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The Weak Week Week LIII (January 28, 2001)

by Russ Beland
The Week in Loserdom:
Everything old is new again and everyone who lost last year is tied for first again. Losernet has a new address and TWW has a fresh start kind of journalistic outlook for the new Style year. TWW is also accepting ideas for TWW slogan. The winning Loser will get fame and no fortune when the selection is announced. Until then, the acting slogan is: "The Weak Week: The perfection of our arms is ironic."

Results of Week XLIX
Summary: TWW had high hopes for Week XLIX* (Lines up with which you can pick) both personally and for quality entries in general. The Czar proved us right on both counts with loads of great stuff getting printed. Of course, three submissions by TWW's editorial junta were printed under other people's names but, just as in bars, the good ones got hit on over and over. The Czar did his usual good job in picking the best of the best. Paul deserved the tacky glasses.

The Siberian Express: It's the dead of winter in Siberia. We hear that train a coming, it's rolling 'round the bend, and Tom Cronin's "...my wife has been in labor for 12 hours..." ain't seen the sunshine it should have. Is this one-shirt-a-week thing a new policy or what? Note to Czar: c'mon, they're just T-shirts!

Score Losers: The lame duck session of Year I has three more weeks to run. The entries are in, we just haven't counted them all yet. In the only close race on the leader board, Doyle pulls a bit ahead of Genser for third for the year, but it's still TCTC. On the Rookie circuit: Ewing of York and Shreves of Oak Hill look to be names to watch in Year II, while Pierce of Charlottesville beats out Romm for the green T.

Week LIII (Clues you are like I):
After three disappointing weeks, the Czar starts Year II with a good one. The contest has enough structure, but plenty of room outside that box.
The Weak Week Prediction: Tons of entries from all over the map (geographically and comically) will hit the Czar's door. Don't be surprised if some of the hard-core reach the 60+ mark on submissions. The Czar will have a tough time judging this one as the material will be plentiful and varied.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW): Lots of people are already looking for an example that fits all seven conditions, most likely it's one involving the Clintons. If you are going there, expect a lot of company.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LIII gets a:

This is one that will be fun to work, and it will produce great stuff. TWW does not, however, expect it to prove to be a memorable week.

How Cool the Drool: On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's giant framed Band-Aid gets a:

This item is sure to compliment any office decor. If you win, TWW will trade you the $40 cash, sight unseen!

One fifty-second of year from now: Male/Female
Two fifty-seconds of a year from now: Cartoons from hell.
Three fifty-seconds of a year from now: Answer Gingerly

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