PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR BILL DORNER

This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.

But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.

If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.

If you see any error, please let me know, elden.carnahan@gmail.com.

Key to Ink Types:

WKTITLESYNOPSISINK TYPES
1424 We Bee back -- a neologism contest From any of the 30 provided Spelling Bee letter sets, coin a new term or phrase and describe it humorously. You must use the first letter in the set (anywhere in the word) plus any or all of the others, as often as you like. H L
1422 The Collaboratory Think of a book, movie or song title. Then pair its creator, star, singer, etc., with an unrelated "collaborator" to produce a wordplay on the title. H H
1421 Alternaugural Address '21 Write a humorous passage -- a "quote", an observation, a joke, a dialogue, a poem, anything -- using only words that appear in Biden's inaugural address. H
1418 Tour de Fours XVII: Just Undo It Coin a word or multi-word term containing the letters U-N-D-O -- consecutive but in any order -- and describe it. H
1417 Dead Letters, our obit poem contest Write a poem of no longer than eight lines (plus an optional title) about someone who died in 2020. H
1415 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1360 through 1387, except for Weeks 1361-1363. H
1414 Divining comedy: 2021 predictions Name some humorous news event to happen in 2021. H
1411 Back end of a Bulwer Write a humorously awful final sentence or two to an imaginary novel. H
1410 Legends of the fall -- more fictoids Tell us some bogus trivia about autumn, or things that happen (or have happened) in autumn. H
1405 Okay, once more around the track "Breed" any two of the provided foal names that got ink in Week 1400 and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1402 2020: Metaphors for a bleep year Make up a word whose Scrabble letter values add up to exactly 14 (no blanks!), and define it. H
1400 Back on track with our classic 'foal' contest "Breed" any two of the provided names of the 100 horses nominated for the 2020 Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to humorously reflect the parents' names. H
1399 The lie-zy days of summer Tell us some bogus trivia about the summer or things that happen or have happened in the summer. H
1398 This is the year that is Describe the year 2020 in a novel, colorful metaphor or simile. You may also offer an original graphic. H T
1392 Picture this -- caption these cartoons Write a caption, either descriptive or in dialogue, for any of the provided Bob Staake cartoons. H
1390 'Same difference' for a new time Explain how any two of the items in the provided list are similar, different or otherwise linked. M T
1388 Turning around a business Create a business, product, organization or similar entity that contains a word, name or phrase and its anagram, and describe it. H
1386 Colt following: It's the grandfoals! "Breed" any two of the 70 foal names that got ink this week and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1384 Of course there are stupid questions! Give us stupid questions, especially ones reflecting Our Current Situation. P
1383 Questionable Journalism Choose any sentence (not a headline) in an article or ad in The Washington Post or another publication dated May 7 through May 18, and write a question it might humorously answer. H
1382 For us, it's still Post Time "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 of the 145 previous Kentucky Derby winners, from 1875 to 2019, and name the foal to humorously reflect the parents' names. H
1381 Let's be equinoxious with fictoids about spring Tell us some untrue trivia about springtime or things that happen or happened in the spring. H
1380 Both sides now Delete one or more letters (in a row) from a word or brief phrase to find another word, and define it. P
1376 Get thee to a funnery Add a character (or more) to a Shakespeare play and supply some resulting dialogue. L
1375 Mess With Our Heads Reinterpret an actual headline (or a major part of it) by adding a bank head, or subtitle. H H H
1374 Versus' verses in a rap battle Write a mini-"rap" between any two characters, real or fictional, as in the provided ERB example. 2 H
1373 Prime time for some Amazon reviews Send us a humorous "review" for any of the provided Amazon-listed items. H
1367 Pick me up at work, okay? Give a pickup line from someone in a particular profession, or from a particular person or fictional character. H L
1366 Tour de Fours XVI -- It's the LIAR club Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block L-I-A-R and describe it. W
1365 Dead Letters, our obit poem contest Write a poem of eight lines or fewer (plus an optional title) about someone who died in 2019. 2
1363 The Year in Redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1334 through Week 1359. H
1362 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1307 through 1333, except for Weeks 1309-1311. H L
1360 The lyin' in winter: Seasonal fictoids Give us some untrue trivia about winter or things that occur in winter. H H
1356 Ask Backwards 38 Sixteen "answers" are provided. Tell us the questions. M
1355 The inside word Highlight part of a word, name or short phrase in "air quotes" to give the word a new meaning or description. H
1353 What's playing at the retroplex Change a movie title to its "opposite" by reversing one or more words; then describe the new movie. H H
1352 Hee-rotica -- Steamy prose for unsteamy life Write a short steamy scene (100 words would be considered long) about a non-steamy event. T
1351 What concept will you be for Halloween? Give us a creative, clever idea for a timely Halloween costume (for one or more people) or an idea for a party or other activity. You may even send us a photo of an actual new costume you've created this year. T
1349 Revise and extend these remarks Go to congress.gov/congressional-record and click on the PDF for any day's Congressional Record. Choose any sentence (or substantial part of one) and write a question that it could answer. H
1348 Same difference Explain humorously how any two or more of the provided items are alike, different or otherwise connected. T
1347 Reologisms Write a clever, funny definition for any of the provided Loser-concocted words and phrases, and/or show they'd be used. H
1346 AZ if -- balancing acts Think of a new word or two-word phrase that begins and ends -- either way -- with one of the provided "alphabetically balanced" pairs. H
1345 The confaketionary -- food fictoids Tell us some comically false "fact" about food, drink or dining. 4 H
1344 Well, that's just great -- It’s Limerixicon XVI Supply a humorous, previously unpublished limerick significantly featuring any English word, name or term beginning with "gr-". H
1342 MRGRS: Mash 2 abbrevs. Combine two acronyms or other abbreviations, whether of entities or expressions, into one big one, and describe it, offer a slogan for the new organization, etc. H H
1338 Picture This -- cartoon captions Supply a caption for one or more of the provided cartoons. H
1337 Lidder me this: anagram riddles Write a Q&A joke (or an A followed by a Q, if you're into "Jeopardy!") in which the punchline contains an anagram or one or more relevant words or names. H
1336 Two ways about it What's something (printable) you could say in two -- or more -- of the provided situations. H
1334 Mull 'er over: A search for collision Combine any two words, names, abbreviations, etc., from anywhere in the redacted Mueller report, in a two-word or hyphenated phrase and define it. H M
1332 We'll call them Spellimericks Write a humorous limerick that's an acrostic: a pertinent five-letter word or name spelled out by the first letter of each line. H
1330 Spinoff x Time Is Now = Grandfoals Week! "Breed" any two of the 65 foal names that got ink this week, and name the offspring to reflect both parents' names. H
1326 Foaling around "Breed" any two names from the provided list of 100 horses and name the foal to reflect both names. W
1321 Pumping Prime: Amazon reviews Send us a humorous "review" (like the provided samples from our earlier contests) for any of the provided items. M
1319 The Tile Invitational VI Create a five-, six-, or seven-letter word (or phrase) by scrambling the letters of any of the provided sets and define it. H
1318 Love the tiny tail stain! Create an anagram -- a phrase or sentence with the letters rearranged -- of any text (except merely someone's name), of any length. H H
1317 Punku 2: Haiku with puns Create a haiku containing a pun or similar wordplay. H H H M
1316 Lies, damn lies, with statistics Tell us some bogus trivia using "statistics" or some bogus quantitative meaure. 3 H
1314 Bill Us Now -- 'joint legislation' Combine two or more names from the provided list of the new members of Congress to “co-sponsor” a bill based on their combined last names, and state its purpose T
1313 Dead Letters -- our obit poem contest Write a poem of no longer than eight lines about someone who died in 2018. T
1309 The Year in Redo, Part 1 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1255 through Week 1281. 3
1308 Picture this -- or these This week you have two choices: (1) Write a caption for one or more of these pictures, or (2) explain what is wrong with the picture. You might also combine two pictures into one -- or all four into one. M
1307 One-for-one for all Replace one letter in an existing word, name or multi-word phrase with one different letter (in the same place in the word) and define or describe the result. H
1305 Hits and Googles Find us either a Googlenope -- a phrase in quotation marks that generates no previous hits -- or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly does have hits. H H H
1300 Botch office sensations Add "13" to an existing movie title, and some humorous trouble to the plot. H H
1299 OK, hivemind! A contest with new Scrabble words Choose any two of the words in the provided list as the beginning and end of a humorous word chain of 6 to 14 words or phrases. H
1295 Really, now? A matter of degree. Tell us an indication to some problem, followed by an even more dire sign. H
1294 As the word turns “Discover” a word or multiword term that consists of adjacent letters — in any direction or several directions — in the provided grid, and provide a humorous definition. H
1285 That is so wrong! Supply a trivia question along with both the correct answer and a cleverly "wrong" guess. H
1282 Picture This Write a caption for one or more of the provided pictures. H H
1281 We only have (googly) eyes for you Send us a photo of something that you have made funny by pasting googly eyes on it; funny titles and captions are optional. M
1279 Just do it -- the 'real' way List some "accurate" directions for using some product or completing some task. H M
1277 Come into Beeing with neologisms From any of the 15 provided Spelling Bee letter sets, coin a new term of one or two words and define it humorously. You may also supply an especially clever or funny definition of a real term. H H
1274 Heading for a foal -- our horse name 'breeding' contest Your job is to "breed" any two names of the 360 horses nominated for this year's Triple Crown races and name the "foal" to reflect both names. H
1269 Mess with our (or other) heads Reinterpret (or comment wryly on) a headline appearing in The Post (print or online) or another publication and dated March 1-12 by writing a bank head. 4
1267 Jingle bungle Suggest an ill-advised spokesman (dead or alive, or fictional), along with a humorously noooo slogan or jingle. H H
1264 A cry for Yelp: 'Review' any place Write a humorous review, positive or negative, of anyplace (real of fictional) one might visit. H
1260 What lies (are) ahead for 2018 Jokingly predict some news event to happen in 2018. H H
1258 The year in redo, Part 2 Enter (or reenter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1230 through Week 1254. H
1257 The year in redo, Part 1 Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from Week 1203 through Week 1229, except for Weeks 1205 and 1206. H
1256 Picture this -- a caption contest Provide a funny caption for any of the provided cartoons. H
1252 It's a med, med, med, med world Invent a clever name for a new medical product, and specify the condition it would treat. H
1251 Thanking outside the box Tell us something to be thankful for. H
1249 Ask Backwards 36 Choose any of the 15 provided items and follow it with a question that it could humorously answer. H
1248 C'mon, fess up! Send us a brief "confession" -- there will be categories for true and just-kidding. H
1247 Script tease Offer a quote from a script whose title you've given a different plot. H
1244 Primed for product reviews Send us a creative "review" for any of the provided items that are listed on Amazon. H
1243 We bid you: No T-R-U-M-P Coin a new term, or choose an existing one, whose letters do not include a T, R, U, M, or P, and write a humorous definition. H
1242 Generation Yux Give us a "then/now" joke. 3
1239 MASH 3  Combine two movie titles and  describe the result. H
1231 TankaWanka 3: Haiku Plus Tu Write a TankaWanka about something that's been in the news lately. The poem must consist of five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables in that order. And at least two of the lines must rhyme. H
1228 That movie is SO about you Name someone who was the "secret inspiration" for a certain movie. H
1220 O pedantry, O pedantry Give us some humorous pedantry. H
1213 Punku Write a haiku that incorporates a pun. H
1167 So what's to liken? Take any two items from the provided list and explain how they're similar or different, or connect them some other way. H
1162 An 8-year Re-Onion Write a fictional Onion-type headline. H H
900 Dear us! Submit a "Dear Blank" letter to us instead. 4
894 Look Back in Inker Enter any Style Invitational from Week 841 through Week 890 (except for Week 844). H
885 Mess with our heads Take any headline, verbatim, appearing anywhere in The Post or on washingtonpost.com from Sept. 10 through Sept. 20 and reinterpret it by adding a "bank head." H

MOST OF YOUR INK

Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:

"Report From Week 758"

or

"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."

and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:

"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"

I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.

Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.





[still working on this ...]