proudly resents ...

 

The Week in Loserdom:

Frequent Loser Dave Genser announced a slowing down in his Style efforts. Losers everywhere wait to see if this is just the standard semi-retired status, or something more, or should we say, less.

Results of Week XXXIX

Summary: Week XXXIX^* asked for captions to any of six drawings. Cartoon A (punk on pig) didn't generate much worthy of print, but the others more than compensated. Steve Dudzik came back to Loser life with a win and a shirt. Jean Sorensen breaks her dry spell with several fine efforts.

The Siberian Express: This week, the frosty finger of fate finds Jean Sorensen for her "... this doesn't look that much like a nursing home to me" which TWW staff liked better than most of the runners-up.

Score Losers: Overall scores are still confused by the Czar's anonymous contest. Hart, with four inks, widened her lead to something like 15 for the year. Dudzik, Sorensen, Genser, Paul, and Doyle also had multiples.

XLIII (Apply to college.)

The Weak Week Prediction: This is a contest with relatively few themes, but there should be some fine efforts. Ideas outside the box will probably be welcome, if not printed.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : The Czar will get tons of entries along a few predictable lines (unqualified applicant; dangerous, psychotic, or threatening applicant). If you are entering along those lines, good wording and polish will be the keys to success. You might want to look back at your entries for Niels Hoven's student government speech contest, some ideas might be recyclable

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week XLIII gets a:

Despite some potential, this is not a week that will prove memorable. The Marilyn Monroe clock would, however, go nicely with the swinging hips Elvis clock already adorning my daughter's room.

Flushie With Victory (Part vii of vii): The big picture

As it Stands: Results from the first three-fourths of the year are in. Hart's lead seems unbeatable and Pierce looks to be cruising to the rookie title. Despite his win this week, Dudzik seems destined to get least imporved, while Doyle continues to lead for most imporved, though Hart remains in striking distance.

This week's column was originally intended to be filled with statistics and projections for all the Losers. Unfortunately, the anonymous contest puts a real damper on that sort of thing. The Weak Week can say that Genser's one-year record of 96 inks is likely to be shattered, as Hart and Beland should both break the 100 mark. Hart is, in fact, almost certain to exceed the mind numbing two-inks-per-week average for the year.

Overall, the same relatively small group of Losers is going to take the top honors again this year. Whatever the Czar's preferences or criteria, there is no getting around the fact that just a handful of Losers dominate year after year. If you look at the top three finishes in each of the first seven years you have, arguably, the twenty-one best single-year performances. The top five career Losers (Smith, Hart, Witte, Beland, and Genser) have sixteen of those twenty-one top finishes (more than 75%). Amazingly, those same five account for half the fourth and fifth place finishes too. This year should prove no exception as those five currently hold four of the top five places. If you add Carnahan, the top six career Losers are the only ones to ever exceed sixty-five appearances in a year, which they have done a combined fifteen times. Add Romm to the group and those seven Losers have every top three appearance, in every year, except Gearty's second place in year one.

There is, of course, no magical place to draw a line in the standings. Jonathan Paul has passed Romm for seventh on the career list and has twice finished fifth for year. Chris Doyle is currently fourth for the year and seems certain to exceed the 65 appearance mark. Krattenmaker and Litz each tore up the rankings for a few months, then virtually disappeared.

For those not destined to grab a brass ring this year, The Week Weak offers the follow consolation. In less than three months, before the first hint of spring, the Style year will begin anew and we will go through all this, yet again.

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