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News Flash:

The Gopherdrool e.com empire is proud to unleash its newest feature: The Weak Week. Check this spot regularly for reviews of contests, helpful hints, and analyses of Loser Stats.

The Week in Loserdom:

In what is rumored to be a desperate effort to score sympathy ink, noted Loser Jan VerrEy has apparently faked some form of serious illness. Details remain sketchy at this time, but Ms VerEry apparently claimed to be accidentally poisoned by a puncture from a cactus. The speed of her recovery has, however, left many suspicious and public opinion has now centered on a deliberate attempt to sway the decisions of The Czar, himself a well-known hypochondriac.

This week also saw the appearance of a Google link on the Gopherdrool web page. Motivated purely by financial gain, the Web Dominatrix secured a sizable extra income from Losers everywhere running their web searches through the drool. The staff of The Weak Week alone has already contributed more than seventeen cents to the vast Madame X fortunes.

Results of Week XXVIII

Summary: The Week XXVIII results^* were tainted a bit as The Czar insisted on entries that strictly followed the example provided. As a result, many fine efforts were disqualified; legal action is expected.

The Siberian Express: Each week the Czar must make countless decisions and, on occasion, he condemns an entry that clearly merits a T-shirt, or better, to the obscurity of Honorable Mentiondom. This week's ticket to oblivion goes to Ed Wilson (Arlington) for "... true computer nerds never use Windows."

Score Losers: Elden Carnahan (Laurel) bumperstickered his way to his career 300th appearance, only the sixth Loser ever to do so. C. Doyle-Smith (Woodburke) hit for a massive seven honorable mentions, all of which appeared under his traditional moniker. In the race for Loser of the Year, Dave Genser (Arlington) and Russell Beland (Springfield/Annandale) remain in a virtual tie for second place, gaining slowly on the still slumping Ma Hart.

Week XXXII:

The Weak Week Prediction: The Czar continues his new found interest in riddles, but will Losers be up for a third riddle contest in five weeks? Look for lots of entries, but very few really clever ones. Look for the regulars to dominate the ink.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : Don't bother with Al Gore entries for this contest. The Czar will be inundated with dozens of predictable Gore rhymes.

Messing With The Czar: This week's challenge: send in an entry related to Herve Villechaize, flunky sidekick from Fantasy Island. Special Weak Week recognition to anyone getting Villechaize ink.

Week XXXII Overall: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week XXXII gets a:

Lots of room for creativity, but limited humor opportunities.

Read more Weak Weeks

Gushing praise for The Weak Week's weekly week round-up may be e-mailed to TheWeakWeek@aol.com.

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