proudly resents ...

 

The Week in Loserdom:

This week was just the same old, same old: Uberczar, Auxiliary Czar, no poop, no sex, Genser quits, Staake in color. The monotony is starting to be over powering. TWW can, however, report that the Auxiliary Czar is a thoughtful, seemingly normal, person, funny too. Read her comments in our exclusive interview. Here's a small sample of the what awaits you: "In general, I ... like torturing children...I...really, really...like... that....I start...with...this anal...No-Pest Strip.... You should see...the...result.... When I last did this.... I would obsess for days over ...some....children."

Results of Week LIV^* (Capitol Ideas)

Summary: Losers were asked for inside the beltway humor, with everyone wondering how the out of town Losers would do. As it turns out, it was locals, and former locals, who got the ink.

The Siberian Express: No train service today. The new Czars on the block chose well, and drew the line between shirts and bumper stickers in the right place.

Score Losers: TWW wishes to thank those members of the teeming dozens who took time to offer comments on the choice of scoring systems to use. Other than a couple of comments about how nobody should even keep score (sent in by Losers whose totals are not, shall we say, near the top) there seems to be a solid preference for the Post's statistics, provided they are accurate and timely. That condition is, however, well beyond even TWW's span of control. TWW has learned that the Post's recent scoring delays stem from an illness afflicting our beloved Rasputin and we are, therefore, willing to stick with the Post to see how it goes.

At the nine week mark, the top five for the year are finally all in double-digits. Hart's three week inkless streak has given several other Losers the chance to catch up, as the next six in the rankings all scored at least one point this week. Still, Hart holds to a narrow lead. The current hot streak belongs to Bob Sorensen who has appeared three weeks straight.

LVIII (Headline Boos):

The Weak Week Prediction: Contests that require going through the entire paper always favor those regulars willing to devote the time and energy needed in so pointless a pursuit. Those who are quick to turn a clever phrase (Zarrow) or best working outside the box (Paul) seem the most likely to get ink.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW) : Don't depend exclusively on the Style section and the first section of the paper. Check through lesser sections such as Real Estate and the automotive pages. The obvious efforts will simply reverse the expected meaning of some headline, look for ink to go to those that are able to twist and misinterpret the original headline in more creative ways.

Russ to Judgment: On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LVIII gets an:

This is one of those contests where entries will be easy to generate, but really good entries will be rare and require some effort. TWW has never been too keen on contests that use the entire paper, and we expect only a few really good results from this one.

How Cool the Drool: On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's Economic Report of the President coffee mug gets a:

This is an item that I actually see around work from time to time being used by people who, I'm pretty sure, don't do it for the amusement value.

The Week Link:

September 3, 2000: The debut of The Weak Week Six months ago this weekend The Weak Week first appeared. Now, twenty-six issues, five interviews, and seven Pulitzers later TWW wishes to thank all its loyal readers for their generous attention and thoughtful comments. We couldn't have done it without you. (Well, we could have, but there wouldn't have been very much point in it, now would there?)

Coming before you know it: 50,000 fast pitches
Coming when you know it: Overkill in Overdrive
Coming a week after you know it: Two Fords parked on the lawn

Read more Weak Weeks

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