proudly resents ...

 

The Week in Loserdom:

Losers continue their election debate while a lucky few revel in their newly delivered glorious-green Uncle shirts. The November brunch had a modest attendance and the political discourse was, at least, civil.

Results of Week XXXVII

Summary: Week XXXVII^* asked Losers to write sentences they wouldn't want to hear finished. As with other contests with individual entries that take up little space, the Czar had plenty of room to print lots of submissions. Judging by the results, the Czar had to pick through many nearly identical entries, so plenty of people should feel slighted.

The Siberian Express: This week, the Czar gave frost bite to James Pierce, whose "Hi, I'm Sally Stru... " deserved better than a bumper sticker.

Score Losers: The ongoing dominance of the Virginia delegation continues as Old Dominionites remain the top four for the year. (This despite some new guy from New York winning the week.) Beland got the most ink (with four) Hart and Genser had three each, with lots of regulars getting a hit or two.

Week XLI (Update an expression for the new millennium):

The Weak Week Prediction: Greg Arnold (another Virginian) gets credit for the suggestion, even though the contest is derivate of several in the past, including Week 204, which required you to "take any well-known colorful expression, and modernize it," suggested by one "Russell Beland of Springfield" (who is not in the least bitter). Other contests in the same vein include an old one to name the decade and the recent George W. Bushisms. As with all of those, the results will be good and plentiful.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW): It is worth checking the old contests to see what the Czar thought funny (no stealing allowed). This is also a week to break out your Bartlett's.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week XLI gets a:

This is a fun week with lots of potential. The Czar is, however, starting to lose points for lack of originality.

Flushie With Victory (Part v of vii): Lunatic Fringe Awards

As it Stands: OK, you are not going to be Loser of Year; you are not a rookie, and your output doesn't swing violently enough to be most, or least, imporved. You still have a shot at some sort of distinction, even if Elden will never announce your name at the gala awards ceremony. Here then, are the "other" accomplishments.

The Cy Young Award for most wins: Genser is in the lead with (count 'em) five wins. Doyle and Paul have three each, and Carnahan has two.

The Ray Stevens Award for best streak: Hart inked the first twenty weeks in a row. No one can catch her.

The Bob Dole Award for most First Runners-Up without a win: This looked to be a contest between Beland and Hart until Jennifer up and won a week. Beland leads with three, Reese has two, plenty of others have one each.

The Bill Clinton Award for most suggestions accepted: Gertler has three, Dudzik and Beland two each.

The Nephew Award for most Uncle's Picks: Joe Romm is in the lead with six, Beland has four, three Losers are tied at two each.

The Pete Rose Award for being the most successful Loser with no chance of major recognition: Tom Witte, in fifth for the year, with 55 appearances, is not among the leaders for any award (except this one).

The Cold Shoulder Award for most Siberian Express tickets: Chuck Smith is the current leader with one and a-half, six others are tied with one each.

The Week Link (The Original Week 41):

The original Week 41 was the first call for material to put on Loser bumper stickers. Dudzik won with "How's my Drivel," Carnahan got first runner-up for "Shirt Happens" Those of us long in the tooth remember them both all too well.

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