proudly resents ...

The Week in Loserdom:

Losers rejoiced in the news that the Czar is now no more likely than any of the rest of us to die a horrible, painful, pitiful, early death. In other news, Losernet was flooded with pseudo-Grecian puns, most of which TWW found simply Apolloing.

Results of Week LI^* (Order me a Cartoon)

Summary: This was the first contest of the restoration TWW editorial cabal completely wrote off. There is a certain calming effect that comes from having submitted nothing and we recommend everyone try it now and again (particularly Jennifer). Strangely enough, TWW found ourselves glancing out the window to see if the paper was in the driveway puddle just as often as any other week. When the Czar offered this contest up we thought it was doomed and we stand by that. The Czar saved face by finding a few items to print, and while TWW commends all those who came up with anything even remotely funny for this contest, we note that the humor dropped off fast after Sarah Gaymon's fine winner. Sometimes the trouble is with the submissions, sometimes with the timing, sometimes with the judging. This time it was with the contest.

The Siberian Express: The Czar awarded no T-shirts this week, so we can declare that none of the HMs was as good as the T-shirt getters. No train today.

Frequent rider awards: The Siberian Express Conductors' Guild wishes to commiserate with Chuck Smith for his 2.5 express tickets for the year 2000. Jonathan Paul was nearly as under-appreciated with 2, and Jean Sorensen had 1.4.

Score Losers: Jonathan Paul becomes the second Loser in double-digits for the year, but still trails Hart by five. Newbie Holly "The Hack" Hacker moves into a tie for eleventh with veterans Beland, Cuddihy, Frankenfeld, and Romm.

Week LV (Market at a loss):

The Czar's instructions are to find a marketing ploy for 50,000 of some useless product. We at the TWW assume he's been thinking about the remaining copies of his book, but we can't be sure.

The Weak Week Prediction: The regulars will go to town on this one, but the occasional entrants and new comers will find it tough.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : Remember the rules of advertising. People are sheep, but sheep with purchasing power. The stupider the pitch, the better.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LV gets a:

We don't expect people to have a lot of entries this week, but the good ones will be really good.

How Cool the Drool: On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's Julie London record bowl gets a:

It has a certain tacky charm, but so what?

Coming too soon: Answer Gingerly
Coming soon: Get a Clue
Coming none too soon: DC/DC Jokes

Read more Weak Weeks

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