proudly resents ...

 

Loser News:

This was another quiet week in the land of the ugly t-shirt. TWW is delighted to see rampant interest in Weakest Loser Survivor Millionaire. The teeming dozens may, however, stop submitting suggestions for team names. We're done with that.

Results of Week LXXIII (Bad Advice):^*

Summary:

The entries shared on LoserNet showed a few common themes and we suspect The Czar grew tired of reading about poison ivy and winking at your date's dad. Still, when all was said and done, leaves of three carried the day.

F2.1 (Thus Spake the Czar):
A large outpouring of entries, but a small percentage of worthy ones. so, mathematically, as usual, it worked out. Probably the only moderately interesting insider fact is that the winner was a type we seldom choose: the very best example of a joke that many people attempted. We made this decision based on two factors:

1. there was no obvious contender for the winner, and

2. this was the only one that really made the joke work.

To be precise, there were more than 20 people who made poison ivy jokes. And there were five who specifically made poison ivy jokes using the "leaves of three" rhyme. However, only the one made it work.

The Siberian Express:

Riding this week's train is Ma "Pooh" Hart for her wonderful jab at bureaucracy dressed up as advise for a kid going off to camp. Her HM was much better than at least one of the runners-up.

Score Losers:

TWW is somewhat chagrined to announce it is adopting its own rating system. After trying for more than ten months to avoid this very step, the Editorial Junta finally broke down and instituted its own rankings, which becomes effective this week. While TWW is painfully aware that a third set of statistics (which vary little from the other two) is not exactly on the top of most Losers' priority lists, we could find no good way around it. Details of the new ratings and a list of all Losers with three or more appearances in 2001 can be found on TWW's Official Stats Page.

Because of the frequent delays in the Post's updating of scores, TWW had, in effect, been keeping our own totals for several months anyway. This change will actually reduce our work, as we will no longer be stuck trying to reconcile our totals to the Post's. The new system will also give TWW added capability. We can now, with just a few key strokes, calculate almost any uninteresting tidbit, such as who has had the most sixth runners-up in the restoration. (Chris Doyle, with three.) Speaking of Chris Doyle, he has generously agreed to help with the scoring, double check the totals, and perform various other critical functions. With this addition, TWW is pretty sure it has the only Loser statistics being verified by a professional actuary.

TWW wishes to stress that it has no complaints about either of the other scoring systems. This change was driven solely by the fact that neither of the existing systems was meeting our peculiar needs. TWW appealed several times to the other score keepers to accommodate our requirements but, understandably, neither of them was inclined to change his procedures.

Week LXXVII (Ask Backwards):

The Weak Week Prediction:

TWW has never much liked Ask Backwards. The results are often great, but the contest is just no fun. We expect the same this time around.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW):

Some fun and true (we think) facts about this week's answers:

Wynken and Blyken are from a late 1800s poem by Eugene Field.

Sartre won the 64 Nobel prize for literature; his first novel was titled "Nausea."

Sharon is Prime Minister of Israel and his last name was originally "Shinerman."

Stone was born thirty years after Sharon (1n 1958) and is perhaps best known for her role in "Police Academy 4."

Tyson's middle name is "Gerard," but we're guessing people don't call him that too often. Buster Douglas made him kiss the canvas for the first time ever in 1990.

Christine Todd Whitman is the former governor of New Jersey, a moderate Republican, and currently Administrator of the EPA.

"Prehensile" refers to something that can grab or grasp.

Russ to Judgment

On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LXXVII gets a:

We're mostly just sick of Ask Backwards.

How Cool the Drool

On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's candy with bugs in it gets a:

Great shock value, but not durable enough for a high score.

Weakest Loser Survivor Millionaire:

We eliminate our first team this week. After a careful count: The World Global Trots you are the weakest Losers. G'bye.

The World team would have been eliminated even without Hoven's unexpected shift to the Beltwavers. His two points last week do, however, account for much of Maryland's current lead. Overall, the scoring was much closer this week, but the Beltwavers and Hams remain well in front. After two weeks, the scores are:

Maryland Beltwavers: 38 points*.

Virginia Hams: 31 points.

Arlington/Alexandria/DC Capitol Punishers: 14 points

Herndon/Reston Terrorist Cell: 9 points

Columbia/Potomac Esquires: 9 points

= = = = = = =

World Global Trots: Eliminated

*TWW originally awarded the Mary Ann Madden Pick two points on the assumption that it would count the same as an Uncle's Pick. Since then, TWW received a Zankogram explaining that the Mary Ann Madden Pick counts as an HM and we have, therefore, revised the Beltwavers' score down by one.

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