proudly resents ...

 

The Week in Loserdom:

The Week in Loserdom: Losernet hummed all week with Beatle conspiracy thoughts, with The Walrus finally identified as Tommy Litz. Also this week, TWW is pleased to announce the third in its occasional series of interviews. On this occasion, Czar Funky Peter Zanko shared his thoughts on the Invitational in particular and Losers in general. Some highlights: I can't ... perceive ... half of the Style section's...junk.... I have a limited... I'm...With all due respect ... just a boring, lame, dumb...assistant.... I don't have any...insight ... on...what I'm saying.... I ...makes more ... mistakes.... understand that.... I suppose...and that screws things up.... I don't think.... I...make...the most pathetic thing...just dumb.

Results of Week XLVI

Summary: The Week XLVI^* (Dan Ratherisms) looked to be a tough one going in and the results seem to bear that out. The printed entries clearly showed work and the regulars dominated the ink. The Czar took time to explain his efforts to purge the feature of "knockoffs" but TWW spotted at least three jokes that were not, shall we say, fresh. Carnahan, Butterfield, and Romm, you know who you are.

The Siberian Express: The train rolls empty again this week as the Czar drew the salt line in the proper spot.

Score Losers: Hart shoots past 450 career inks with the win plus four. Any remote chance of her getting passed for LOTY vanished as she built her lead to eighteen with just six weeks' results left to be printed. Even if she gets no more ink for the year, she's should have a lock on her fourth title. Doyle gets his first ink in seven weeks and his first multiple in eleven. Smith holds the current streak with ink four weeks straight. And apparent newcomer Carolyn Bickford of San Jose gets a double that includes the week's green shirt.

Week L (Gendering Nouns):

The first contest of the new millennium asks us to assign gender to nouns. TWW staff has been kicking this one around for more than 24 hours now and still doesn't see the potential.

The Weak Week Prediction: Some people will come up with some funny entries, but not many people and not very funny. Unfamiliar names are likely to have a shot, but only if they are willing to put in the work.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : Avoid the obvious Freudian jokes. WWWW is that He'll get a bunch of bananas in the mail.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week L gets a:

TWW may be missing something here, but we don't think so.

How Cool the Drool: On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's deer that poops jellybeans gets a:

It's a deer that poops, what more do we need to say!

Half a Fortnight Away: Old Name / New Name
Two Half-fortnights Away: Idiom Ad Infinitum
A Fortnight-and-a-half Away: Pickup lines

Read more Weak Weeks

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