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The Weak Week Week XLIX (December 31, 2000)

by Russ Beland
The Week in Loserdom:
The Czar found his big time celebrity in the form of Adam Clymer who debuts with a fourth runner-up. Elsewhere in Loserland, there were a mess of birthdays and newlywed Losers Dudzik, Romm, Fleschner and Zarrow all appear to have remained married through the end of the millennium. Congrats to all.

Results of Week XLV
Summary: Week XLV* was the traditional Name the Acts of Congress. TWW has never been too keen on this contest form and the results, while quite clever, were not truely memorable. One result that surprised TWW statistical unit was the relative quietness of the regulars. Only two of the year's top-six and five of the top-twelve got ink this week and all but one of those was a single.

The Siberian Express: Riding the Express, nonstop to oblivion, is the team of Murphy and Fleschner for their bill to investigate why the good die young. It should have gotten a shirt.

Score Losers: Zarrow's triple (including the win) moves him into 13th for the year. Fleschner and Fahey both get ink for the second week straight and move into the top-20 and top-30 for the year respectively.

Week XLIX (bad pickup lines):
The last contest of the millennium asks us to think up bad pickup lines for use in a bar. This has the classic Style feel to it yet is, as best we can remember, an original.

The Weak Week Prediction: Watch for Tom Witte to have a big week. He has scored many times with pickup lines (in the contest, of course) and should be right in his element here. Chuck Smith is another Loser to watch.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : Some things to keep in mind: by the time He prints this one, Clinton will be a former president, G.W.B. should be in the White House, and the Superbowl match up should be known. Make your entries fit the times.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week XLIX gets a:

TWW sees the makings for a great contest here. Plenty of room for creativity and a wide range of humor.

How Cool the Drool: On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's set of party glasses on chains gets a:

Not only will they be a great addition to your dining room, they kind of fit the contest.

Half a Fortnight Away: Dan Ratherisms (don't trust the guide on the bottom of F2, TWW knows better)

Two Half-fortnights Away: Old Name/New Name

The Week Link:
(The Results of the First Congressional Bill Contest, Week 93) On Christmas Day, 1994 the Czar reported more than 9,000 entries, including many duplicates. Jerry Pohl won with "The Cubin-Bass-Tiahrt resolution condemning Fidel Castro." The TWW editorial board was still in its Style infancy at the time, but remembers a preference for Scott Jordan's second runner-up "The Bentsen-Snowe-Kennedy delayed snappy comeback act." Week 93 also featured the famous "I Want the Mongoose" contest which resulted in the "finest prize" ever, being won three weeks later by Judith Daniel. And, on F2 that week, just below the style contest, was a promotion for a new comic strip "Dilbert." Yes, we have been in the Post longer than Dilbert.

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