proudly resents ...

 

The Week in Loserdom:

This week's top story, easily, is the announced departure of Elden Carnahan. Elden, a NRARS founder, brunch founder, stat starter, Depravda creator, and long time second-only-to-Chuck Loser, has announced his departure for California. Given it's nowhere near April 1st, were assuming this is for real and, well, shocked.

Results of Week LXXV (Curses, Doyled Again)^*

Summary:

Not since Week 61 (OS), when Chuck Smith had the winner and three runners-up, has a single Loser dominated the top ink the way Doyle did this week. Doyle also scores a rare back-to-back victory. Also for the second week in the row, the Czar tosses out the contest's rules and allows Madonna and Doctor Kevorkian among the "Politicians" whose names were mined for humor.

F2.1 (Thus Spake the Czar):
Oh no he doesn't.

Last week The Czar of The Style Invitational and The Weak Week's Editorial Junta engaged in a protracted exchange of e-mails over the Czar's judging of the contest from week LXXIV (the Tom Swiftly variations). At times the exchange was fairly nasty on both sides. We won't recount it here, but it is safe to say that neither party was at his most mature during certain parts of the debate. In any case, The Czar ended up descending into a retaliatory snit and declared that he would no longer provide comments for F2.1.

TWW will keep this space available to him, but don't look for The Czar to take advantage of it again. For all we know he is holding his breath and stamping his feet too.

The Web Trolls would like to take this opportunity to urge The Czar to reconsider. While we realize that TWW Editorial Junta is an insufferable twit, we implore you to consider your adoring fans, who wade through this drivel only for the chance of gleaning your weekly pearls of wisdom. It's not the Junta you're hurting, it's your adoring public. The Trolls now return you to your regularly scheduled drool.

The Siberian Express:

No rider on the train of obscurity this week. The Runners-Up all beat the HMs.

Score Losers:

In a low scoring week, only three Losers have multiple appearances. Doyle has his second big week in a row, with a total of ten appearances for the fortnight. He now trails Hart for second place by just three appearances. Dudzik also has his second good week in a row and moves into the year's top ten and the Restoration's top fifteen. TWW wishes to welcome Bev Barth, Dan Dunn, Les Finster, and J.J. McCullough, who all make their Restoration debuts this week. We also welcome back Daniel Horner and John O'Byrne, who reappear after lengthy absences. Finally, congratulations to Adam Elfenbein on qualifying for TWW's ratings page by getting his third ink of the year. Details of the ratings and a list of all Losers with three or more appearances in 2001 can be found on TWW's Official Stats Page.

Week LXXIX (Painful Climaxes):

The Weak Week Prediction:

This is Beland's second contest suggestion in a row and it shows a vague resemblance to last week's challenge. TWW expects a fair number of amusing entries, but very few really funny ones. The best efforts will likely work off famous quotes, with original lines mostly just variations of the "never suffocate" example.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW):

This is another week to grab out the Bartlett's. Churchill, Caesar, Shakespeare, and the Bible are good sources of famous, overly dramatic, statements, but there are plenty of others in there for the determined.

Russ to Judgment

On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LXXIX gets a:

Just a bit better than last week.

How Cool the Drool

On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's 1,000 toothpicks gets a:

Unless we're missing something from the description, this prize is just lame.

Weakest Loser Survivor Millionaire:

Herndon & Reston needed a big week to stay alive and, instead, got blanked. Terrorist Cell, you are the weakest Losers, g'bye.

The Hams, led by Doyle, scored the most points for the second week in a row week, and take the lead in total points. The Capitol Punishers finish second for the week, but remain well behind in total points. With just three teams left, the scores are:

Virginia Hams: 60 points.

Maryland Beltwavers: 57 points.

Arlington/Alexandria/DC Capitol Punishers: 30 points

= = = = =

Herndon/Reston Terrorist Cell: Eliminated

Columbia/Potomac Esquires: Eliminated

World Global Trots: Eliminated

Read more Weak Weeks

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