proudly resents ...

 

News Flash:

The Weak Week is just tickled to announce its definitive interview with the Czar Himself! Here is just a small sample of what the Czar had to say to our editorial staff. "I am partial to an entry.... There are some I remember vividly, but I can't honestly call them the best...as sex.... Always...always...at home, always on Sunday... takes between two hours and twelve hours.... I am desperate.... I am... sure fire.... That's my job.... My family is unaware that I... collect underpants.... Zanko is good... is... huge,... but... no... Alan Greenspan.... Thousands of people is an exaggeration... about 1,500 people....My boss...made my skin crawl on account of it was 1) patronizing and 2) lame....This is true: I have NEVER... with a woman." For the complete text, click here.

The Week in Loserdom:

The Fourth Estate's Fifth Column: Yes, The Weak Week turns five today, and celebrates its coming of age with a big thank you to all our loyal fans. Keep those e-cards and e-letters coming, and, if we don't bother to acknowledge them, it's because we are just too gosh darn overwhelmed. Also this week: Monday September 25 saw gopherdrool.com's first 200+ visitor day. We're not entirely sure who 175 of these people were, but we're glad they stopped in.

Results of Week XXXII

Summary: The XXXII^* was another week dominated by the regular gang of social misfits. Each of the year's top seven inked, most more than once. David Genser got the drool, yet again, this week, bring his wins for the year up to something like eighty.

The Siberian Express: This week, the stroll through Solzhenitsyn's summer camp goes to the delightful "Scratch Hatch" by Jonathan Paul. The winner, pen, and shirts were great, but this one ranked with them.

Score Losers: Chris Doyle (whose name has caused the The Weak Week typesetting team to break down and add to its spell checker) got the most ink again, pushing his way into third-place for the year and passing Mathews and Genz on the career list. Hart widened her lead back to double-digit for the year, while Chong, with three appearances, moves into 12th for the year.

Week XXXVI:

The Weak Week Prediction: The Weak Week staff has been pondering the Week XXXVI possibilities and, frankly, has failed to find any. This may be the first week of the restoration the Czar needs filler. Look for low numbers of entries and few printed. This is a great week for a new comer to take a shot. Anything funny will see ink.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : The Czar's in-basket will be filled with contrived, not particularly funny, stuff. To stand out, look for something, anything, creative and different. This is a week to stay outside the box.

Messing With The Czar: : The Editorial Board of The Weak Week has found itself wondering if anyone out there is actually MWTC. This week's assignment is to think up your own special way to MWTC and report it back to The Weak Week. Extra-special Weak Week glory and honors to anyone getting ink from the effort, but only if you alert The Weak Week of your particular MWTC strategy by 7 October!

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week XXXVI gets a:

We hate to say it, but there isn't much to do with this turkey except baste it.

The Week Link:

October 1st, 1995 (Week 133): On one of the more memorable dates in Style history Tommy Litz debuted with his winning entry "Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran, MD" which, perhaps, doesn't hold up as well as some other winning entries. This was also the week Kitty Thuermer was first likened to Honus Wagner (in batting average only), and that Michael Farquhar, identified as "The Czar's [former] flunky," suggested the funny analogies contest. Tom Witte had the excellent Ear No One Read: "Humor/Fashion/The Occasional Terrorist Manifesto."

Coming Next Week:

The first in a seven-part series (unless we get tired of it) featuring insights and predictions for the upcoming Flushie Awards. The series will culminate with overall predictions based on the results through Week XXXIX, when the Style year is three-fourths banked. Out of respect for the integrity of the awards process, The Weak Week will then impose moratoria on both Flushie-related predictions for the remainder of the year and on severely contorted sentences designed solely to allow the writer to use pretentious words such as "moratoria."

Read more Weak Weeks

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