PERMANENT INKSTAIN FOR LARRY NEAL
This is what you've done, each Week. I arrange the rows in reverse chronological order, because there are some Losers, and they know who they are, who check up on my points-awarding every Week.But I would just like to reiterate that such checking up is not a problem for me. I have said many times that each Loser's enlightened self-interest is my best QA.
If you wish to see what your ink was, refer to the Master Contest List or search All Invitational Text. Remember that Types I, P, some H, and sometimes A are seen "above the Report" -- that is, if they are listed here for Week 7777, for example, they will be found in text files or images of Week 7777. Everything else will be found in a "Report" section of a file two, three, or four weeks later; 7781 in this Example.
If you see any error, please let me know, email@example.com.
Key to Ink Types:
- H: Honorable Mention, sometimes appearing in the setup of a new contest.
- P: Prize donation.
||Shakespeare + Thee: Tailgaters
||Select any line from a work by Shakespeare (poetry or prose) and pair it with your own line to create a humorous rhyming couplet.
||Film flam -- movie anagrams
||Rearrange the letters of a title of a movie or play to make a new title, then describe the new work.
||Gestures of depreciation
||Suggest ways to celebrate National Love Your Lawyer Day -- or a made-up "holiday" celebrating some other profession.
||Yux Redux: Play on a foreign phrase
||Make a word play on a foreign phrase or term (or English phrase using foreign words) and describe it.
||Futz your sign
||Select a line from one of the horoscopes appearing anytime from Nov. 6 through Nov. 17 in the Washington Post's daily Style or on washingtonpost.com and "clarify" it with a translation or extra "information".
||The core ridiculum
||Come up with a comical class (any type of school) and provide a course catalog description.
||Playing the dozens
||1. Start with any 12-letter word, name or multi-word phrase.
2. Add one letter OR drop one letter OR substitute another letter OR switch the position of two letters to create a new term, as in the examples given.
3. Define or describe the result humorously.
|H H |
||An iffy proposition
||Suggest some humorous action that you would take if you were in someone's position, more or less in the form "If I were _____ my first act would be _____."
||H H |
||With parens like these …
||Add some words in parentheses to a well-known song title to make it funnier in some way.
||Just for liffs
||Use a real place name, from anywhere in the world, as a new term.
||Write a descriptive theme song for a well-known movie, set to a well-known tune.
||Hai there, Martians!
||Write one or more humorous haiku that will greet the Martians or share a little nugget of what life is like on Earth.
MOST OF YOUR INK
Here is, I hope, most of your ink to be found in the All Invitational Text list. I have to find these with what are called regular expressions, which is a method used in a lot of programming languages to find and modify certain text strings in larger corpora. Basically I look for something like this:
"Report From Week 758"
"And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . ."
and then some text, your name, and your town, arranged in this familiar way:"GlaxoSmithKline: I have six kids named Chesterfield, Winston, Lark, BensonHedges, Doral and Kool. If I name my new baby Nicorette, can I get a free coupon for your products? (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)"I don't catch everything, but I believe I find 90%.
Unlike in the table to the left, I've arranged these in chronological order, so you can see how your humor matured, like a forgotten cheese deep in the walls of an old house. You started out, perhaps in Year 1, sending in riddles you sort of remembered from grade school, and now look at ya, ain't you Dorothy Parker.
[still working on this ...]