proudly resents ...

 

The Week in Loserdom:

This week's big Loser news was a scolding from the Post's Ombudsman. The Style Invitational is, it seems, too scatological and crude for people of taste. TWW's reaction to this is a hearty: Yes, yes, yes! Scold us more. And then, when we don't stop, hurt us, over and over again. In other news, TWW is pleased to announce its adoption of the Post's Loser rating system. The Post's system and the older Carnahan system differ in several details (the most obvious of which is points versus appearances). Neither system is, in our view, ideal, but TWW initially went with the Carnahan system primarily because it offered tradition, accuracy, and consistency. The Post appears, however, to have worked out the bugs in its ratings and that, combined with the legitimacy that comes from being published by the Post, motivated the switch. Starting with this issue, scores and rankings will be based on the Post's point system.

Results of Week L^*

Summary: TWW originally panned this contest, giving it one of the lowest ratings ever. A few days later TWW's editorial star chamber decided that the contest did, in fact, have some merit. The results confirm that the contest was, at the least, in the "good enough" range. TWW is pleased to see so many names, and from such distant and exotic places as Lenoir, NC.

The Siberian Express: Sharing the ride on the train to oblivion this week are regular commuter Jonathan Paul and virgin Express rider Sandra Hull. Their tire and ketchup gags were shirt class.

Score Losers: We're still early in 2001 and the leader board is just starting to settle into its familiar pattern. Hart remains on top at 14; Doyle and Paul each has 9. Caron bagged the most points this week, six, all on HMs, putting her in a tie for fourth with heavy hitters Witte and Sorensen and new comer Rod Ewing.

At the bottom of this page is TWW's unofficial final standings for the year 2000 for all Losers with 10 or more points. (The Post's 2000 ratings have not, to date, been updated for the final printing of the year.) TWW wishes to congratulate Jennifer Hart on being the 2000 Loser of the Year, James Pierce on being the 2000 New Meat of the Year, and Joe Romm for being 2000's Nephew of the Year

Week LIV ( DC/DC jokes):

Submitted today for your humorous pleasure, we find the Czar looking for below the beltway humor. Contests with this little structure rarely produce great results and usually favor those regulars who tend to churn out material. Well, we'll see about that.

The Weak Week Prediction: Despite the apparent edge for those who live around Washington, we expect to find a lot of ink for those who are a bit more removed from the city's problems.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : TWW thinks jokes at the expense of our former, beloved, coked-up, incompetent, mayor-for-life are a bit dated. We advise against using Hizoner as your butt.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LIV gets a:

There is nothing wrong with this contest, but noting special either.

How Cool the Drool: On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's West Virginia doily gets a:

Despite the Czar's gushing praise, the doily sounds just a notch below the best.

• 168 Hours from now: Cartoons from hell.
  
• 20,160 minutes from now: Answer Gingerly
  
• 1,814,400 seconds from now: Get a Clue

Unofficial Final 2000 Loser Standings
Rank    Name & City                     Points
----------------------------------------------
1   Jennifer Hart, Arlington		121
2   Russ Beland, Springfield		105
3   David Genser, Arlington		 89
4   Chris Doyle, Burke			 83
5   Tom Witte, Gaithersburg		 80
6   Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park          73
7   Chuck Smith, Woodbridge              67
8   Meg Sullivan, Potomac                63
9   Joseph Romm, Washington              56
10  Mike Genz, La Plata			 29
11  Sandra Hull, Arlington               28
12  Jean Sorenson, Herndon               26
13  Elden Carnahan, Laurel               23
14  Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring        22
15  Sue Lin Chong, Washington            20
15  Dave Zarrow, Herndon                 20
17  Martin Bredeck, Community, Va.       19
18  James Pierce, Charlottesville        17
19  Paul Kocak Syracuse, N.Y.            15
20  Art Grinath, Takoma Park             14
20  John Kammer, Herndon                 14
22  Cindi Rae Caron, Lenoir, N.C.	 13
23  Brian Broadus, Charlottesville	 12
23  Mike Elliott, Oberlin, Ohio		 12
23  Phil Frankenfeld, Washington         12
23  Robin D. Grove, Pasadena		 12
27  Katharine M. Butterfield, Potomac	 11
27  Bob Sorenson, Herndon                11
27  Steve Fahey, Kensington              11
30  Robin D. Grove, Laurel               10

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