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News Flash:

The Weak Week news bunker is just filled to the skylights with comments, questions, and suggestions from Losers everywhere (i.e. Herndon). The Weak Week staff expected no less, but was positively shaken by the number of highly personal e-mails. Everything about the staff, from parentage to scores on IQ tests, seemed fair game for questions and speculations. In answer to the most frequently asked question: L'Enfant station is where the staff usually gets off, at least in the mornings. Thanks again for your interest in The Weak Week. As always, The Weak Week can be reached at TheWeakWeek@aol.com.

The Week in Loserdom:

LoserNet survived its first Peyton-free week. No word yet on whether the first Loser voted off the Internet will try and cash in on his fifteen minutes. In other news, the Czar's sycophant toady known as "Rasputin" claimed to have acquired "400 boxes" of T-shirts (*new* design Loser and Uncle) with pens on the way. Unclear at this time if all the shirts will be small or a mix of small and extra-small.

Results of Week XXIX

Summary: There were no Week XXIX results. If, however, you check your copy of the Sunday Post closely, you will notice a second set of "Week XXVIII" results that are much funnier when applied to the week XXIX contest. As always, legal action is expected.

The Siberian Express: This week's trip to the gulag goes to Chuck Smith's cow-tipping, honorable mention that had should have penned. (Note: this is not meant as a criticism, in any way, of the entry that actually did pen.)

Score Losers: Chuck Smith generated the most ink for the second week in a row. His five hits this time boost him to twelve honorable mentions for the fortnight. Curiously, the official NRARS score keeper credited Mr. Smith with just one appearance. In an unrelated story, Loser Mike Genz bumper stickered one time and received credit for five appearances in the standings. The week also saw the youngest (rumored) winner Sam Rosenberg (age 6). We're sure his mom is just so proud of little Sam these days.

Week XXXIII:

The Weak Week Prediction: At first glance, this appears to be a good contest for new comers and any other Loser wanna-be. Closer inspection, however, reveals that each entry requires you to funny three times, which would seem to favor the regulars. Look for the Czar to cut and paste for the final results, as he did with the Billy Joel and Mary Ann Madden contests.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : Losers serious about ink should, of course, check out Fulghum's original classic, but be sure to have an insulin shot ready, just in case you read too much. Other rich sources for ideas include George Carlin's Brain Droppings, and a delightful work by Charles Dane: Life's Little Destruction Book. All of these can be had from Amazon, in a couple of days, through the Gopher Drool link.

Messing With The Czar: This week's challenge: The Czar may be feeling a little old, what with someone born in 1994 winning the last contest. The ticket this week is to write your entries in large print so an old man like the Czar can see them.

Week XXXII Overall: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week XXXIII gets a:

The score would have been higher, but the selection of categories cost him a bit.

Coming Next Week: Week XXXIV (probably)

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Gushing praise for The Weak Week's weekly week round-up may be e-mailed to TheWeakWeek@aol.com.

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