proudly resents ...

 

The Week in Loserdom:

A rag tag team of Losers this week took on organized trivia and won... well, they did gosh darn good for rookies. This week also featured another birthday for the always youthful Sue Lin Chong. And today is the August brunch, which just happens to fall near a full moon, a dangerous combination. Finally, the Czar noted Jennifer Hart's 500th appearance and was , for Him at least, unusually kind. Don't get accustom to praise from The Czar, no other Losers are likely to go over 500 till next spring.

Results of Week LXXVI (The New Name in Humor Contests) ^*

Summary:

This week's new, nicer, names for things proved to be fertile ground. Several of the entries came closer to euphamisms than new names, but we're not going to get technical here.

F2.1 (Thus Spake the Czar):
We are going to remain imperiously silent. We will respond to the occasional individual entreaty, as is our wont.

The Siberian Express:

This week's pick was an easy one. Rookie rider Alan Haeberle gets a seat in the Express's first class car for his "XTreme Tiddlywinks" entry. Of the ones printed, it would easily be our winner. Special credit also to Dan Dunn for the cleverest entry, renaming menstruation "pumping iron" and to Lloyd Duvall, whose "Newark-on-Hudson" isn't all that funny, but really does improve the old name.

Score Losers:

Hart breaks 500 for her career and becomes the second Loser over 50 for 2001. Lots of other regulars have good weeks: Caron exceeds her entire July output with three bumpers; Zarrow does the same and provides the contest suggestion. Smith breaks a modest slump with his three HMs and gets a kind mention from the Czar. Patishnock pays one of his rare visits to Loserland to scoop up his first win of the Restoration. The Weak Week Stats Page has lots of fun scores for all Losers who have appeared at least three times this year.

Week LXXX (Bland Ambition):

The Weak Week Prediction:

Dave Zarrow offers up a contest so simple and so right for the Invitational, we had a hard believing it hadn't been done before. Our only reservation about this one is that the six examples will be better than the entries. Climb Mount Vernon looks like the winner to us.

The Weak Week Word to the Wise (WWWW):

Have a seat, we need to chat for just a bit. Yes, it's true that sending in "Being third runner-up in the Style Invitational" is a darn funny idea. And, yes, it would be even funnier if the Czar made that the fourth runner-up, but you need to face facts. By the time you send it, you'll be the 124th person to try it. Now run along and try to come up with something original.

Russ to Judgment

On a one-seventeen scale, sixteen being best, Week LXXX gets a:

Even if the ones He prints are not as god as the examples, it should be a hoot.

How Cool the Drool

On a one-five scale (where five is a stuffed mongoose) this week's Nixon & Elvis Photo gets a:

Been there, didn't win that.

Weakest Survivor Loser Millionaire:

DC, Arlington, and Alexandria fell way behind the first week and, even though they played tough after that, they were never able to make up the lost ground. Capitol Punishers, you are the weakest Losers...g'bye.

It all comes down to next week. In a dream match up, the two dominant teams face each other in a single week of Ask Backwards. All the members of the winning team who have contributed even one point to the victory will go on to compete among themselves for the million dollar prize. Next week should be a classic.

The Virginia Hams have won three weeks in a row and currently lead by six. But the lead isn't worth much going into the final round as they need at least a tie to advance. The Hams depend heavily on their three big men, Smith, Beland, and Doyle and desperately need a good week from at least two of them. If the Hams have any weaknesses they are their traditionally poor showing in Ask Backwards competitions and that lack of depth among the regulars.

The Maryland Beltwavers, in contract, feature amazing depth. Witte, Paul, Genz, Dudzik, and Grinath top the team this year, but the Beltwavers can always count on some production from a long list of others, including veterans such as Carnahan and Gaymon. The Beltwavers took the early lead in the contest, but fell off in recent weeks. A close look shows that, except for Dudzik who lead the team for the month, their top scorers had a disappointing July. The crucial question is: will they rally in time?

Read more Weak Weeks

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