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The Week in Loserdom:

Losers passed yet another quiet week with minimal LoserNet chatter. With the rather anticlimactic ending of the hiatus the TWW editorial junta voted unanimously to award one of the rarest and most coveted of NRARS honors to the Auxiliary Czar. For "Outstanding Effort in the Area of Achievement" the Auxiliary Czar was presented with a motion-activated, AC adapter not included, singing toilet, complete with the traditional laser-jet-and-glue-stick labels. We are told it will occupy a place of great honor in the Washington Post's main facilities.

Results of Week LXVIII^*

Summary:

TWW did not expect much from this contest and is now forced to admit the results were somewhat better than expected. The winning entry was, by far, the best, but some others gave us a good smile or two.

F2.1 (The AC's Comments):
The head-scratching engendered by some of the highbrow horse names last week turned into lowbrow armpit-scratching for this week's sabotaged signs. But they were certainly drawing a lot of laughs (heard above the scratching noises) around the office. Because the original examples were all signs that didn't drop out spaces between the letters to produce the "improved" version (e.g., THE MEN's WEarhoUSE to THE MEN WE USE, rather than, say, TEN WAR HOS, a firm of battle-proven hookers), some entrants took that as a limitation but still produced some of the best entries, such as TIMBERMAN'S DRUGS to TIMBER N RUGS, by No No He's Not The Czar Already Ervin Stembol.

Even though The Post's legal department assured us that we couldn't get sued by matching the name of a business with some terrible corruption of its name, it still seemed kind of unfair to a place like Edgardo's Trattoria to pair it in front of 1.2 million readers with GOT RAT, as Jennifer Hart did in her very funny entry. The Czar Himself is back in town, and now is back to judging the contests starting with Week LXVI, the guy-flick/chick-flick one. Next week--my last on this site--I'll share my thoughts on the last contest I judged, the refrigerator magnets, and maybe dish a little extra dirt on the Czar's performance as Loser during The Duration.

The Siberian Express:

Pasting a bumper sticker on the back of the caboose this week is Ervin Stembol for Timber N Rugs. Whoever he is, he should have had a shirt.

Score Losers:

Familiar names continue to occupy the very top slots, but several relative new comers are lurking within easy striking distance. Stembol, Kepner, and Ewing are all in the top dozen for the year and just two or three good weeks out of serious contention. There was no shift in the top-three slots as Beland, Hart, and Doyle each managed three points. Zarrow had the big week, with four singles, to move him into (we think) a tie for tenth for the year.

Week LXVIII (A REALLY good contest ):

The Weak Week Prediction:

While LXVIII is reminiscent of several earlier contests (particularly the good idea/bad idea and the good/bad/ugly weeks) it offers some new territory. Look for the clever plays on words (as in the first example) to do well.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW):

Entries will likely fall into two distinct groups: (1) General situations, such as the two examples provided. (2) References to specific events, such as: "Sign you are a bit too stupid to participate in politics: you spell potato with an E on the end. Sign you are REALLY too stupid to participate in politics: You vote for Gore and Buchanan." Look for the Czar to print a mix of these two.

Russ to Judgment

On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LXVII gets a:

This contest is certainly in one of the classic Style traditions. Plenty of quick humor, much of it gratuitous.

How Cool the Drool

On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's wine bottle in a lower extremity gets a:

We can't quite picture this one, but it sounds like a prize worth winning.

The Week Link: Week 10 (OS)

For Mother's Day, 1993, the Czar asked the Losers for euphemisms for anything (contests were so straight-forward in those days). That contest was won three weeks later (the results were printed faster too) by Erik Johnson, who won an ugly presidential plate (and the prizes were better) for his new euphemism for vomit (at least some things never change).

Week 10 also featured the results of Week 7 which included the debuts of both Dudzik and Witte. They broke in with names for new rock bands. Steve bumper stickered with: Xenophobic Strangers. Tom And Lasted with Give Me The Damned T-Shirt.

May 20th: Stuck for the right word
May 27th: A contest made for a man, but women like it too
June 3rd: Life is Short, Then They Get Around to Mailing Your Bumper Sticker

Read more Weak Weeks

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