proudly resents ...

 

Loser News:

The no "pseudonymous entries" rule claims Stembol. We can only imagine how bad his real name must be if he's unwilling to use it instead of "Stembol". TWW has petitioned "The Czar" to make an exception in this case, but there is little hope left for Ervin. The other big news item this week was the wonderful job of guest editing by our own Ms Hart. TWW encourages all of you to beg her to take over editorial duties full time.

Results of LXXII (Air Quote Words):^*

Summary:

After two weeks of limited ink, The Czar prints a bunch. Familiar names dominated the page, but a few new names (probably all fakes) snuck in here and there. The Mary Ann Madden Pick replaces, for now, The Uncle's Pick, but TWW remains partial to "And Last."

The Siberian Express:

TWW Editorial Junta spent a long time debating between a couple of HMs for this week's train ride, but just couldn't decide. When we finally noticed that both contenders were written by Jonathan Paul we stopped worrying ourselves over which one was better, and just let them share the ride.

Score Losers:

Doyle can adorn the front and back bumpers of three cars with his six HMs for the week. Beland, Hart, and Paul manage five points on four appearances each to remain among the top for the year. French has a big week with a shirt and two bumper stickers and Sorensen remains on pace for her best year ever with two more HMs.

Week LXXVI (Old Name / New Name):

The Weak Week Prediction:

Bruce Alter suggests a dandy little contest, sure to produce tons of entries. Fortunately, the Czar will have room to print a lot.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW):

TWW thinks this is a week the Czar will hold us to the rules. There will be a real temptation to send in funny, but bad, new names, but TWW expects the Czar to reject those. This week's WWWW is to stick to making the new names somehow better. We can also point out that this is a week for lots of duplicate entries. If you want solo credit, focus on the unusual.

Russ to Judgment

On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LXXVI gets a:

This is a fun contest, easy to work on, in the Invitational tradition, and with potential for plenty of ink.

How Cool the Drool

On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's Republican Christmas cards gets a:

If he'd held these till the Christmas season, they'd be a three, but it's July out there.

Weakest Loser Survivor Millionaire:

We finally begin our summer contest with the one million dollar grand prize. Starting this week TWW will keep track of the scores of six teams. One team will be eliminated each week (starting next Sunday) until we are down to a single team. At that point, the Losers on that team will begin to compete against each other for the million dollar cash prize. The team eliminated each week will be the one with the fewest total points since the contest started, except the team that scores the most points that week has immunity and can not be eliminated, even if it has the fewest total points.

Weakest Loser Results:

Hoven's unexpected defection from the World team to the Maryland team and Stembol's apparent retirement shift the balance somewhat as the contest begins. After the first week, the standings are as follows:

Maryland Beltwavers: 26 points.

Virginia Hams: 21 points.

Arlington/Alexandria/DC Capitol Punishers: 6

World Global Trots: 4

Herndon/Reston Terrorist Cell: 2

Columbia/Potomac Esquires: 2

TWW wishes to thank those of you who submitted team names. We're sorry we couldn't use them all. TWW also wishes to thank the somewhat larger number of you who kindly pointed out that TWW's spell checker prefers "Colombia" to "Columbia" and to assure you that, yes, if anyone from Colombia gets ink the Esquires will get the points.

Read more Weak Weeks

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