proudly resents ...

 

News Flash:

The Weak Week is proud to show off the second in our occasional series of interviews. Get the poop on Chuck Smith. Here's just a sample of what the all-time leading Loser had to say. "Me ... my... I'm... me... I... I've... I... I... I... I... my... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... my... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... myself... I... I... I... my... I... Tommy Litz...I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I....

The Week in Loserdom:

Election chatter finally fell off as even the Losers grew tired of the never ending drama. With just 18 days till the solstice, Losers are busy plotting the NRARS holiday festivities for next Saturday, or perhaps Sunday.

Results of Week XLI

Summary: The Week XLI^* called for updating common expressions. As is typical with this sort of contest, the clever turn of phrase proved crucial to getting ink. Despite the wealth of great efforts the Czar picked one two runners-up (perhaps he used too much space making his own little joke). Meg Sullivan continues her best Style year so far with a great week that included the pen and three strong honorable mentions.

The Siberian Express: This week we add an entire sleeper car to the Express. Clearly shirt worthy, or better, were Sorensen's "bagel slicer," Chong's "Heimlich," Levy's "mother's partner," and Sullivan's "What part of 'is,'" and "Pulling a Michael Jackson," Heck, the Czar should just mail everybody a shirt or two to make good.

Score Losers: With the results of the anonymous Ask Backwards contest finally counted, it's time to catch up on recognizing some milestones. Hart broke Genser's one-year scoring record of 96, and became the only Loser ever to hit triple-digits in a single year. Guinness Book take note: she still has eleven weeks to pile on hits. She also pulled to within twenty-six of Smith for career ink. No one has been that close to Chuck since he left the birth canal. Sorensen's recent burst of ink puts her into twelfth for the year. Sullivan's four hits today push her past fifty hits for the year and into seventh place.

Week XLV (Name the Congressional Bill):

The Czar continues the trend of rerun contests. This time he spiced up the Congressional contest by including departing members (but then left several off the list). A forlorn sigh can be heard outside the walls of TWW bunker.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : Look over the past Congressional contests to see what the Czar likes. Also feel free to include the names he somehow omitted. If your stuff is funny, we'll bet he'll print it.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week XLV gets a:

This started as a solid, but never great, contest idea. By now, however, it's mostly just old. Toss in the omitted names and you get a score of four.

The Week Link (Week 142, December 3rd, 1995):

For Week 142 the Czar asked us all to describe next year's Turner Prize winner. (the Turner Prize is some British award for faux art). Fred Dawson went on to win any item of his choice from Dave Barry's Christmas gift list. Also in Week 142, Tom Witte won a bag of dried herring for revealing Paul Styrene's real name: Buckwheat Farrakhan. (Yes, that was, gasp, five years ago.) Virginia Maggi won a "Redskins helmet mailbox" for submitting the worst job: "The private detective O.J. hires to find the real killer." But the Czar saved his highest praise (and a severed finger) for Nicole Stewart's actual job of "Assistant Turkey Sperm Collector."

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