that count (to 56)	Write a humorous story in exactly 56 words.		WOR	929	html
August 28, 2011	934	Same difference	Explain how any two items in the provided list are similar or different.	Rob Huffman	DIF	930	html
September 4, 2011	935	The 400 blows	Write a humorous poem--choose your form--about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event.	Matt Monitto	POE CUL	931	html
September 11, 2011	936	Hoho contendere	Slightly alter a well-known foreign-language term and define it.	Greg Deye	LAN WOR	932	html
September 18, 2011	937	Staake it to him	Write a caption for any of the five pages or details pictured from some of Bob's more than 50 picture books.	Stephen Dudzik	CAR ART LIT	933	html
September 25, 2011	938	Free and Lear	Write a limerick using the first two lines of any of Edward Lear's 115 limericks plus your own remaining three lines.	Hugh Thirlway	LIM	934	html
October 2, 2011	939	MASH 2: The Retread	Combine two movie titles and describe the result.	Kathye Hamilton	MOV	935	html
October 9, 2011	940	Our type o' headline	Change a headline by one letter, or switch two letters, or change spacing or punctuation, in a headline (or most of a headline) appearing on an article or ad in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Oct. 7 through Oct. 17, and elaborate on it in a "bank" headline (subhead).	Kevin Dopart	HEA LET	936	html
October 16, 2011	941	They don't say!	Give us a quote that a particular person, present or past, real or fictional, sooo wouldn't have said.	Larry Flynn	HIS	937	html
October 23, 2011	942	Singular ideas	Give us an idea for a contest for which there's likely only one good entry.	Beverley Sharp	STY	938	html
October 30, 2011	943	Ask backward XXIX	You are on "Jeopardy!" You supply the questions for as many of the provided answers as you like.	Danny Bravman	JEO	939	html
November 6, 2011	944	Uh, yeah, it's just you	Give us one or more "Is it just me" questions.	Neal Starkman	QUE	940	html
November 13, 2011	945	Laugh-baked ideas	Cleverly depict a person, event or phenomenon of the 21st century — real history as well as scenes from movies, books, videos, etc. — using edible materials, and send us a photo of your creation.	Alethea Dopart Kevin Dopart	PIX HIS MOV LIT	941	html
November 20, 2011	946	Another round of Bierce	Write a clever definition of a word, name or multi-word term.	Melissa Balmain	WOR	942	html
November 27, 2011	947	Tour de Fours VIII: Neologisms	Come up with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but with no other letters between them, and define it.	Eric Fritz	LET WOR	943	html
December 4, 2011	948	Look back in Inker	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 891 through 94 (except for Week 896, which was the same contest for the previous year).	David Prevar	PRE	944	html
December 11, 2011	949	Putting the SAT in satire	Give us an analogy using "a is to b as x is to y."	Edmund Conti	WOR	946	html
December 18, 2011	950	Of all the nerve!	Give us a humorous example of hypothetical chutzpah.	Nan Reiner		945	html
December 25, 2011	951	Say that again	Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it.	Kathy Fraeman	WOR	947	html
January 1, 2012	952	Dead Letters	Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2011.	Stephen Gold	POE EPI	948	html
January 8, 2012	953	Clue us in	Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and multi-word terms in the crossword puzzle that's already run in The Post.	Seth Brown	CRO	949	html
January 15, 2012	954	Bring on the 'fight' jokes	Tell us an original joke ending with “And then the fight started.”	David Genser	JOK	950
January 22, 2012	955	Twits' twist	Create a phrase by combining a word or phrase with an anagram of that word or phrase, and define or describe it.	Nancy Schwalb	ANA WOR	951	html
January 29, 2012	956	Give us some bad ideas	Finish any of the provided "You know" phrases.	Noah Meyerson		952	html
February 5, 2012	957	Fearful Symmetry	Write a clever passage who successive words are on letter longer until the middle of the passage, and then become one letter shorter.	Bird Waring	LET WOR	953	html
February 12, 2012	958	All's Weller	Write a "wellerism," a sentence that starts with a quote, often a short proverb, and goes on to include some sort of wordplay on something in the quote.	Jason Russo	WOR	954	html
February 19, 2012	959	Out of network	Move a current or former TV program (or type of programming) to a different network and explain what would change.	Kurt Stahl	TEL	955	html
February 26, 2012	960	Raving reviews	Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon.	Melissa Balmain	BUS CUL	956	html
March 4, 2012	961	The end of our rhops	Write a funny passage or headline whose words all have the same number of letters.	Chris Doyle	LET HEA WOR	957	html
YEAR 20 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 11, 2012	962	Questionable journalism	Take any sentence (or a mjaor part of it) that appears in the Post or in an article on washingtonpost.com anytime from now through March 19 and supply a question it could answer.	Cathy Lamaze	WAS QUE	958	html
March 18, 2012	963	The overlap dance	Send us a Before & After "person" who name combines two people's names, real or fictional (okay, you can use animals' names, too), and describe the person in a funny way.	Gil Glass	WOR	959	html
March 25, 2012	964	The Grossery Bag?	Suggest a design and/or slogan to go on the side of the ardently desired Style Invitational Loser Bag.	Melissa Balmain	SLO STY	960	html
April 1, 2012	965	Foaling around	Breed any two of the horses in this year's Triple Crown races and name their foal.	Susan Thompson	HOR	961	html   E
April 8, 2012	966	Inkremental change	Start with any word or name, and create a series of words that change by one letter at a time, until you come up with a related word or name.	Dave Zarrow	WOR LET	962	html
April 15, 2012	967	Overlap dance II	Create a phrase that overlaps two terms, each of two words or more, and describe the result.	Mae Scanlan	WOR	963	html
April 22, 2012	968	Take us for grants	Come up with a proposal to the National Science Foundation or other research-funding organization for a study based on a stupid hypothesis.	Robert Schechter	SCI	964	html
April 29, 2012	969	Colt following	Breed any two "foals" in today's results, and name the grandfoal.	Kathy El-Assal	HOR	965	html
FIRST INKIN' MEMORIAL AWARDED IN REPORT FROM WEEK 966
May 6, 2012	970	Couple it	Take a line from any well-known poem and pair it with your own second line to make a humorous couplet.	Brendan Beary	POE LIT	966	html
May 13, 2012	971	Double booking	Come up with a double book with a humorous connection; the first title must be an actual book, while the other may be your own fictitious title or a second real book.	Jeff Brechlin	LIT	967	html
May 20, 2012	972	Trends and neighbors	Choose any two items on the provided list and explain how they are alike or different.	Bird Waring	DIF	968	html
May 27, 2012	973	A real triple crown	The horses in this week's list either produced no inking "foals" in Week 965, or ran in the Kentucky Derby but weren't on the initial list. "Breed" any two and name the foal.	Kevin Dopart	HOR	969	html
June 3, 2012	974	Eat our dust!	Write a limerick humorously describing a book, play, movie, or TV show.	Chris Doyle	LIM LIT TEL MOV	970	html
June 10, 2012	975	Gone mything	Debunk a "Sixth Myth" about one of more of the recent "5 Myths" topics provided.	Tom Witte	CUL	971	html
June 17, 2012	976	Join now!	Combine the beginning and end of any two words or names in this week's Style Invitational or Style Conversational columns to make a new term, and define it.	Robert Schechter	HYP WOR	972	html
June 24, 2012	977	Lost in Translation 2.0	Translate a line of text from English into another language using Google Translate; then copy that result and translate it back into English. You may also make intermediate steps into one or more other languages.	Kevin Dopart	GOO LAN	973	html
July 1, 2012	978	A reason to rhyme the news	Write a short verse about something that's been in the news recently.	Nan Reiner	POE CUL	974	html
July 8, 2012	979	The madding crowd	Suggest funny, original ways to tick people off.	John Shea		975	html
July 15, 2012	980	Def jam	Supply a humorous definition for any of the provided Loser-penned neologisms.	Paul Burnham	WOR	976	html
July 22, 2012		You can't lose this week!	Because there’s not a new contest this week. Three and a half weeks from now, the Empress will be lounging on an exotic (okay, Delaware) beach, blissfully discoonnected from this newspaper's "content management system," Methode, better known within the newsroom as "that piece of [not 'blueberry pie'] Methode."			977	HTML   E
July 29, 2012	981	Feeling testy	Write a question that "ought to" be on a qualifying test for a particular job.	Barry Koch	BUS	978	html
August 5, 2012	982	The parody line	Set your own, humorous words to the tune of a well-known song--except that you must preserve one of the original lines.	Nan Reiner	POE MUS	979	html
August 12, 2012	983	Limerixicon IX	Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with the letters "eq-" through "ez-".	Brendan Beary	LIM LET	980	html
August 19, 2012	984	Another brilliant contest	Write something whose words begin with consecutive letters of the alphabet.	Christopher Lamora	LET		html
August 26, 2012	985	What art art thou?	Tell us which Style Invitational contest any of the provided Bob Staake cartoons might be illustrating.	Beverley Sharp	CAR	981	html
September 2, 2012	986	Hear here!	Give us a sentence or short dialogue that would be a lot funnier if a word in it were mistaken for a homophone of that word.	Mark Richardson Beverley Sharp	WOR	982	html
September 9, 2012	987	Bank shots	Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Washington Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 6 through Sept. 17 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head," or subtitle.	Melissa Balmain	HEA	983	html
September 16, 2012	988	A faster break	Suggest ways to make sports and other leisure activities more time-efficient or exciting.	Martin Bancroft	ATH	984	html
September 23, 2012	989	On the double	Come up with a double or multiple profession, and explain how each job complements the other(s).	Jeff Hazle	BUS	985	html
September 30, 2012	990	Indecent relations	Pair two people, real or fictional, who have the same last name; say how they're alike or different, or something they might do (even in fantasy), as a pair.	Robert Schechter	DIF	986	html
October 7, 2012	991	Tour de Fours IX	Create a new word or two-word term containg the letter block V, O, T, and E and define it.	Laurie Tompkins	LET WOR	987	html
October 14, 2012	992	Mittsterpiece Theatre	Suppose public-TV shows, past or present, were turned out onto the open market to make a living on commercial TV. Tell us what would happen.	Neal Starkman	BUS TEL	988	html
October 21, 2012	993	Versus, verses	Write a short "rap battle" between any two characters, real or fictional.	Amanda Yanovitch	POE	989	html
October 28, 2012	994	Stick it to us	Suggest a slogan for one of our two new honorable-mention Loser Magnets for 2012-2013.	Bruce Carlson	SLO STY	990	html
November 4, 2012	995	Ask backwards	We give you the "answers" and you supply jokes in the form of a question.	Mark Raffman	JEO	991	html
November 11, 2012	996	A Life-Time opportunity	Combine two magazines or journals and describe the result, supply a marketing pitch, or suggest a story or two that it might publish.	Lawrence McGuire	CUL	992	html
November 18, 2012	997	Unworthy causes	Name a dubious charity and describe its mission.	Mark Raffman		993	html
November 25, 2012	998	Set the law on us	Suggest an odd law for a particular place in the world.	Beverley Sharp	POL	994	html
December 2, 2012	999	Drectrospective	Enter any Style Invitational contest from Week 946 through Week 995, except for Week 948.	Lawrence McGuire	PRE	995	html
December 9, 2012	1000	We now have 4 digits; you now have 7 letters	Choose any word, name or two-word term beginning anywhere from T through Z; then add one letter, drop one letter, substitute one letter for another, or transpose two adjacent letters, and define the result.	Jeffrey Contompasis	LET WOR	996	html
December 16, 2012	1001	Make us ROFL	Give us a funny, original acronym.	Dayna Fellowes	LET WOR	997	html
December 23, 2012	1002	Wring out the OED	Make up a false definition from any other the listed OED words.	Frank Osen	WOR	998	html
December 30, 2012	1003	Just do it	Use a well-known advertising slogan for a different company, organization or product to humorous effect.	Brendan Beary	SLO BUS POL	999	html E
January 6, 2013	1004	Dead letters	Write a humorous poem about anyone who died in 2012.	Nan Reiner Robert Schechter	POE EPI	1000	html E
January 13, 2013	1005	Send us the bill	Name a piece of legislation "cosponsored" by two or moreo of the 98 new House and Senate members provided.	Rick Haynes	LEG	1001	html E
January 20, 2013	1006	It's a ... a ...	Create a new superhero (or due) and describe the superpower, or not-very-superpower.	Michael Reinemer	CUL	1001	html E
January 27, 2013	1007	Clue us in	Come up with creative, funny clues for the words and mult-word terms in the provided grid.	Barbara Turner	CRO WOR	1003	html
February 3, 2013		Primping for our big day	There's no new contest this week, because four weeks from now, the Empress will devote this entire space to a celebration of the Style Invitational's 20th anniversary.			1004	HTML   E
February 10, 2013	1008	Switched reels	Re-arrange all the words in the title of a movie, and describe the resulting work.	Roy Ashley	WOR MOV	1005	html   E
February 17, 2013	1009	What's in a name?	Write something about some person, real or fictional, using only the letters in the person's name.	Matt Monitto	LET	1006	html E
February 24, 2013	1010	Picture this	Write a caption for any of the five provided cartoons.	John Glenn	CAR	1007	html E
March 3, 2013	1011	Top these!	Try your hand at any of the contests mentioned in this look back.	Robert Schechter	PRE		html
YEAR 21 BEGINS
PUB DATE	WEEK	TITLE	SYNOPSIS	EVENTUAL WINNER	THEMES	REPORT	LINKS
March 10, 2013	1012	The news at 5	Write a limerick about a recent news event.	Kevin Dopart	LIM CUL	1008	html
March 17, 2013	1013	Har monikers	Write a riddle that uses a pun of a person's name in the answer.	Natalie Beary	JOK WOR	1009	html
March 24, 2013	1014	Join now	Combine the beginning and end, or the beginnings and ends, of any two words in single Washington Post story or ad published March 21 to April 1 into a new word or two-word phrase, and define the result.	Michael Gips	WAS WOR	1010	E
March 31, 2013	1015	Faux re mi	Give us some humorously false trivia about music or musicians.	Paul Kondis	MUS	1011	html   E
April 7, 2013	1016	Foaling around	Breed any two of the horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and give the foal a name humorously reflecting the names of the parents.	Mark Eckenwiler	HOR	1012	html   E
April 14, 2013	1017	Vowel play	Write a "univocalic" newspaper headline -- one that uses only one vowel throughout.	Nan Reiner	LET HEA	1013	E
April 21, 2013	1018	Reologisms	Write a clever, funny definition for any of the Loser-concocted neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 that deserve better definitions than their creators offered at the time.	Rob Huffman	WOR	1014	html   E
April 28, 2013	1019	What a turnoff	Tell us some creative things that children and families could do during Screen-Free Week.	Art Grinath	CUL	1015	E
May 5, 2013	1020	Colt following	Breed any two of this week's winning foals and name the grandfoal.	Laurie Brink	HOR	1016	html   E
May 12, 2013	1021	'Gram theft	Come up with a term by scrambling any of the letters sets in the provided list, and define it.	Frank Osen	LET	1017	E
May 19, 2013	1022	What's the diff?	Explain how any two of the provided items are alike or different.	Michael Gips	DIF	1018	E
May 26, 2013	1023	Hai there, Martians!	Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth.	Rob Huffman	POE	1019	E
June 2, 2013	1024	Gorey thoughts	Send us some edgy rhyming alphabet-primer couplets. The pairs are AB, CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV, WX, and YZ.	Jennifer Gittins-Harfst	LET POE	1020	HTML   E
June 9, 2013	1025	In so many words	Create an original backronym for a name or other term, especially one that's been in the news lately.	Jay Cummings	WOR CUL	1021	HTML   E
June 16, 2013		(We) give us a break	The Empress os spending a week touring her dominions and so she's giving you a week off as well.			1022	HTML   E
June 23, 2013	1026	'Might' makes ink	Give us a joke using any of the using any of the provided "you might be" templates.	Chuck Smith	JOK	1021	HTML   E
June 30, 2013	1027	Built for two	Give humorous related names for any pair of features in a given building, organization, etc.	Phil Frankenfeld	BUS POL	1023	HTML   E
July 7, 2013	1028	Joint Legiflation	Combine the names of two or more of the First Congress senators and/or representatives to create "joint legislation".	Doug Hamilton	LEG	1024	HTML   E
July 14, 2013	1029	Ditty Harry	Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune.	Mark Raffman	MOV MUS POE	1025	HTML   E
July 21, 2013	1030	The cinquain feeling	Write a clever cinquain. The five-line form is straightforward: first line, two syllables; second line, four syllables; third line, six; fourth line, eight; fifth line, two.	Nan Reiner	POE	1026	HTML   E
July 28, 2013	1031	The 'Sty'le Invitational	Choose anyword, name, or short term; emphasize a key, suddenly pertinent part of it with quotation marks; then redefine the word.	Barbara Turner	WOR	1027, 1026	HTML   E
August 4, 2013	1032	Hid stuff	Explain the symbolism "obviously" evident in any well-known site, artwork, etc., in 75 words or fewer.	Jeff Shirley	ART	1028	HTML   E
August 11, 2013	1033	LimeriXicon	Supply a humorous limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "fa-".	Matt Monitto	LIM	1029	HTML   E
August 18, 2013	1034	What's to like?	Supply an original joke of the form "I like my [your choice] the way I like my [something else of your choice]: [some clever, funny parallel]."	Robert Falk	JOK	1030	HTML   E
August 25, 2013	1035	The Empy 500	Explain what news Bob Staake is trying to tell in any of the provided drawings.	Michael Gips	CAR	1031	HTML   E
September 1, 2013	1036	Just for liffs	Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term.	Joel Knanishu	WOR	1032	HTML   E
September 8, 2013	1037	Outrage us	Find something offensive about an inoffensive name of a product, organization, place, etc.	Robert Falk	BUS	1033	HTML   E
September 15, 2013	1038	It's like this, see	Answer a simple question with a ridiculously argued answer citing various connections and parallels.	Chris Doyle		1034	HTML   E
September 22, 2013	1039	Shookespeare	Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage.	Craig Dykstra	WOR POE	1035	HTML   E
September 29, 2013	1040	IRS my case	Schedule A: Suggest a novel way for the government to determine taxes. Schedule B: Suggest a deduction that you'd like to take, or that some real or fictional person or past or present might like to tak. Schedule C: Suggest a cause you'd rather check off $3 for.	Edmund Conti	POL	1036	HTML   E
October 6, 2013	1041	What have you got to lose?	Answer a question, real or rhetorical, that appears in a song.		MUS QUE	1037	HTML   E
October 13, 2013	1042	Tour de Fours X: Go SANE	Create a new word or two-word term containing the letter block S-A-N-E -- in any order, but consecutively, and define it.		LET	1038	HTML   E
October 20, 2013	1043	Rechanneling celebrity	Describe a TV reality show featuring a celebrity pursuing some unlikely endeavor.		TEL	1039	HTML   E
October 27, 2013	1044	Play it safe	Come up with a comically safety-conscious rule for the workplace of elsewhere.		CUL	1040	HTML   E
November 3, 2013	1045
November 10, 2013	1046
November 17, 2013	1047
November 24, 2013	1048
December 1, 2013	1049
December 8, 2013	1050
December 15, 2013	1051
December 22, 2013	1052
December 29, 2013	1053
January 5, 2014	1054
January 12, 2014	1055
January 19, 2014	1056
January 26, 2014	1057
February 2, 2014	1058
February 9, 2014	1059
February 16, 2014	1060
February 23, 2014	1061
March 2, 2014	1062
YEAR 22 BEGINS